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Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

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Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#231
post #51

I have a flight reflex which makes me run away when things get tough. I quit a number of jobs because of that and then rationalized it to myself by blaming it on whatever wasn't perfect at these companies. I like to feel I'm the victim of circumstances, blaming hardships on some abstract entity (like fate), subconsciously hoping that 'fate' will prove me wrong by making something good happen to me. I am using substan…

I'd also like to hear what good things you found out about yourself! It's good to be self-aware, but don't just pick at your bad points. How would your friends and family describe you. If you were your friend, how would you describe yourself?

Thanks for asking, this is indeed much harder to answer for me.

I think I have a good sense of humour, I am broadly interested, I can listen to understand, I give other people room and don't push myself into the foreground, I keep my promises, I am honest, I don't take myself too seriously, I like harmony and want others to be well, I can sense the atmosphere in a room and adapt to it, I can explain things well for a given audience, ... plus some skills which help mostly professionally.

Thanks again for the prompt to get me thinking about this. I'm actually happy with that, I can see a common theme, and maybe even how some of the traits I see as positive are the flipside of those that I see as negative.

This is actually something I deeply believe: you cannot really diminish or boost one isolated aspect of your character, without also diminishing or boosting its counter-weight on the other side of the spectrum. If you become more organized, you probably also become less creative and out-of-the-box thinking, if you become more self-confident, you will be perceived as more arrogant than before etc. No yin without yang, no light without shadows.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#232
post #51

I have a flight reflex which makes me run away when things get tough. I quit a number of jobs because of that and then rationalized it to myself by blaming it on whatever wasn't perfect at these companies. I like to feel I'm the victim of circumstances, blaming hardships on some abstract entity (like fate), subconsciously hoping that 'fate' will prove me wrong by making something good happen to me. I am using substan…

<3

<3 to you, too! :) Your profile looks great, if I was looking for an Engineering Manager, I would want to get to know you!

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Developer Hegemony is interesting. I don’t agree with Erik that you can classify the corporate/business world as simply as he does, for one I think the “idealist” part of his spectrum is probably two to three separate personas (idealists, chronically-anxious, grateful/approval hungry). I do value, greatly, the encouragement to strike out on business though. Rich Dad Poor Dad has some ok mental-model ideas that are gr…

I think these are fair assessments. I don't treat either or as gospel, and I'm always quick to invoke "all models are wrong, but some are useful". However, they both have some interesting insights that have helped my personal journey. Rich Dad Poor Dad (Kiyosaki) helped me see debt differently. I grew up with the mindset that all debt is bad, it's slavery, and it should be paid off... and that money is meant to be sa…

Cool. I agree with the debt lessons/mindset changes from that book. Cheers

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#234

life, existence, other people are endlessly complicated. Spending too much time observing and figuring them out, prevents you from living and enjoying it. Something like Heisenberg uncertainty principle in quantum physics. All my emotions are there with a reason, it's important to figure out what is it. self-discipline and pursuit of your goals is a road to healthy, stable self-confidence and self-esteem. Everyone ar…

> Everyone around you seem to know how you should lead your life, listen to only those whose life is similar to what you aspire, filter out the rest. Well put. I thought about this a bit when collecting advice on next career steps from a range of acquaintances and contacts earlier this year - I realized that it made almost no difference the level of detail/context I provided to them about my situation - they invariab…

Glad we're on the same page with this.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#235

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> listen to only those whose life is similar to what you aspire, filter out the rest So I believe for the most part, I have been following this advice and I'm not sure if it has been optimal for achieving my goal. I'm not debating, I quite literally don't know. I'm current attending university. The issue is, I aspire to start my own company, and eventually build a billion dollar company. That is my life's ambition an…

In my experience being good friends with people =/= accepting and applying their life advice. I have plenty of people I consider good friends who do almost nothing to further my career goals but are worth so much to me in terms of emotional support, companionship, and sharing in common interests. Regarding the Google/Facebook group of potential friends: I would describe most people there as hardworking, diligent, and…

Exactly! It doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't be good friends with people, only because you wouldn't apply their life advices. There are many other qualities in people that you can benefit from.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#236

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I highly recommend ice cold showers to anyone looking to explore this direction. They’re easily available, don’t take very long, and produce immediate benefits.

You might have me jump into my pool on winter!

This is probably just a funny statement but be careful about submersion w/o conditioning yourself for it prior: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_shock_response

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#237
post #25

Coming into a significant amount of "paper" money didn't really make me any happier.

You kind of have to practice gratitude.

"I'm glad I didn't have any trouble paying the security deposit so I could move." "Good thing I can afford this dental care I need." "Isn't it nice that someone will just tow my car for me? When you have the money it's very convenient."

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