301–310 of 311 posts
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Flashbacks of my ex-wife. She would go ballistic if she thought I was interrupting her, but she would cut me off all the time and just half-heartedly apologise afterwards. She had turned into a massive bully.
Never marry, am I right fellas
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Because you want to hear what people have to say? Why listen or speak if it doesn't matter if people hear or pay attention?
You hear them as you speak. Understanding that you are always heard was one of the hardest parts of my own cultural transition from southern US to Italy. (I'm an American-Italian immigrant.) Unfortunately I developed a kind of intense mix of the two cultures and I have to work hard not to dominate others in (non Italian) conversations. I try to de-interrupt by reminding someone who stopped taking of what they were ta…
Anecdotally, this seems fairly common but perhaps not to the same intensity that you've alluded. The way I helped curb this at my workplace, which may or may not be applicable to you, was by always back-tracking to the person who was cut off. X starts saying something, Y cuts them off. As soon as Y is done speaking, I ask X: "Sorry X, what were you saying?" while ignoring Y. This non-confrontational approach seemed t…
I'm not a fan of the passive-aggressivity of this. I'd rather somebody explicitely say "sorry Y, can you please let X finish?" and talk to Y one-to-one if it's a recurrent issue
Interruption is a weird thing that is both cultural and personal. I spent a lot of time overseas conversing with people in languages other than English, and with people who spoke English as a second language. During those years I became completely comfortable never being interrupted and never interrupting.
Then I came back to America and at first found the “interrupting culture” to be UNBELIEVABLY rude. It really really rankled me for multiple months. I didn’t interrupt people so why the hell were they interrupting me??
...and then I became comfortable interrupting people again. Now things are fine. I’m not saying this is the perfect solution to your problem, but it’s definitely ONE solution.
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"I have this issue too, I think it also has to do a bit with cultural background sometimes." Completely agree. I'm not Hispanic, but I grew up in the south in a household where talking over each other was the norm. A different culture, but culture indeed. College is also where I learned this was considered bad practice / rude
> College is also where I learned this was considered bad practice / rude I think it's important to note that it is considered bad/rude in most american culture . Manners are relative to the culture you are living in. This style is certainly not rude in Cuban circles, for example. It's like how belching at a restaurant is rude in the US, but a sign of respect to the chef in Japan.
As a side note, when I notice these differences, I like to reason from first principles and decide if I should change my behavior (without completely alienating myself from my peers). A Japanese chef might consider my belch a sign of respect, but how respectful is it to the people around you eating? A gross smelling burp could make me loose my appetite completely.
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I had the same issue where I was always compelled to speak up if I felt like there was something important to be said... It really made me look like an a-hole. I asked a good friend of mine who was a successful CEO that people really listened to what his secret was... He said he stays quiet until people ask him for his opinion, then he makes sure what he says is succinct and on point as much as possible. That blew me…
This assumes that someone values your unknown (to them) opinion enough to ask for it.
These days a lot of people feel the need to be first and last to talk. This way, you're in the middle, but not overly invested in being heard, but choosing times when you speak, and choosing your words carefully for relevance, for best overall impact.
Eventually after a while of practicing this, people grow into the habit of looking forward to your input, and they always ask you for it, provided you don't screw up things too often.