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When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

theferrett.com

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Re: When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

#2
I think oftentimes in human interaction you can either be right or be liked. It might seem like a great injustice but oftentimes, being right comes at the expense of another being wrong. The problem is that there is nothing wrong with being wrong and yet a lot of us still take this very personally. Everyone is wrong until someone tells them what is right.

Re: When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

#5
As an egocentric self-righteous narcissist who spent their 20s making friends by being "right", I'm slowly starting to learn that isn't a fun way to live. I think it's the same thing as when someone you care about is "complaining", you don't always have to help them solve the problem, sometimes they just want to talk.

Re: When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

#6
I think this article indirectly highlights why mob rule and direct democracies are so potentially dangerous: people need to feel accepted, and will take many ideas on faith, even dangerous ones, than to risk having an opinion that causes them to feel the scorn of their peers.

Re: When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

#7
> "And if it was just flat-earthers, I’d say fine, it’s harmless. But you’ve got anti-vaxxers and Men’s Rights Advocates and anti-global warming folks and TERFs and incels out there, all fueled by one central pivot point of humanity – namely, that it’s lonely being wrong."

It seems quite odd that he lumps "Mens rights advocates" in there. Are they crazy?

Re: When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

#8

I think oftentimes in human interaction you can either be right or be liked. It might seem like a great injustice but oftentimes, being right comes at the expense of another being wrong. The problem is that there is nothing wrong with being wrong and yet a lot of us still take this very personally. Everyone is wrong until someone tells them what is right.

>[...]being right comes at the expense of another being wrong. The problem is that there is nothing wrong with being wrong[...]

I think this hits the nail on the head, completely.

I think a large part of it, for me at least, was that school taught me that wrong is bad. Not knowing an answer is bad. Failure. It took many years after school to correct that belief - and I'm much happier for it.

Being wrong is great, in a way. Of course I'd like to be right about everything all the time but I know that's not possible. Being wrong lets me know that I have an opportunity to learn what is right.

Re: When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

#9

> "And if it was just flat-earthers, I’d say fine, it’s harmless. But you’ve got anti-vaxxers and Men’s Rights Advocates and anti-global warming folks and TERFs and incels out there, all fueled by one central pivot point of humanity – namely, that it’s lonely being wrong." It seems quite odd that he lumps "Mens rights advocates" in there. Are they crazy?

[deleted]

Re: When Having Friends Is More Alluring Than Being Right

#10
I’ve been thinking of starting a cult. Not a real cult. It would explicitly be a fake cult, and it would have rules to prevent all the evil stuff cults do. But there’s a reason that people join and become very committed to them (or religions). They provide a community, a sense of common purpose, and a support network. Artificially replicating that while cutting out the bad stuff, and scaling that to the level of the Catholic Church or Islam would be the biggest thing one could do to improve human happiness in developed countries in my opinion.
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