Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#151

Post by truth_be_told » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 1:45 PM UTC

raghavkukreti wrote: post #30

I've failed, I'm not as smart as I think and in the end, I know I'm useless.

Without giving you simple platitudes, here is some advice;

First read and keep a copy of Rudyard Kipling's poem "If" always at hand - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If%E2%80%94

Root Advice: Do not compare yourself to others constantly. This is the root of all evil. You should only focus on bettering your "present/future" self over your "past" self.

>I've failed,

If you have failed in some, you have succeeded in others. "Failure" is relative. Maybe you have had some major failures but that is no excuse to lose heart. You still have to soldier on and live the rest of your life without allowing a single event to define the future. If you live it positively you will make yourself lots more opportunities and make up for any past failures.

>I'm not as smart as I think

Actually, you are on a multi-dimensional "Smartness" scale where there is always some people much smarter and some people less smarter than you on any given dimension. You have to focus on your strengths i.e. where you are more towards the positive end of the scale and not obsess on the negative dimensions.

>I know I'm useless

Hey, HEy, HEY! DO NOT GO DOWN THIS LINE OF THINKING! SNAP OUT OF IT!

Unless and until you are biologically impaired, nobody is ever useless. They always can define a position for themselves in Society. Do not allow Society to define it for you but define it yourself to find some meaning for your life. That is enough.

PS: The ancient Hindu Text "Yoga Vasistha" opens with a strong emphasis on "Self-Effort" which is worth keeping in mind. Note that you don't have to believe in God/Religion/etc. to get the positive message. Here it is with some slight edits;

Sage Vasistha says: In this world whatever is gained is gained by self effort; where failure is encountered it is seen that there has been slackness of effort. This is obvious; but what is called fate is fictitious and is not seen.

Self-effort, Rama, is that mental, verbal and physical action ...

... When there is obstruction in the fruition of self-effort one should examine to see if there is [wrong] action, and if there is, it should be immediately corrected. There is no power greater than right action in the present. Hence, one should take recourse to self-effort, grinding one’s teeth, and one should overcome ... fate by present effort.

The lazy man is worse than a donkey. One should never yield to laziness ... seeing that life is ebbing away every moment.

One who says “Fate is directing me to do this” is brainless and the goddess of fortune abandons him. Hence by self-effort acquire ... and know that this self-effort leads to [results].

If this dreadful source of evil named laziness is not found on earth, who will ever be illiterate and poor? It is because of laziness that people live the life of animals, miserable and poverty stricken.

As is the effort so is the fruit, O Rama: this is the meaning of self-effort, and it is also known as fate (divine). When afflicted by suffering people cry “Alas, what tragedy” or “Alas, look at my fate”, both of which mean the same thing. What is called fate or divine will is nothing other than the action of the past. The present is infinitely more potent than the past. They indeed are fools who are satisfied with the fruits of their past effort (which they regard as divine will) and do not engage themselves in self-effort now.

If you see the present self-effort is sometimes thwarted by fate (or divine will), you should understand that the present self-effort is weak. A weak and dull-witted man sees the hand of providence when he is confronted by a strong and powerful adversary and succumbs to him.

Self effort is based on these three – knowledge ..., instructions ... and one’s own effort. Fate (or divine dispensation) does not enter here.

Fate or divine dispensation is merely a convention which has come to be regarded as truth by being repeatedly declared to be true. If this god or fate is truly the ordainer of everything in this world, of what meaning is any action at all?

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#152

Post by FearNotDaniel » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 2:14 PM UTC

pinouchon wrote: post #143

astrodev wrote: post #59

That despite being physically fit, at the very least decently looking, earning well, having interesting interests (such as doing a cool PhD and being a competitive dancer), despite having a decent social network and meeting lots of women, I will likely die a loveless virgin. It's unspeakably depressing.

Go down that rabbit hole. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/ It will give you a toolkit for "debugging" relationships.

More correctly, it will give you a toolkit for identifying vulnerable women who do not have the self esteem to detect and avoid abusive relationships, and a set of behaviours you can use to exploit their insecurity to build physical relationships with women you despise. If you're looking for relationships that have emotional connection, support, and mutual respect and understanding, you may want to look for advice elsewhere.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#153

Post by FearNotDaniel » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 2:25 PM UTC

mruts wrote: post #92

I seem to be an alcoholic, I guess? I dunno, I now drink like maybe 80oz of beer a night? Is this a problem? I'm not sure. I don't know if it's affecting me in anyway (I'm primarily concerned about my brain). I never feel drunk, but maybe that's also a problem? I'm trying to reconcile with how I feel (only mildly buzzed at the end of the night) with how much it sounds. Hell, in college, I would have considered that a…

The best way to figure out if you are an alcoholic or not is to meet other people who self-identify as alcoholics (or addicts more generally), and see if their stories ring true with you. It's only a problem if it's a problem for you - or for other people you care about, or for any individuals who end up suffering as a result of your drinking.

I am in no position to tell you whether you have a problem or not, but I know from experience (my own and others') that one of the reasons some people continue drinking or using drugs to excess is to escape from reality, so they can remain in denial about the mess they have caused in their own or other people's lives. This might not be you. But also, it might be you.

Maybe go and check out a few meetings and see if you learn anything that helps you to decide:

https://www.aa.org/

https://www.na.org/meetingsearch/

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#154

Post by news_hacker » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 2:49 PM UTC

maerF0x0 wrote: post #65

I've learned that despite earning in the 98th %ile, working a job will likely not make me rich. I define rich as ~5M in assets including primary residence. Thus taking a "career" is a non-starter and I would advise everyone considering working for someone else to either 1) resign themselves to a distinctly middle class life or 2) reconsider and start a business. Careers that reliably earn > 500k could be considered e…

Agreed, what makes this worse is that the tax system is not set up to benefit those who work jobs.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#155

Post by Bootwizard » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 3:24 PM UTC

justsomeguy3591 wrote: post #43

- Following your curiosity and passion often leads to amazing things - Sometimes you simply don't have enough information to make a super calculated decision and you have to trust your gut and just go for it - Performing stack traces on my beliefs and following them down to the people & things I originally got them from has allowed me to clear some real garbage out of my mind

I'm really interested in how that third one works. Can you elaborate on the process involved?

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#156

Post by justsomeguy3591 » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 3:28 PM UTC

Aty2685 wrote: post #146

dmilicevic wrote: post #2

life, existence, other people are endlessly complicated. Spending too much time observing and figuring them out, prevents you from living and enjoying it. Something like Heisenberg uncertainty principle in quantum physics. All my emotions are there with a reason, it's important to figure out what is it. self-discipline and pursuit of your goals is a road to healthy, stable self-confidence and self-esteem. Everyone ar…

> listen to only those whose life is similar to what you aspire, filter out the rest So I believe for the most part, I have been following this advice and I'm not sure if it has been optimal for achieving my goal. I'm not debating, I quite literally don't know. I'm current attending university. The issue is, I aspire to start my own company, and eventually build a billion dollar company. That is my life's ambition an…

In my experience being good friends with people =/= accepting and applying their life advice. I have plenty of people I consider good friends who do almost nothing to further my career goals but are worth so much to me in terms of emotional support, companionship, and sharing in common interests.

Regarding the Google/Facebook group of potential friends: I would describe most people there as hardworking, diligent, and smart - all wonderful traits to look for in friends even if your end goals aren't necessarily aligned. And given the nature of the companies they're working for - there's plenty of value in hearing their perspective of how things operate from the inside of these companies in addition to the potential networking/social connection opportunities.

My advice (for whatever it's worth) would be to focus on finding a few people you could consider mentors or advisors - preferably people that have founded or are in the process of founding companies and look to them for advice on your particular path and situations. You're right that you likely won't find these people at school; I'd say the a better bet would be something like AngelList, Twitter, in-person events, or even cold-emailing those who you think you can provide some value to (this is important).

Best of luck on your adventure!

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#157

Post by FranzFerdiNaN » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 4:06 PM UTC

ethnologica wrote: post #107

•You are what you consume - People, music, news, etc. If you mostly consume the “positive” side of life, your mindset will follow. •Moving upwards in society is not as easy as I thought. “Classes” reproduce themselves in the dress of habitus. •You can only rely on yourself. “Friends” are stage of life companions. •Finding a partner in crime seems like a tough task - don’t settle with someone, who you are only with to…

> Politics will make you depressed. If you are not going to be a politician let things be.

Unfortunately, while you are ignoring politics your boss, your landlord, your insurance company etcetera aren't. So by ignoring politics you are leaving it to them. And that is something you probably can't afford.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#158

Post by closeparen » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 4:23 PM UTC

0kl wrote: post #73

1) when getting things done: the connective tissue of human relationships is at least of equal importance as the technical merits of a solution 2) in relationships: over and explicit communicating is never bad 3) always be an optimist - the world has always had problems, and not every problem will be solved in my lifetime - so push the needle, and live happily. *spacing

A sister team under the same director offered a relevant platform, and we couldn't really turn it down. We went with an architecture based on human relationships instead of technical merit. The team sitting next to me, facing the Sisyphean task of operating a correct and reliable product on this platform, all burned out and left within a year.

I've taken away the opposite of your #1.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#159

Post by rewgs » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 4:29 PM UTC

Few things are as important as consistently getting quality sleep. Not doing so slowly, slowly ruins your life. So slowly that you’ll think it’s other things, or that the side effects of your sleep deprivation are the causes themselves.

Don’t trade sleep for anything. Just don’t.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#160

Post by suchoudh » Sat, Jul 20, 2019, 4:34 PM UTC

Last 12 months

1) Took a mini-retirement.

2) Spent a lot of time with my son (who is 12 now).Shared with him passion for reading books. Knowing languages.

3) Found out that I am not as tough as I thought myself to be.

4) Learned to understand a lot of layers in the ongoing conversations. (Earlier I only heard what was told on surface. I may be overdoing layers now)

5) I strongly believed that I will exercise once I have enough time on my hand. Guess what? Even after having all the time in the world I wasted most of it without working on reduing my weight. (obesity)

6) I wanted to taste the theory that you will not die of starvation (not in todays world). This is true. Even if you do not earn money you still can manage to have twice a day meal. (I am well educated MBA Engg et al)

7) When I saw the UNDP SDG Goals #1 Noone will be left behind. I constantly wondered if the opposite can be the case. Now I think its the government which is getting left behind. (They are so slow to adopt anything new)

8)I did a 1-year diploma in Disaster Management from Disaster management Institute. (I was in Bhopal when the worst Industrial disaster took place of Union Carbide). I learnt very little of value from classes but a lot more from educational MOOC courses.

9) Social life goes for a topsy-turn when you do not have an answer to question "What do you do for a living ?" I told them I just live, Most people did not believe me.Eventually they started distancing from me and then I found a totally new set of friends who lived nearby but had totally different value system. ( I kept my living extremely frugal)

10) These days I work with young minds and try to ignite the spark of innovation by telling them stories and work with them on the small time projects.