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When someone younger than me, in my field, is making more money / getting more acclaim / winning praise from people I respect, it makes me seethe. Sometimes I even waste my time looking for a way to invalidate them, to put an asterisk* on their success, so I can feel better about myself.
Does this happen to anyone else? What do you do about it?
This happens to pretty much everyone.
> What do you do about it?
Your options are:
Motivation: "If I learn to do the things s/he does, I can be more successful too."
Rationalization: "Well, if I had had the same opportunities s/he did, I'd have been just as successful. I did the best I could with what I had. And at least I'm still doing better than X, Y, and Z."
Indifference: "X is doing well? That's nice. Wonder what I should have for lunch today?"
I find I gravitate more towards the bottom of the list as I get older.
> Does this happen to anyone else? This happens to pretty much everyone. > What do you do about it? Your options are: Motivation: " If I learn to do the things s/he does, I can be more successful too. " Rationalization: " Well, if I had had the same opportunities s/he did, I'd have been just as successful. I did the best I could with what I had. And at least I'm still doing better than X, Y, and Z. " Indifference: "…
> Does this happen to anyone else? This happens to pretty much everyone. > What do you do about it? Your options are: Motivation: " If I learn to do the things s/he does, I can be more successful too. " Rationalization: " Well, if I had had the same opportunities s/he did, I'd have been just as successful. I did the best I could with what I had. And at least I'm still doing better than X, Y, and Z. " Indifference: "…
Material possessions and success are fun, but ultimately only generate fleeting happiness.
I have run my company for almost 20 years now and have seen many of my friends/acquaintances make 10 million+ in a much shorter time. Not that I dont wish I could have more money for less effort (in the same way that I wish I could play the guitar or speak multiple foreign languages). Yet Im very happy with my life as I understand clearly what makes me happy and dont let my happiness be defined by what someone else has done or has.
I'd say the key thing is that you've noticed the envy, which means that it can't control you -- not all the time.
Keep paying attention.
0) Remember that social media and the press shows the best parts of people's lives and rarely the crappy parts that everyone has.
1) You can't have it all. Often people sacrifice other parts of their lives to achieve in one area. My old boss that got promoted to a very high position never found a partner or children. Other tech friends who have earned a lot have worked thier whole lives and never went backpacking around the world like I did.
2) Some people have advantages. Eg Bill Gates was a millionaire before he even started college, many famous people had privileged upbringings.
3) Some people are just lucky. Maybe they were in the right place in the right time. I had a very wealthy friend who I never figured out why they spent so much or how they could afford such a big house and expensive vacations. Later I found out their father literally won the lottery, $50Mil - at the same time her sister has severe deformities from birth. Which brings to
4) Money and "Success" doesn't equal happiness. My wealthy friend would easily give it up to have a healthy happy sister. Taleb talks a lot about how suburbs filled with huge multi-million dollar houses are filled with bored lonely people.
5) You're probably much wealthier and have a better life than most people already. Remember >2Billion people don't have clean tap water they can drink. People are risking their lives so they can come to the US or Europe to work in construction or cook your meals in a restaurant.