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How much free time do you have?

erikrood.com

201–210 of 226 posts

Re: How much free time do you have?

#201
post #195
post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a couple other good answers here, and I think the ideas you’re suggesting are growing in the public consciousness. But I think it’s interesting to reflect on the idea of the job, in the US at least. Our entire economy and government and our social identity rests on the deeply ingrained idea of everyone going to work every day. Our healthcare system is still very heavily job centric, since most people who ha…

Those memes could be reduced by an equally conscious awareness of the value of the other parts of life. Health relies on good sleep, good diet, good social interactions, etc. work often hinders those.

Sure, you’re absolutely right. They could. And in small ways, that’s already happening. Lots of people on Facebook and Instagram post their food & vacations & friends. Work chatter on social networks is there but (perhaps?) not as prominent as pics and stories from work.

That said, I think it’s a mistake to underestimate how deeply ingrained work is in our culture, or to underestimate how hard it will be to change. People judge each other’s status by work and wealth, the education system is designed for careers both private and academic. The extremely pervasive beliefs that struggle and hard work are required for people to learn things well, and that competition is required for survival and optimal markets, and that good financial management skills only come from earned money, and that expertise only comes from years of experience, these are all part of the big burrito that jobs are part of. It’s a burrito that will be hard to take apart. Not impossible, but very hard. Jobs aren’t required for those ideas to be true, but today they are tightly wrapped together.

Re: How much free time do you have?

#202
post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because 40 hours a week are, if you remove vacations, holidays and sick leaves, on average roughly 4 hours per day. That's the amount tribal people work per day. There is no inherent human need to reduce that time further. As I said, people can already work for 30 or 20 hours per week. Why is it not enough for you if you stop working on Friday? Do you want 30 or 20 hours per week with equal pay? Then indeed you have…

> But then, less is produced That is obviously not true because of two things: 1. Machines take over and do work and create goods 2. Humans are more productive than they were before Here is a handy graph which I found googling https://www.researchgate.net/figure/A-graphical-representati...

Machines only compensate for humans to a certain extend because they are already used as much as possible. If humans work less then there is not the same output because there are no hidden opportunities where machines can do more work. I stick with my original point: If humans work less then there is less output.

We are more productive now, but that surplus is used to put a supercomputer into the hand of every person and new clothes to wear every other month. If people wouldn't buy that, then the increase in productivity could lead to less working hours.

Btw, as far as I understand your graph, it is not telling that we are more productive but that farms are more productive if they are bigger.

As far as I know, Western workers are just more productive because they assemble pre-made parts and the final value of the product is ascribed to them when in reality, they just profit from wage differences. That's not sustainable.

If that wage difference is ever closed then people will even get less for the same amount of work.

Re: How much free time do you have?

#203

Some feedback about the formula from a parent: The formula needs to account for the reality that with young children your "parental duties" expands to occupy all free time when kids are awake. And also shifts other chores into any free time slots when kids are asleep. Kids are asleep. Time to clean the kitchen, do the dishes, switch the laundry, cut some veggies for tomorrow's dinner, and then find somewhere softer t…

That's not really inevitable. It's a cultural norm that can be changed.

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/06/09/6169288...

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/09/01/6412662...

Re: How much free time do you have?

#204
post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, as a dad of 2 kids under 4, I ended up having negative free hours. I put 54 hours of parenting a week, because it is non stop on the weekends for about 12 hours a day, and 5 hours or so on weekdays (getting them up and ready for daycare in the morning, then playing, feeding and putting them down at night.) I do get some chores done during that time, which is probably how I am able to exist with what ends up bei…

I live in Tanzania and here any kid that is above the age of 2 has free rein to go wherever they want. Maybe it's not a better way (though I suspect it is), but it is certainly easier (assuming you don't have 8 children like most people here though).

I imagine the community dynamic is entirely different there, as well as the physical dangers. I cannot let my 3 year old run around Manhattan on her own; she'd get hit by a car or a bike, or get on a bus and disappear somewhere into Brooklyn, or fall into the subway tracks.

Re: How much free time do you have?

#205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is little evidence that feeding and activating your kid is helping them? Homework? There's little evidence that your kid ought to do their homework? Or did you zero in on the screen-time statement and really meant that there's not much evidence as to how damaging screen-time is for a kid?

Making meals for the kids can be done at the same time as making meals for yourself, no extra time spent there unless you make exceptions for them. No need to activate the kid, kids can entertain themselves if you let them. Helping them with homework is not important, no, you can tell them to do their homework but that doesn't take a lot of time to do. The thing is that you as a parent has extremely small influence o…

Do you have kids? This all sounds like it's written by someone who's read articles about how to parent and nodded along, without any practical experience. Specifically, by someone who envisions the "happy path" of parenting, without considering that sometimes kids throw tantrums, sometimes they're not content to entertain themselves, that sometimes you cannot make them the same meal you make for yourself.

> Your goal should be to provide a stress free environment they can feel safe in, you do that by not stressing about all of these things, everything else you do for your kid is for your own sake.

This is a huge load of baloney. This zen "let the kids discover things on their own!" maybe works fine for high school students, but my toddler is fascinated by many things about the world, and my wife and I are a vast source of information about it, and rightfully so. Kids are chock full of questions because they're trying to learn about the world, and many of their questions cannot be answered sufficiently with a "go find out".

Re: How much free time do you have?

#206
post #13

I don't know if that's how free time works once you have kids. "Parental duties" takes the free time. You get some time when the kids sleep.

I know it's not intentional, but when I scrolled down and saw "parental duties" at the bottom of the list I laughed and said to myself "that's not how this works!". Move that one to the top, above sleep even, when the kids are young. Feature request for the calculator: if you say you have kids, it asks you what time they are in bed and asleep by and what time you try to go to bed: this window of time is now your chor…

To be fair, a "lifehack" is that once the kids are old enough (~1? 2? Depends on the kid and the couple) at least one night a week should be a solo night for a parent, while the other one gets the night off. Bonus points for having a weekly babysitter (or grandparent) for date night.

Re: How much free time do you have?

#207
post #5

Really depressing. Between work, long commute, gym, and part-time grad school, I have 18 free hours a week out of 168. Makes me wonder what the hell I am doing when I have other hobbies that I would love to be pursuing. Most of the time I simply don't have the mental energy to pursue much of anything in my 18 free hours. Sometimes I just need to turn my brain off. I find myself to lash out in weird ways when I am par…

Onr of the recurring points I saw here was people with 60+minute commutes bring the most jaded - would you consider moving?

As soon as you get kids, moving gets to be more complicated. I don't want to uproot my child when she's rooted so well at this school.

Re: How much free time do you have?

#208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I try to make it a point to do all the chores when the kids are awake. When they are asleep is time to relax; not do mundane tasks I don't feel it's my duty to entertain my kinds every waking hour, so if they have to settle with watching me fold the laundry or unload the dishwasher, so be it. This probably won't win me the father-of-the-year award, and it is parenting-style me and my girlfriend don't always agree abo…

People often ask my wife and I how we manage to raise our 4 daughters, and homeschool the 3 school-aged ones. The assumption is that it must be a ton of work. The key to making this work is our parenting style. We promote autonomy _a lot_. For example, my youngest was eating on her own at ~10-11 months. Sure, she was making a mess at first, but now she's 1.5 yrs and she's pretty good at this. Then you see the "exhaus…

Is there a book or reference for that kind of parenting?

Re: How much free time do you have?

#209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Onr of the recurring points I saw here was people with 60+minute commutes bring the most jaded - would you consider moving?

As soon as you get kids, moving gets to be more complicated. I don't want to uproot my child when she's rooted so well at this school.

That's a very fair point - I don't have kids and didn't consider that. Another option to consider would be changing job to reduce the commute? There seems to be a link between commute time and general unhappiness in this thread, and nobody seems to consider shortening their commutes really.

Re: How much free time do you have?

#210
post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The trick seems to be to identify your various different out-of-energy states and what activity is consistently restorative for each. Then, get experience with those activities when you’re fresh so that you have less of a hurdle to jump over when you really need them. The biggest issue, of course, is that it requires you to experiment with new things when you’re dead tired in order to figure out what helps in the fir…

I think there are two problems. Tiredness and boredom. TV's sweet spot is when you are mildly bored and pretty tired. It tires you even more but alleviates boredom a bit. I had after-school routine. When I was comming back from school I was bored and tired but too bored and not tired enough to go to sleep immediately. So I watched TV for an hour or two becomming slightly less bored and completely tired. After that I…

Being tired ("I don't have the mental or physical energy to do engaging things") and sleepy ("I want to sleep") are completely different things.
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