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It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

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Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#101

Post by seventhtiger »

ravroid wrote: post #98
seventhtiger wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At a very low point of my life, I read a book that had an idea that tickled me out of it. In the first few pages the protagonist decides to end their own life. He is absolutely committed to ending it. Once the decision was made he realized that there is no longer any significant consequences to anything. So he will do whatever he wants until he eventually kills himself. In the end the adventure he went on helped him…

Could I ask the title of that book?

Lights Out In Wonderland

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#102

Post by puranjay »

superqd wrote: post #32
puranjay wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you ever seen the kind of backgrounds people who are frequently lauded in the media for being successful early come from? Most had some luxuries that you probably did not - wealthy parents, extensive training in their chosen field, etc. It's not always about talent. Knowing that your parents have millions allows you to think in a way someone struggling to pay rent can't. I wasn't able to think long-term and actu…

That is very true. I grew up relatively poor (we were the kids with literal holes in our shoes going to school, free lunch program, etc), and didn't get my first computer till I was 26. I didn't get it till I was 26 not because I couldn't afford it (I was the first in my extended family to go to college, and I got a physics degree), but because I was so used to not buying/having things cause that's how I grew up. Whe…

Heck, even a normal, happy family life is a massive advantage. Supportive parents and siblings impact your life choices and thinking so much.

So much of success literature focuses so much on skills or hard work when in reality, all these intangible and tangible factors are equally important

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#103

Post by circlefavshape »

badpun wrote: post #84
circlefavshape wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's nothing wrong with you - I'm guessing you just had, like most of us, a fantasy about shaking up the world somehow. Time to give up on the fantasy and engage with your actual real life instead

> There's nothing wrong with you - I'm guessing you just had, like most of us, a fantasy about shaking up the world somehow. That's a very interesting statement. Almost all people I know here in Poland, including myself, dream of having a life devoid of external pain, obligations, limitations etc., so that you can do whatever they choose to do. Rarely if ever anyone mentions anything about wanting to have a greater i…

By "us" I meant hacker news commenters. I'm not American

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#104

Post by circlefavshape »

rxhernandez wrote: post #73
circlefavshape wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's nothing wrong with you - I'm guessing you just had, like most of us, a fantasy about shaking up the world somehow. Time to give up on the fantasy and engage with your actual real life instead

Good god this is awful advice. There are plenty of people that have made their only great contributions to humanity in advanced age (not that late 30s is even remotely advanced). If you gave up on dreams, fine; but don't go on encouraging others to do the same just because you lack the drive and became complacent with giving up. Moreover, there are so many things that need doing that are plenty impactful and just req…

I'm surprised at the vehemence of your reaction, and don't really know where to begin responding, so I'll just pick out this sentence:

"Good god could you imagine the world if people stopped following their dreams so early in life"

I imagine it would be indistinguishable from the way it is now. I don't see that the world is built on "great contributions to humanity", just the slow layering of knowledge upon knowledge.

I'm glad you made yourself happier by applying yourself more diligently to your studies when you were in school, but "try harder" is not a helpful response to the parent comment. Almost none of us make any impact beyond our immediate social circle, and even if you do that impact will very quickly become indistinguishable from noise. You don't need to accept that, but it's true, and if you do accept it your life will be better

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#105

Post by boca »

sidcool wrote: post #47
tonymet wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

mind if I ask what changed?

I wish I could figure out. My best guesses are: 1. I am getting older and not doing anything remotely impactful. 2. People half my age know all the programming I know. I don't bring anything special to the table. 3. Is this what life is all about? Now, I don't say the problem is with the world. Something could be wrong with me. But damned if I know.

What has helped me is talking in person to someone who is close. Realized that sometimes I just need to vent my inner confusion and at other times I need them to shake me because I am living too much in my head.

Over time, I realized that this situation occurs because there's something that I must/need to do but I am procrastinating. That surfaces as anxiety and my mind ends up "translating" it into a spiritual discussion - all in my head - with questions like "is this life", "is this all"?

Expectations of self can be hard and confusing.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#106

Post by badpun »

circlefavshape wrote: post #103
badpun wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There's nothing wrong with you - I'm guessing you just had, like most of us, a fantasy about shaking up the world somehow. That's a very interesting statement. Almost all people I know here in Poland, including myself, dream of having a life devoid of external pain, obligations, limitations etc., so that you can do whatever they choose to do. Rarely if ever anyone mentions anything about wanting to have a greater i…

By "us" I meant hacker news commenters. I'm not American

Ah, that's different then. However, even among "us", I think there's a pretty big split among those who want to have an impact (which sometimes goes hand in hand with wanting to "be the kind of person who is impactful", i.e. being ego driven) and those who just want to learn and do things for its own sake. The Jobses and the Wozes if you will.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#107

Post by filoleg »

sireat wrote: post #100
rxhernandez wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good god this is awful advice. There are plenty of people that have made their only great contributions to humanity in advanced age (not that late 30s is even remotely advanced). If you gave up on dreams, fine; but don't go on encouraging others to do the same just because you lack the drive and became complacent with giving up. Moreover, there are so many things that need doing that are plenty impactful and just req…

It is pragmatic advice. “Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world.” If you are in your mid 40s you are not going to become great at something new to you (painting, quantum physics, chess, programming, etc etc). It is nice to dream of that, but it does not happen. You might become decent and contribute to society i…

>The one exception could be business success which indeed is possible even at a very late age

Business success and greatly contributing to the society in the way that most people dream of aren't mutually exclusive. You might not be the kind of person with a PhD who made a scientific breakthrough and finally developed a great self-driving car, but if you created a business that managed to achieve that same thing, I see no reason why it wouldn't count.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#108

Post by dgjrhgi »

sidcool wrote: post #34

Posts like these give me some hope. I am 37 and lost. The work and career which once brought pleasure now seems drudgery. The daily morning battle is: "Is it worth it?". There is no answer to the question.

Me too.Little less age but same feeling. Thinking if job/team change would help.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#109

Post by aiyodev »

That’s all well and good but I don’t see how having confidence will help. When you’re sitting in an interview being questioned why you’re 40 applying for an entry level position are you supposed to explain that they’re wrong for asking? Success is a function of social status and higher class people don’t have the setbacks you find on poor people’s resumes. You can waste years studying to be a software engineer and end up unemployed because you’re too old.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#110

Post by wishwish »

lanrh1836 wrote: post #5

This makes the wrong assumption that happiness comes with success. Success doesn’t bring happiness. If anything, being happy in the first place is what gives you a better chance at achieving success.

those who sell happiness are in the business of directing your life, so just be yourself.
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