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Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#221

Post by wst_ »

Blackstone4 wrote: post #22

Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important. Check out this YouTube video titled: How to stop people from talking over you. https://youtu.be/ikAfrKf5A8I The YouTube channel Charisma on Command have a bunch of great videos on EQ.

I find it extremely rude and aggressive. It's like shoving people off the way with your elbows because there's a crowd in front off you.

I'd argue that much better way is to back off for a moment and try more diplomatic solution.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#222

Post by lwhi »

hinkley wrote: post #219
andrewcarter wrote: post #15

I have a problem cutting people off- I get way to excited about what I want to say and jump in. I really appreciate when people call me out and don't take it personally. I also try to work on it and try to help steer the conversation to other people who have been cut off when I see it happen. So IMO don't be afraid to politely just let someone know! If you don't feel comfortable during the meeting, maybe speak with t…

A lot of the time I’m like you, or I see that the person is starting a long train of thoughts based on a faulty premise... why would you let someone catastrophize or take everyone in a magic carpet ride that is based on bad information? But that is unfortunately not always why. Some people take a very, very long time to get to a point they’ve already telegraphed long before. In a conversation that’s about problem sol…

> But that is unfortunately not always why. Some people take a very, very long time to get to a point they’ve already telegraphed long before. In a conversation that’s about problem solving, this is wasting everybody’s time, and I will absolutely shove you out of the spotlight and without compunction. Daylight’s burning.

This is definitely part of my problem. I get excited; I can understand where a point is going; I get impatient, especially when I'm hearing it described in an overly verbose way.

However, I think I probably need to remember that it's worth hearing someone out. Ultimately the team might benefit, even though the problem might be solved at a slightly slower pace.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#225

Post by siphon22 »

enriquto wrote: post #224

Just produce exceptional work and let the loudmouths spend all day cutting each other. You'll soon get way ahead of them.

Sounds like the lie moms tells their meek sons about being nice gentlemen to get girls :( works until Chad tells your manager about how uncooperative you are for not participating in meetings with them so they get the impression that you don't contribute anything even if you do a lot of work. Chad gets promoted over you of course.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#226

Post by hawski »

solipsism wrote: post #99
segmondy wrote: post #87

Raise it with your manager, if it's peer's discussion then someone should moderate. When my team has meetings, I moderate. I make sure those remote get to speak first, and then I make sure no one is speaking for too long and call other's by name to add their ideas. If someone interrupts, I cut them off and tell the person that was speaking to continue.

Is there no sense of personal accountability at your company? Why can't your workers be trusted to take care of simple, everyday social problems like this? I don't like interrupters any more than the next person, but i consider myself an adult and want to work with adults -- I can't imagine needing a babysitter like this.

I would say it is all too common in most social situations. It's normal that people get overexcited. People should behave, but often do not. What one is supposed to do when it happens? Find a new job?

Do you also have opinion, that generally working with adults one does not need a manager or a superior? Managers manage people, they should manage meetings.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#227

Post by vfc1 »

Don't be naive into thinking that it's going to get any better, or that talking about it to someone will help in anything - it usually makes things worse that's the reality of it.

One simple way to reduce the frustration and make it more bearable for you is to send your point across by email to everyone involved later on that day, it works for me.

How bad is it? Maybe at your workplace is especially bad, if that is the case and it's bothering you, it's probably a good time to leave.

Some people think they know it all, can't shut up and are literally incapable of listening to others. Some people just think while they talk, feel the need to fill the blanks of conversations constantly, etc.

As long as you give your input or send your point across in whatever form, in person or by email at least you feel better for sure.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#229

Post by hawski »

It's on person organizing the meeting to moderate it. You can either talk with every person and try to change their ways, good luck with that. Or have more structure in meetings and that's what being manager is supposed to be about. I always roll my eyes, when there even is some structure in a meeting, but the organizing party does not really moderate the discussion.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#230

Post by hinkley »

SkyMarshal wrote: post #172

First, try reframing everything you have to say as a question. People like ones you describe tend to be more responsive to questions, it plays to their ego. So if someone makes a loud assertion you know is wrong, ask a series of leading questions like a trial lawyer would that takes them down the path of realizing it's wrong (or at least takes everyone else listening down that path). Second, check out the book The Ge…

Yes, but I can think of a few people who fit this bill who are incapable of hearing a question as a critique. They will happily answer the question and not change course in the slightest.
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