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Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

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Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#51
I have a flight reflex which makes me run away when things get tough. I quit a number of jobs because of that and then rationalized it to myself by blaming it on whatever wasn't perfect at these companies.

I like to feel I'm the victim of circumstances, blaming hardships on some abstract entity (like fate), subconsciously hoping that 'fate' will prove me wrong by making something good happen to me.

I am using substances (nicotine, sweets) and certain activities (web browsing, video streaming, podcasts) as distractions so that I don't have to face emptiness, loneliness, and boredom.

I am constantly looking for short-term rewards and expect instant gratification for pretty mundane things.

I am very judgmental towards other people and think I can see through their little lies to themselves, but don't dare to look at my own.

I crave recognition and care way too much about what other people think of me. I cannot take it when other people think I'm stupid, didn't get something, acted carelessly, wasn't on top of things etc

I am afraid of facing uncomfortable truths about myself, my history and my current situation.

I focus too much on where I'm not entirely the way I would like to be and have a hard time accepting myself the way I am.

And yes, I realized almost all of that only in the last 12 months.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#52
Patience isn't about waiting for something to take a little bit of extra time. It's about working on something and being willing to wait for _years_ if necessary to see it happen. To know that what your waiting for is out there on the horizon, is visible to you at all times, yet there is no way of speeding up your journey toward it. Ultimately, it's about how we live in the space between the moments we anticipate.

It's been a very frustrating, but important 12 months.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#55

Not taught: - Just a reminder I could die one second from now. Tuesday a friend of 21 years, had his heart stop. CPR was performed all the way to the hospital where they found a blockage that they cleared, however his brain had been without oxygen for quite some time and there was no brain activity. 72 hour protocol was started (arctic sun) but he died Wednesday evening leaving his girl, 1 kid and 4 step kids. Taught…

Sorry about your loss.

I lost a friend of 17 years last spring (he was 30) to a similar cardiovascular issue, and I'm still picking up the pieces more than a year later. It hit way harder than losing grandparents.

It also showed me that people I'm surrounded by are a lot shittier than I thought compared to him. It taught me to look out for my personal interests more, especially when it comes to health and compensation for my time, and generally standing up to obnoxious bullies.

> The general population is extremely ignorant to climate change and the rather serious consequences it brings. I've had many people tell me it's fake, it's just something politicians use in debates, it's a conspiracy, that we aren't experiencing global warming but in fact are headed for a mini ice age, that they don't care because they can't stop it so they're going to keep on living their life how they want

I think we have to realize that people vary wildly in their cognitive ability, and some people may just never be able to grasp complex abstract concepts. It doesn't make them worse people, but I don't want to be subject to the tyranny of ignorance either. Another part of this is that people are dealing with personal crises much of their time (like loss of loved ones) and that their focus cannot be diverted to global problems for too long. Life's hard enough without having existential crises about the survival of your species every week. Not sure how to tackle this one.

> That Silicon Valley is comical. I'd always pictured it as these brilliant people doing neat stuff, making breakthroughs and driving future technology.

The one place that changed my view of technology is, surprisingly, HN itself. For the same reasons you state, I've committed to being a generalist, because most HN posters and the tech cargo cult shows how easily you lose perspective if you are successful in a narrow field of tech. It circles back to your earlier point about tech being elitist. Just the idea of people who have very narrow perspectives being elitist is hilariously ironic to me.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#57

Do you have lower back problems and digestive problems? They might be related, even if you have a MRI showing degenerative disc disease. Every time I "forget" that I'm lactose intolerant, I pay for it in the bathroom and in my lower back for the next few days, even if I use lactase enzyme pills. Keep away from all lactose for a week? Back is generally fine.

Have you tried overdosing on fermented foods? I thought I was allergic to so many foods, but I guess my gut ecosystem was just messed up. Eating loads of fermented foods everyday has allowed me to eat all the foods I thought I was allergic to again. Of course, varies per person, but it may help.

Thanks, I'll look into this.

I'm sensitive to lactose, but eating too much of anything in one sitting will give me horrendous breath, especially (red) meat and onions.

Omeprazole is required at this point.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#59
That despite being physically fit, at the very least decently looking, earning well, having interesting interests (such as doing a cool PhD and being a competitive dancer), despite having a decent social network and meeting lots of women, I will likely die a loveless virgin.

It's unspeakably depressing.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#60
In the last 12 months, I begun understanding:

- what attachment theory was, as a tool/framework analyze myself, others, and the world around me

- about western philosophy (Plato, Socrates, Marcus Aurelius)

- about eastern Europe or it's history (e.g. Alexander the Great, Siege of Constantinople, the Crusades, Subutai)

- TypeScript

- how to say hi in Polish or Ukrainian

- how powerful desktop PC's are compared to laptops, esp. at compilation (that includes webpack)

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