31–40 of 48 posts
I hope this works out for you, I'm sure you'll make contact with some interesting people through here. I can't help but think that what you really need is real life contact though.
Good luck
Finding friends is such an odd thing. In college I had a million freshman year, but it seemed that every year the number dwindled, but those remaining were that much better. Now I'm in grad school and I only have like 3 friends, and I'm totally unsure as to how I would make more? I don't understand how people moving to new places make any at all. I'm also going to a school now that is more of a commuter school, so no…
I went through the "moving to a new place" experience a few months ago when I moved to Germany for 3 months. It was really odd, as it was the first time in my life when I really had to objectively think about how to make new friends.
And the best advice I can give about that is: DON'T go live on your own. At least not for the first few months. Go live with other people, particularly with people who value having a good vibe in the house, and not just living together to share expenses but never looking each other in the face (if you're going to Germany, look for "kein zweck WG" ;). You'll end up becoming friends with them, and meeting their friends that come over from time to time.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ironically, I go to a small Liberal Arts college. I think my experiences can happen anywhere. It's tough being a kid these days, making friends, and more importantly, keeping friends. I appreciate your comments, as well as everyone else's, very much! Thank you.
Yeah, especially if you don't drink alcohol. I've heard that around 24/25 is when people get over the novelty of it and start not caring about it as much. Maybe you can move to a country where nobody drinks. I can't think of one that isn't islamic although :( It's sad that people need alcohol to be 'drunk' (stupid, goofy and social), it's such a crutch. What I do is talk to random people on the street/mall/coffee sho…
Granted if you are sober, a really drunk person can be a pain. However, drunk people don't know you are sober, so you can banter away with them sober or not, but its difficult if you are shy I admit. Its 'just' a matter of putting yourself out there and doing it.
Other good places to meet people is at the gym - take circuits classes, join a sports club of some sort (tennis, biking, swimming, rock climbing ...).
I am pretty shy naturally, but I have met a ton of people at the swimming pool and on nights out (but I do drink a bit too much beer!).
Here is an excerpt from an essay I wrote after returning from a year abroad in China:
"The concept of 'foreignerism' is not unfamiliar to me. Though I have spent the majority of my life as a citizen and resident of the United States of America, I am, in many ways, suspended between two worlds. Long before I moved to China, I felt like a stranger in a strange land and I often yearned to find a place that I could truly feel at home. Then shortly after I had adjusted to life in Beijing, I found myself completely at ease. Looking back now, I have to wonder if I did actually find somewhere that I "fit in" or if rather, I finally became comfortable with the fact that I might never quite fit in anywhere."
I can send you (or anybody else) the rest of the essay if you would like. Just email me at m[at]gee.ky. However, all of my experiences in China leading up to this realization are chronicled on: http://www.middlefusion.com/
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ironically, I go to a small Liberal Arts college. I think my experiences can happen anywhere. It's tough being a kid these days, making friends, and more importantly, keeping friends. I appreciate your comments, as well as everyone else's, very much! Thank you.
Yeah, especially if you don't drink alcohol. I've heard that around 24/25 is when people get over the novelty of it and start not caring about it as much. Maybe you can move to a country where nobody drinks. I can't think of one that isn't islamic although :( It's sad that people need alcohol to be 'drunk' (stupid, goofy and social), it's such a crutch. What I do is talk to random people on the street/mall/coffee sho…
Finding friends is such an odd thing. In college I had a million freshman year, but it seemed that every year the number dwindled, but those remaining were that much better. Now I'm in grad school and I only have like 3 friends, and I'm totally unsure as to how I would make more? I don't understand how people moving to new places make any at all. I'm also going to a school now that is more of a commuter school, so no…
This is true. When you're a freshman you don't know anyone yet, but no one else knows anybody else either. So people are much more compelled to make friends. After a couple years your circle of friends kind of crystallizes, and those whom you don't know aren't that eager to stretch out of their little circles either. I went through the "moving to a new place" experience a few months ago when I moved to Germany for 3…
Our circle wasn't that we didn't let new people in, it was that people started graduating or whatever, and the circle got smaller without anyone to fill in the gaps. I guess that is because we didn't know anyone new, so we didn't have any "applicants" to join our circle of friends. I'm still convinced that all my problems here is because nobody walks here where I live. As soon as I can walk to other houses and cafes and bars, everything will get better.
It'd be an interesting sociological experiment to track the correlation between # of friends to distance walked per day.
It becomes much more likely that this kind of human interaction will have a big payoff for you if it includes a face-to-face meeting early in the interaction or friendship. Consequently, it would help people like me considering whether to take you up on your offer if you would say where you live. Particularly, I live in the northern part of San Francisco Bay area and almost never travel out of the Bay area, so I woul…
Meeting people on the internet is no substitute for honest-to-goodness human interaction. Also, it's a good idea to have lots of friends that you have nothing in common with. The perspective you get is invaluable.
Finding friends is such an odd thing. In college I had a million freshman year, but it seemed that every year the number dwindled, but those remaining were that much better. Now I'm in grad school and I only have like 3 friends, and I'm totally unsure as to how I would make more? I don't understand how people moving to new places make any at all. I'm also going to a school now that is more of a commuter school, so no…
This is true. When you're a freshman you don't know anyone yet, but no one else knows anybody else either. So people are much more compelled to make friends. After a couple years your circle of friends kind of crystallizes, and those whom you don't know aren't that eager to stretch out of their little circles either. I went through the "moving to a new place" experience a few months ago when I moved to Germany for 3…
I've graduated since and -- I'm fortunate -- things worked out for the better. But if I had it to do over again I almost certainly wouldn't transfer.