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The Loneliness Epidemic

melmagazine.com

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Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#301

Post by realbarack »

izzydata wrote: post #228
major505 wrote: post #73

Really. I think the big problem here is social networks. Nobody interact face to face.I used to go to bars , look for a pretty girl and pay her a drink to start a conversation. Nowdays this is considered creep. They expect that I download an app, wait for a match ans just goeet for a quick chat and maybe some action. Just turn of your computers and go to a bar. Interact to people. Start conversations with stranger pe…

I appreciate the sentiment of this, but I don't like how associated dating is with drinking alcohol. I don't drink and I would never go to a bar. If there were other types of social spaces not associated with drinking that would be great.

I totally agree. I do drink but would prefer to do it less and frequently end up using it as a bit of a social crutch. Coffee shops are fine during the day but I really wish there were more booze-free places to hang out at night.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#302

Post by FooHentai »

calcifer wrote: post #232
ryanmercer wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm definitely lower middle class, I make 34k a year...

Not sure how accurate this [1] is, but 34k USD puts you in the top ~0.88% richest people on the planet. If that's true, you are not "lower" anything... [1] http://www.globalrichlist.com/

I haven't downed your post but wanted to reply to explain why I think it's not helpful to the discussion: You're moving the goalposts.

By your definition no American is a member of the global lower class, as defined purely on an income basis. That's a fine point to make if the discussion was about global poverty, but that's clearly not what this discussion is about. In effect, your comment amounts to whataboutism.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#303

Post by major505 »

izzydata wrote: post #228
major505 wrote: post #73

Really. I think the big problem here is social networks. Nobody interact face to face.I used to go to bars , look for a pretty girl and pay her a drink to start a conversation. Nowdays this is considered creep. They expect that I download an app, wait for a match ans just goeet for a quick chat and maybe some action. Just turn of your computers and go to a bar. Interact to people. Start conversations with stranger pe…

I appreciate the sentiment of this, but I don't like how associated dating is with drinking alcohol. I don't drink and I would never go to a bar. If there were other types of social spaces not associated with drinking that would be great.

Is a way of saying. You can change a bar for a coffe shop or something like that. What I'm saying get out your home and do things you apreciate. You will eventually make friands with people with the same interest.

You care about art? Go to museuns. Like italian food? Go to a cantina once in a while, even alone you will eat great food, make friends with the owners and waiters, etc.

Theres always something to do outside facebook.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#304

Post by major505 »

AdrianB1 wrote: post #209
bluntfang wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

the creepy part is going to a public place and sexualizing it by explicitly seeking out "pretty girl"s and buying them drinks. Going out and seek genuine connections with people instead of buying "pretty girl"s drinks is not creepy.

You don't go in a bar for a deep conversation, you have the library and local groups of interests for that. A bar is just for relaxing and socialization, you can talk anything you want as long as you find someone to listen (or ignore) you.

I guess... if you looking for more common people... personally I'm looking for a striper named Stacy with a tatto in the lower back, dad Issues and in sometway will fuck my life... But hey.... wherether rocks your boat.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#305

Post by reitanqild »

fromthestart wrote: post #226
watwut wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Taking care of old or sick relative is not selfish. Staying in the same job is not selfish. No more selfish then changing job because some perk.

Quitting a job to take care of a sick loved one does not benefit the people you worked with toward a common goal, nor society at large. >No more selfish then changing job because some perk. The point here is that GP was complaining that there were no career benefits to making such a decision - why should there be, exactly? Such a career move benefits oneself and ones family. No one else.

> why should there be, exactly? Such a career move benefits oneself and ones family. No one else.

Because it proves they are decent people I guess?

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#306

Post by umeshunni »

throwaway3627 wrote: post #275

- Decline of organized religion - Rise of hyper-mobility - Rise of the portable screen - Rise of inequality necessitating more workaholism - Increase of monopolized corporate media - Heightened nationalism, xenophobia and politically-polarized, separate realities are factors which atomize people from each other.

Great list. Can you explain the impact of "Increase of monopolized corporate media" ?

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#307

Post by bluntfang »

AdrianB1 wrote: post #209
bluntfang wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

the creepy part is going to a public place and sexualizing it by explicitly seeking out "pretty girl"s and buying them drinks. Going out and seek genuine connections with people instead of buying "pretty girl"s drinks is not creepy.

You don't go in a bar for a deep conversation, you have the library and local groups of interests for that. A bar is just for relaxing and socialization, you can talk anything you want as long as you find someone to listen (or ignore) you.

Relaxing and Socialization != Sexualizing a public place and solely trying to pick up women. Women want to go to a bar to relax too. Do you think they can relax when men are constantly trying to buy them drinks and calling them "pretty girls"?

Genuine connection != deep conversation.

I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here, beyond being an advocate for harassment.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#308

Post by war1025 »

dondawest wrote: post #297
war1025 wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your reading of that hierarchy is different from what I got out of it. Clueless are people buy into the "Arbeit makt frei" idea. In the linked article, the majority of people in the office (not even considering the warehouse) are losers. Stanley is the quintessential "loser", and he precisely optimizes for "slower-paced, less stressful". In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's the "worker bees" that are clueless. Dwigh…

I agree that many worker bees are “clueless” but that breaks the GP heuristics. My reading seems similar but different to yours. I agree that it has nothing to do with social status outside of work: to me it’s about emotional processing. I can’t recall the specific passage but I remember Venkat talking about how clueless people seek absolution in collective emotional processing. That’s what leads me to believe the du…

Wanted to chime in that I think you are conflating working in the office as being higher on the ladder than working in the warehouse. They are two different departments. The warehouse is definitely blue-collar, and the office white-collar, but that doesn't mean the warehouse workers are inferior to the office workers.

Further I checked and Stanley is a sales rep, not middle management.

I really enjoyed reading through that article series last year when I first came across it. I spent a good amount of time wondering where I fit in the hierarchy relative to my coworkers. Ended up deciding that like all models, it's useful but incomplete. Still an interesting thing to know about.

Sort of similar to learning about personality types like Myers-Briggs or Enneagram.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#309

Post by babyloneleven »

mynameishere wrote: post #255
barberousse wrote: post #203

I just hope people don't think the working class somehow has this all down pat and that this is merely a case of bourgeois overconsumption. As someone who comes from a ghetto and became a software engineer, I can tell you now that a lot of people I grew up with engage in combinations of racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. The working class are only this candyland of authentic relations if you also accept all the so…

Removed some emotional language The part where you condemned the people you grew up with? Oh, you left that in. What on earth did you remove--something about kicking dogs?

I also grew up with racists and homophobes. Actually my mom is the most racist person I know. Should I be happy with it?

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#310

Post by [deleted] »

condercet wrote: post #246
alexashka wrote: post #221

It's more of a journalist epidemic - they keep reaching for straw-men to justify their existence. Talking about loneliness is slightly more interesting than what dress celebrity X wore at event Y. It's just bullshit - at least the dress talk doesn't pretend otherwise, for the most part. We're living in the greatest time ever. I understand that when you make no money and you're writing articles, it may seem like there…

On the contrary, many of the people I've met who most definitely do not have first world problems -- people living in Africa, Southeast Asia, and other destitute parts of the world -- often seem to lead genuinely happier lives than the stressed out existence that is the norm in the US. Being able to have a cheeseburger delivered on demand does not make up for systematic loneliness and dehumanization. The more I trave…

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