Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people • Hacker News Board

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#61

Post by mapcars » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 1:43 PM UTC

Loneliness is based on a feeling of disconnectedness, but what are you disconnected from? Please see you cannot be alive and disconnected, you are always connected to the rest of the universe.

Does it mean you always have people you are comfortable with who are saying nice things to you? No, everyone has it's own life, views, interests and it's entirely possible no one around you shares yours. So what, people are different.

I think society puts too much stress on it that everyone has to have a bunch of friends, fellows, do birthday parties, shopping and whatever is fashionable in that place. And people who don't have it at some point in life get stressed.

On the other hand, being alone means guess what? Freedom - you don't have to belong anymore, you don't have to share opinions or views, you don't have to fit someone's "standards". You can go and do what you want without having to share time and energy with others. It's a great thing many glorify, talk about and complain about not having it. But if they get it most people freak out and turn the possibility into a problem.

In other words, if one finds himself in this position it's a personal choice to be free or be lonely.

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#62

Post by slx26 » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 2:05 PM UTC

vermarish wrote: post #5

ikeyany wrote: post #2

It sounds like they're tackling isolation, not loneliness. There is a vital distinction between the two.

For clarification, I assume the opposite of isolation would be connectedness? And what would be the opposite of loneliness?

belongingness (fulfilled) ?

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#63

Post by scirocco » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 2:44 PM UTC

This highlights why golf is such a great sport. Four hours of emotional rollercoaster spent in nature your friends (or other members at your club you just happen to go the round with).

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#64

Post by pault » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 3:12 PM UTC

zx321 wrote: post #21

dijit wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For some of us IRC never went away. It’s my primary social outlet, and I’m closing in on 30. Maybe I’m a bit special as I moved countries a fair bit in my 20s, and making friends in adulthood is difficult. Shameless plug; if you want to join us (we are roughly 400 people) then the network is ircs://irc.drk.sc:6697/#darkscience

Please be careful! Posting links to these kind of small communities on much larger ones has a way of diluting what makes them so great in the first place - or at least severely irritating the regulars.

One of the saving graces of IRC is that the technical barriers to using it (compared to discord, etc) are high enough to keep out the riff raff.

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#65

Post by ikeyany » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 3:14 PM UTC

jmartinpetersen wrote: post #4

ikeyany wrote: post #2

It sounds like they're tackling isolation, not loneliness. There is a vital distinction between the two.

I would assume that it's rather difficult to help loneliness in isolated individuals?

Isolation as a problem is a big deal and worth addressing.

However, the most lonely people I've met are those who have no problem finding other people to be around.

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#66

Post by pault » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 3:16 PM UTC

zwaps wrote: post #37

vmarius wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree that real face to face connection is the best for many cases, but is a luxury nowadays and doesn't work for all.

Yeah and this group tries to make it less of a luxury and more of a regular thing. Thats is what we should strive for. I really do think that our body has a different physical reaction to being close with others. We are monkeys, basically. Lonely monkeys dont do well.

100%. There are many biological processes that create bonding through physical proximity and touch. You may make great friends online but the physical component can't be ignored.

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#67

Post by dijit » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 3:18 PM UTC

pault wrote: post #64

zx321 wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please be careful! Posting links to these kind of small communities on much larger ones has a way of diluting what makes them so great in the first place - or at least severely irritating the regulars.

One of the saving graces of IRC is that the technical barriers to using it (compared to discord, etc) are high enough to keep out the riff raff.

As much as I love IRC, and as much truth as there is here. I can’t help but feel it’s quite elitist to put it this way.

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#68

Post by pault » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 3:22 PM UTC

tokai wrote: post #54

cybersnowflake wrote: post #7

loneliness is a much bigger problem for older people. why not start there?

Well you are wrong. People between 65-79 years are the least lonely cohort in Denmark. People over 85 are as lonely as the 19 to 29 year olds.[0] [0] https://www.maryfonden.dk/da/presse-ensom-befolkning

Maybe GP means older as middle aged. I'm 40, moved countries four times in the last ten years, and after moving back to the US three years ago I haven't made a single friend. Since I was able to make many friends elsewhere I place some of the blame on American culture, but a lot of it is simply that people over 35 are settled in their ways and don't go out much.

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#69

Post by ggg2 » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 3:22 PM UTC

Razengan wrote: post #43

helloindia wrote: post #36

> As a loner, I avoid this by making sure I walk 10,000 steps a day. I go for walk in a nearby park, morning and evening, each 45 minutes. I also use this time, to catch up on music, podcast or anything I can listen to.

> As a loner, I avoid this by making sure I walk 10,000 steps a day. Can't recommend this enough, though you need to be in a "walkable" enough city. It's one of the best breaks you can take especially if you sit at a desk most of the day. I love discovering urban nooks and crannies that I would miss if I took a car or train. The Apple Watch or any other tracker that can map your route etc. can help with that a lot.

what do you mean walkable city? a walkable city you do 10k steps without even noticing! a US city that is not NY or boston in summer you have to drive to a park/beach like you would to a gym, do your steps and drive back home.

Re: Ventilen, a Danish organization to address loneliness in young people

#70

Post by ggg2 » Fri, Jul 05, 2019, 3:25 PM UTC

jacobush wrote: post #40

Svip wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think a more appropriate translation would be 'friend for one', as it can be read as an offer. »Ven til en« is obviously an unusual way of phrasing it, but replace »ven« with any commodity you can purchase, then it sounds more like an offer (a free one, that is). That being said, 'friend of one' is definitely an accurate translation as well. And 'friend to one' is just the literal translation. I wonder how they pro…

Ok I'm Swedish, but my reading is "friend of someone" combined with "friend of you". It's hard to explain but it holds these 2 meanings very closely. Plus the pun of "valve" in the same word, which is also fitting, for letting out steam. Besides it sounds great in English. Sounds like a new expensive drug. Imagine the TV commercial: "Contact your doctor to learn if Ventilen is for you. May cause hair loss, liver fail…

but do you still think of "friend to one/you/someone" when it is spoken "ventilen" as one word?