Ask HN: getting married tonight - tips for success?

Your spouse knows what you’re doing and supports you, so make a little time daily to recognize that commitment to you, with a commitment to them.

From previous threads things I've seen and put into action that really work:

- Have a sit-down dinner together every night.

- Spend at least half-of-one weekend day out of the house together.

- Spend at least 15 mins of uninterrupted time talking and focused on each other in the morning, and before bed.

More good threads on this topic:

http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-entrepreneur...

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1620335

http://searchyc.com/submissions/marriage

Lastly, SUCCEED!

The dividends of success provide financial stability which is a cornerstone for a happy marriage.

We knew from the start that we did not ever want to go through a divorce, and that we wanted our marriage to be for keeps. So, we worked backwards from that and thought about what it would take to make that happen.

So, I suggested that we go to marriage counseling right after we got married. And, within 6 months of getting married, we did marriage counseling for 1.5 years. It really helped a lot.

We've also taken communication classes together and we've made a point to go back in to counseling to talk through problems with a third party present before things get too bad.

It takes a lot of time and effort, but marriage is one of those investments where the returns always out weight the investment in it.

BTW, my wife is also my co founder.

Advice? Don't!!! (Just a little vestibule humor.)

Real advice...

Don't ever treat your partner worse than you would treat a stranger. Another way of saying don't take them for granted.

Ensure your partner becomes or remains your best friend.

You will both change over the years. Do it together or you will inevitably do it separately.

Be a little unpredictable about doing nice things for your partner. Shockingly effective.

None of this is relevant for tonight. Enjoy!

If you don't trust someone enough, don't get married. Period. End of story.

And listen to her, at least twice as much as you speak. You know... the whole two ears - one mouth cliché? :)

Is she your best friend? If she isn't, get to a place in your relationship where she is.

Include her in your plans, your thoughts, your dreams.

Also, being a tech geek, you likely have the "problem solving" mentality. Understand that some days, she will be emotional, and perhaps even irrational... this is not the time to "fix" her. Just listen.

Women are responders. Typically, if you take good care of her, there's nothing she wouldn't do for you.

It is simple, but not at all easy. Be prepared for HARD WORK. :)