Live data from Hacker News

The Loneliness Epidemic

melmagazine.com

91–100 of 337 posts

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#91
post #34

The Screen and the Job have displaced almost everything else is our lives. Loneliness is just a primary symptom. The Screen, whether it’s TV, computer, or phone, has supplanted almost all social interactions. This manifests itself in things like SitComs on TV (just a bunch of friends or family hanging out) or Social Media on phones. It’s very easy to fill the social needs of right now with a Screen. But under even a…

>The Screen, whether it’s TV, computer, or phone, has supplanted almost all social interactions.

I think social (cooperative) gaming might be an exception to this. I'm not about to argue that it's _better_ than real-life social interaction, but hanging out and communicating with the same individuals every evening while working on shared goals as your avatars inhabit the screen can combat loneliness for many individuals without (and with!) alternatives[0].

These interactions can even lead to real-life communities and relationships. So again, not a perfect substitute, but certainly not as much a detractor as sitcoms or (I would argue) social media.

[0] https://www.bbc.com/news/disability-47064773

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#92
post #4

The good thing is we can walk next door and meet our neighbor. It is strange this is an epidemic when it is a problem that seems so easy to solve. UPDATE: based on responses to my comment it seems the core problem may be closer to home than we like to admit. CS Lewis' book The Great Divorce details this misanthropy, where hell is a product of the residents' own making because they choose to live on their own because…

I'm amazed at the responses and downvotes to this comment. Is everyone terrified of small talk with their neighbors?

I live in a big city in the Northeast and 90% of my neighbors barely speak English. I really don't see the point.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#93
post #7
post #4

The good thing is we can walk next door and meet our neighbor. It is strange this is an epidemic when it is a problem that seems so easy to solve. UPDATE: based on responses to my comment it seems the core problem may be closer to home than we like to admit. CS Lewis' book The Great Divorce details this misanthropy, where hell is a product of the residents' own making because they choose to live on their own because…

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. This is like saying alcoholism is an easy problem to solve because all they have to do is stop drinking.

It is actually just that easy. It is your own hand takes a glass or bottle and puts it into your own mouth, no one else's. The problem is you are not conscious about it, the same thing about not being willing to make contact with others.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm amazed at the responses and downvotes to this comment. Is everyone terrified of small talk with their neighbors?

No, they feel it's so simplistic it borders on insensitive. This isn't about small talk.

I can't think of a single friendship that didn't start with small talk. I never expect a leap into deep philosophical quandaries with a stranger. Willingness to chitchat about mundane things creates a foundation of trust and familiarity that has led to many deep and meaningful relationships over the years.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#95
post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The Job has completely taken over as a driving force in evaluating choices. Not to mention most of our time. People nowadays spend far more time at work than ever.

You think that today in 2019, we spend more time at "work" than at any other time in history? That's just false. Over the 20th century here, work hours have slashed in half. Henry Ford introduced the 5 day work week in 1926, prior to that it was 6. You think the average farmer in the late 1800's worked 40-50 hours? What about the average coal miner, or factory worker?

Halve the working time of today by 50% and we would reach levels that could be called "not insane".

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#96
This may seem somewhat out there, very uninformed or misanthropic, but I've been thinking about basic human needs(emotion,ego,the desire for companionship - both spiritual and otherwise) as vestigial evolutionary artifacts. Evolution and the survival of the human race required collaboration, those who did not died and failed to pass on their genes.

In the modern age though, I could argue that close collaboration is not a necessity for survival or even success, and as such why cant a portion of humanity thrive without the need for extensive social contact?

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#97
They say in the article there's no clear rising trend and self reported loneliness as an "issue" was at a similar level going back to the 1940s as today. I figure it's mainly up to two things, which the article touches on briefly.

One, family sizes are down. My parents who emigrated to the US had tons of siblings. My mom had like 8 or 9 (including a few kids who died early) and were closely knit until they emigrated the US separately as adults. My dad had 3 or 4 as well iirc.

Two, the transitions, especially the changing of jobs, and especially if it necessitates a move away from your prior group. People tend to like fixed roles and fixed communities in my experience, changing that is a big risk and a big source of anxiety. I've moved around a lot in the US and I've noticed that a vast majority of people I knew were born and raised in the states they still lived in, sometimes in the same towns, although college and the first "career" job tended to be the biggest changes and the transitions slow down after that unless forced. This even holds true for a lot of the emigrated workers I've known. As soon as externalities like job security and immigration status are stable they build families and start looking to settle down and hope to find a career long employer.

I would imagine that based on what I've seen people would be less lonely with fixed jobs, in fixed locations, with large, stable families. And people hopping jobs, company layoffs, long lived local businesses failing, and families having fewer kids are big causes of "loneliness". Although, like the article says there's not exactly a strong rising trend going back as far as the last century anyway...

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#98
post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The Job has completely taken over as a driving force in evaluating choices. Not to mention most of our time. People nowadays spend far more time at work than ever.

You think that today in 2019, we spend more time at "work" than at any other time in history? That's just false. Over the 20th century here, work hours have slashed in half. Henry Ford introduced the 5 day work week in 1926, prior to that it was 6. You think the average farmer in the late 1800's worked 40-50 hours? What about the average coal miner, or factory worker?

The situation in the late 19th century was a historical aberration and workers neither since nor previously worked that many hours. Note also that in that period, Western society was full of day laborers, hobos and other chronically underemployed people. That is how capitalists could force workers into working insane hours at low pay. Because if they didn't want to do it, then there were thousands of others that were willing to. And importantly, most women were not employed which they are now. Given these factors it is not certain that the average person worked harder in the 19th century than the average person does today. The average factory worker certainly did, but that is different.

I don't get what is with these snarky replies all over Hacker News these days. His point was that people work a lot. Quarreling over whether some people some time during history has worked even more is missing it.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#99
post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Can you see that this is an extremely dogmatic view? Snuck premise much? I doubt he'd agree that it's dogmatic, nor would I. Governments are certainly needed for certain things, but politicians tend to come up with problems to solve, or try to solve problems which they are not equipped to solve. They aren't really supposed to create a social order so much as a legal one, anyway. Even if the could, I'd see that as d…

> Governments are certainly needed for certain things, but politicians tend to come up with problems to solve, or try to solve problems which they are not equipped to solve. This is why it's dogmatic. You can't agree that there are use cases and then in the same sentence denigrate all the use cases. Or... I guess you can, but... > They aren't really supposed to create a social order so much as a legal one, anyway. At…

> At the risk of being overly ontological, the legal order arises from the social order, since the law is simply a construct of beliefs that society nominally agrees on.

That is a big leap to call those two ontological. Laws represent the beliefs of those that right them, nothing more. I am sure most politicians believe they know the will of their constituents, which is simply another belief. And yes, if a law is egregiously beyond social norms, it is possible that it will be rejected by soceity, but I would argue that is a distinct veto function.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic

#100
post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People occasionally ring my doorbell. I always pretend to not be at home. Clearly, there's a flaw in your solution.

How sad.

Experience has taught me, that nothing good comes from opening the door for unexpected guests. Though, I also neither know the names nor the faces of my neighbors living in the same house as me.
Post reply on HN