Get off the computer and pay attention to your new wife!
He's not allowed. She's probably getting dressed.
Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
31–40 of 44 posts
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#32Congratulations. Quick tip - set time off the grid to enjoy each other's (and future kids') company. It's just amazing how being connected can take away from true moments of love.
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#33single most important tip from a geek who's been happily married for 5 years now: The wife is always right !!
That kind of thinking perfectly represents why I'll probably never get married.
No, she isn't always right. Nobody is always right. Women just think they can yank men's strings with the threat of A. witholding sex, and/or B. divorce (marriage / divorce laws heavily favor women, at least in the US.)
Before I'd even consider getting married, I'd have to know that my wife to be understands that we're equals in the relationship... I'm not kowtowing to her, and I wouldn't expect her to kowtow to me. But no way would I ever voluntarily enter into such a lopsided relationship as the typical American marriage, where the wife has her husband "by the balls."
If nothing else, it's a good argument for keeping one's pickup skills sharp, just so the wife knows that "withholding sex" isn't much of a threat. And a good argument for a well-written pre-nup.
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#34Also, it might be worth reading what Roissy has to say on the subject:
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#35Honest, open communication. If your wife knows everything that's going on in your head & your life, & you know everything that's going on in her head & her life, you'll be equipped to deal with pretty much every problem you can face.
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#36I was married over 20 years and the divorce was amicable. We treated the relationship as a private matter and nobody's business. My oldest son has said that when he was a kid, he couldn't comprehend stereotypical jokes about interfering in-laws and the like because he never once saw that in his own family. My ex was career military, so we didn't live near either of our families. That simplified that aspect of it. But I imagine we would have drawn pretty clear boundaries in that regard anyway, even if circumstances had been different. What goes on in the marriage has to be between the two of you and the rest of the world can go screw itself. If you can get that piece right, the marriage can withstand quite a lot, for many years.
Congratulations! I hope this is happily ever after.
PS: If at all possible, call when you are going to be late. That will go a long way towards letting your spouse know that you do really care about them even when the business is making demands on your time. It took my ex too many years to get the hang of that one.
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#37single most important tip from a geek who's been happily married for 5 years now: The wife is always right !!
That kind of thinking perfectly represents why I'll probably never get married. No, she isn't always right. Nobody is always right. Women just think they can yank men's strings with the threat of A. witholding sex, and/or B. divorce (marriage / divorce laws heavily favor women, at least in the US.) Before I'd even consider getting married, I'd have to know that my wife to be understands that we're equals in the relat…
Good lord, that's not what that expression means.
It means don't argue about unimportant things. If your spouse wants something that you don't have a strong opinion about then roll with it. Don't sweat the small stuff.
If you're keeping your pickup skills sharp, you haven't really gotten married, you just did some mock ceremony and happen to be living together.
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#38#1. say "I do"
Patience is really a virture. And you don't need to win every battle to win the war. Wait until it is something that really matters to you before raising your voice.
I don't know if I have been sucessful or not yet. I have only been married 28 years. My wife's parents made it over 50 years.
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#39Earlier quoted context omitted.
That kind of thinking perfectly represents why I'll probably never get married. No, she isn't always right. Nobody is always right. Women just think they can yank men's strings with the threat of A. witholding sex, and/or B. divorce (marriage / divorce laws heavily favor women, at least in the US.) Before I'd even consider getting married, I'd have to know that my wife to be understands that we're equals in the relat…
Good lord, that's not what that expression means. It means don't argue about unimportant things. If your spouse wants something that you don't have a strong opinion about then roll with it. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you're keeping your pickup skills sharp, you haven't really gotten married, you just did some mock ceremony and happen to be living together.
It means don't argue about unimportant things. If your spouse wants something that you don't have a strong opinion about then roll with it. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Maybe to you... I know more than a few of my guy friends who literally let their wives control them "by the balls" so to speak, and don't have that healthy balance.
But anyway, yeah, what you just said, I'm down with that, when you put it that way.
If you're keeping your pickup skills sharp, you haven't really gotten married, you just did some mock ceremony and happen to be living together.
I have to admit, my views on the nature of sex, romance, dating, marriage are NOT inline with the majority of society; so it comes as no surprise that you would say that. I really think the whole idea of life-long monogamous relationships is basically a farce... I'm basically polyamorous, but can see the merits of interludes of monogamy....serial monogamy if you will.
Re: Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?
#40I've been married and divorced and I'm still in my late twenties. Not sure I can help you with any maxims on maintaining a healthy marriage but on the startup front I would suggest you strongly consider a pre-nup - or if the wedding is this evening, a post-nup. I sincerely hope you never end up in a divorce situation but during mine (under California law) I had to give up 50% of my equity and options rights in the st…
I couldn't disagree more strongly with this sentiment. Marriage is built on trust, and with a pre-nup agreement, you're starting out with the premise BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN MARRIED ... that 'this is how we divorce'. BAD IDEA. If you don't trust someone enough, don't get married. Period. End of story.
Have you been married before? Just wondering -- not trying to be sarcastic or anything.