Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#1

Post by pfzero » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 8:55 AM UTC

I often find myself trying to do many things and often times I end up just procrastinating. This creates a negative feedback loop and I'm wondering how do you manage your time to achieve things.

As a list of things I'm trying to constantly do:

1. Write a personal journal / meditate / exercise. 2. Read (as per on a reading list of books) 3. Work 5. Study (learning / improving my general CS skills, frontend skills, etc.) 6. Maintain a healthy relationship 7. Socialize

I'm trying to organize myself to wake up @6am and go through journaling > meditating > work > exercise or read. However, I often find out I'm kind of overwhelmed or I can't spend qualitative time in my relationship / don't have time to do other chores.

Are you in a similar situation? What are your coping strategies to work things out?

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#2

Post by dalleh » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 9:30 AM UTC

I am in a almost identical situation (except the journal part :D ). Although I haven't applied any solution, yet, I think the problem (at least for me) is the fact that I try to do everything of every item. I think the following would help: 1. Wake up early every day of the. You might compensate for a small nap mid-day. 2. Have work days to do your reading, learning, exercise and have the weekends for your relationship and socializing. 3. Calculate how much hours you have on your work days and exploit them as much as possible. 4. From time to time, do something to rest your mind: trip, travel, etc. 5. Focus on something specific in every item.

Bottom line, organize yourself, have a schedule and commit to it.

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#3

Post by lm28469 » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 10:58 AM UTC

If you work full time You might not be able to manage all these things in a satisfactory way.

First make sure you have sane foundations: enough sleep + exercise + proper diet.

Then experiment and see what sticks. I find it easier to meditate right after I wake up and take a shower, I also manage to do 10-15 min of stretches/yoga.

Reading is the perfect pre bed activity, dim the lights, make some tea, read until you're too tired to continue.

I also found that some activities are just not a fit for me. Maybe you like the idea of, let's say, journaling, but in practice you don't like it = you procrastinate to avoid doing it. Focus on what you truly enjoy doing and build habits from here.

> I'm kind of overwhelmed or I can't spend qualitative time in my relationship / don't have time to do other chores.

It's also a matter of expectations, you can't do 10 things and excel in all of them. You can't watch all the new Netflix shows, meditate one hour a day, learn to be a professional guitar player, &c. while working full time and having a kid. Pick your battle(s).

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#4

Post by RaceWon » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 11:17 AM UTC

Pick the one thing you are obsessive about, and then blend in the things that aid your great obsession. Some days you'll do more than others, you need a long term view; some things take years and years to achieve.

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#5

Post by jefurii » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 11:18 AM UTC

First step: come to terms with the fact that you cannot do everything that you want to do.

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#6

Post by chris5745 » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 11:46 AM UTC

If you procrastinate because you feel overwhelmed, it may help to start with meditation and the bare essentials of the other items. That way you can work on aligning the part of your mind which seeks to accomplish these things (manager) with the part that actually does the work (laborer). You may find that the manager needs to lower its expectations while the laborer needs fewer tasks in order to do a good job at the tasks it is given.

Anecdotally, I’ve found that intrinsic motivation is more effective than extrinsic motivation. If you’re trying to keep up with someone else, question or examine that.

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#7

Post by david-gpu » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 12:07 PM UTC

Ask yourself why on the one hand you are "trying to do" those things, and yet at the same time you find excuses to procrastinate. Are these things you truly want to do, or things you believe you "should" be doing? In other words, are these passions or duties?

If they are self-imposed duties, ask yourself how important are they, truly. What would happen if you didn't do each of them? How bad would it be? If it's really bad, that's your motivation for doing them, and next time you want to procrastinate you can remind yourself of that reason.

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#8

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Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#9

Post by kd5bjo » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 1:08 PM UTC

I’ve found that tending to my emotional state will make the important stuff get done, because I naturally focus on it. Procrastination, for me, is usually either a mismatch between what my conscious and subconscious believe to be important or fear of doing something unfamiliar.

Re: Ask HN: How do you maintain balance between all the things you want to do?

#10

Post by superasn » Sat, Jul 06, 2019, 1:51 PM UTC

The thing bugging you is what David burns calls a "shouldy approach to life". It's a common trap which can cause misery and unhappiness. I think his book feeling good can help you or Maybe googling the term may also give you so relevant results