Start recording the meetings and splice all the interruptions into one giant outtake.
Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
51–60 of 311 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#52It’s unlikely to ever happen, but sometimes i dream about a working world where everyone had read and practiced using Robert’s Rules of Order
It can -- careers in areas such as governance, oversight, or committee work would likely provide that kind of atmosphere.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#53Pro tip from the gang at IBM: He who talks loudest is in charge.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#54Your problem is not that you are soft spoken, it is your confidence. Work on your confidence in general, there is enough advice on the web, if you are confident people will listen even if you whisper.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#55I have a problem cutting people off- I get way to excited about what I want to say and jump in. I really appreciate when people call me out and don't take it personally. I also try to work on it and try to help steer the conversation to other people who have been cut off when I see it happen. So IMO don't be afraid to politely just let someone know! If you don't feel comfortable during the meeting, maybe speak with t…
I do it too....and I hate it........ I'm trying to tackle it by writing it down and waiting for others to finish with some decent success.
I (rarely) do it too. What I realized is in most cases (if not all) it's all about spitting it out whatever is in my mind without any intention to listen to what others are trying to say and without thinking that I can learn so much from others.
Writing it down won't get you too far, imho. Because you probably still will be in rush just to read what you noted down and eventually miss the chance to learn from others. It's all about listening first.
There was a thread here on HN recently, titled "People with Greater Intellectual Humility Have Superior General Knowledge".[0] I think it's pretty relevant here in this topic. Intellectual humility goes a long way I'd say :-)
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#56Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important. Check out this YouTube video titled: How to stop people from talking over you. https://youtu.be/ikAfrKf5A8I The YouTube channel Charisma on Command have a bunch of great videos on EQ.
"Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important."
And after the two of you have talked over each other for a few seconds, they'll stop and say something like, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" You may think it's an invitation to explain what you were trying to say. It isn't.
And if you're like me, at this point of what I laughingly call my career, your best move is to shrug and walk off.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#57Well, 1, they could just be jerks. Or 2, they could have ADHD.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#58This is common to dysfunctional teams and poor management. While those who cut you off might be over excited, others might be plain rude or some might lack empathy, the job of a good manager is to ensure everyone’s voice is heard. Some really smart developers may lack the skill
of making their voice heard in such environments, as it happens with introverts or geeks often, and that’s where an experienced manager comes to play and makes sure people are allowed to finish their thoughts without bullyish or immature cutoffs from others.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#59I worked at a place like that. I wasn't even aware of the problem. It was just how things were. One day our director called a meeting and announced that our whole department had a serious issue with interrupting. He noted the results of interrupting each other (not hearing each other out, drifting off topic, just being seen by the rest of the company as jerks). He laid out a bunch of rules for meetings, discussions,…
Yup - thats experienced management on your director’s part. Kudos to him.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#60If you think it's a personal problem, I'd recommend going to the gym and starting a progressive weight-lifting program if you don't already. You'll build in confidence as you progress and get stronger, and that will spill into other areas of your life. It worked for me.