#2, 3, and 4 indicate that you actually have some idea what you're doing, and an understanding of developers, and are _trying_ to do the right thing, which is all really good. But #1 might be sabotaging all of that.
I don't know how many product people you have, but if everyone followed your suggestion at some companies, then the developers would spend all day chit-chatting with product managers and nothing would ever get done. Even with only 1 product manager, I can't imagine that spending ~40% of the day on status updates is worthwhile. (Literally have had meetings where the answer was "status is the same as it was an hour ago because we've been in this meeting giving repetitive status updates the whole time.")
What you need to do is get to know the developers themselves - how they work, how they communicate, what their domain knowledge is, etc. Then you'll know when you need to message them. And hopefully they'll know when to message you, but you'll also learn which ones might not under which circumstances.
Some will spend a lot of time planning, achieving nothing, but then produce something well-planned. Others take a quick stab, learn from it, iterate, and refine. And there are other styles.
Some try to understand things better before talking about them, others want to talk first. Some have enough domain knowledge that they can 'be the user', while others see the user as the one who keeps screwing things up and making things difficult.
All will occasionally get stuck in that cycle of "ok, it's _almost_ done" without realizing what they don't know until they take the next step. Interrupting to ask in that case isn't going to change anything. It's just something that is always going to happen and is (or should be) factored into the long-term planning averages.
The best PMs know their developers and know when to ping and I'm happy to talk to them when they do, even if (especially if) I'm not doing well. They don't pester me several times a day, so I don't need to spam filter them.
If you're really having anxiety attacks and paranoia several times a day when you're not monitoring your developers' every move, you should consider a therapist and possibly a more easygoing laid-back job. Software is stressful, but it shouldn't be that stressful, and inflicting stress on your coworkers isn't a great solution.