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Assholes: A Probing Examination

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Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#101

Post by wozmirek »

d--b wrote: post #98
wozmirek wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Interesting bit about the 18 interviews. While your company sounds like something really cool, I'd probably not go through all those interviews unless a) they're brief and we move through them quickly (like, in Regarding c) - 18 interviews, each taking at least 30 minutes (screening would be 15 on average but other would make up for it), that's roughly 9 full hours of my very own time, if not more.

I had one quick phone screening, then 2-3 hours on Skype, then they flew me over for a full day of interviews. the whole thing was less than a month.

Ah, so by 18 interviews you also meant e.g. 8 interviews during a full day? For some reason I thought it was spaced out, like you had 18 calls :D

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#102

Post by mathieuh »

harryf wrote: post #99
colechristensen wrote: post #77

Hello, my name is Cole and I can be an asshole. The definition posted of an asshole casts a very wide net making discussion difficult. Diversity is important and it isn't just about sex and skin color. People act differently, people have different priorities, confidence varies, life situations outside of work alters behavior as do medical conditions and treatments. Different cultures even in this country value vastly…

Oh and the other thing I didn't see anyone address is teaching "victims" the right Ju-Jitsu for dealing with (intentional) assholes / bullying - the mindset of don't let anyone make you a victim. I had the "good fortune" of having an internship years ago with a tyrant. This person loved publicly shaming the interns, among a whole bunch of other toxic behaviour, continual needling etc. etc. Their life was a mess, marr…

This is just complete passive aggressiveness... just tell them to piss off (or some variation thereof), no need to do all this weird sarcastic stuff

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#103

Post by d--b »

DyslexicAtheist wrote: post #95
d--b wrote: post #87

I work for a company where the CEO has specifically implemented a "no-asshole strategy" from the start. He too talked about the "asshole effect" that causes companies to fall apart. Hire one asshole, and everybody eventually turns into an asshole. Results: the company is only nice guys, and it feels so good. Sure we occasionally hire the asshole. But they're rooted out fairly quickly. How to keep assholes at bay: 1.…

sounds like your boss builds a company on the assumption that people can never change. From my experience if you have a strong team with good core values it's easy to absorb and change / condition the behavior of the odd outlier. In fact that outlier will realize that they need to adapt to the new environment (and when they do you have changed that person's outlook and maybe even their mental health and insecurities)…

This is wishful thinking. Bullies may be victim of their own insecurities, but they're not that easy to change.

Would you hire someone who you know is an open racist, just because he can be converted?

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#104

Post by d--b »

wozmirek wrote: post #101
d--b wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had one quick phone screening, then 2-3 hours on Skype, then they flew me over for a full day of interviews. the whole thing was less than a month.

Ah, so by 18 interviews you also meant e.g. 8 interviews during a full day? For some reason I thought it was spaced out, like you had 18 calls :D

yes, I met almost everyone in the company over a single day. Some guys I talked to several times.

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#105

Post by ptx »

sz4kerto wrote: post #54
NoodleIncident wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a straightforward list of specific behaviors early in the article. None of it is defined by how anyone else feels; that's just the effect of someone who engages in that asshole behavior on a regular basis. The next comment down and probably half of the readers are trying to figure out if they're the asshole themselves, so I don't know where you got the idea that "you" are never the asshole. (Sure is great ho…

I'm somewhat satirical of course. However: "Here’s a simple test: if someone walks away from another person feeling bad about themselves, they were probably interacting with an asshole." I'll tell you that eg as manager there is no way that some of your conversations won't end with the other person feeling somewhat bad about themselves. You have to fire people. You have to explain that some behavior was clearly wrong…

Most conversations are (hopefully) not about firing the other person, unless the company is rapidly imploding. I think this is an implicit precondition of the test – it's about unnecessarily making someone feel bad, on the assumption that most conversations are not of the sort where the message to be communicated is inherently and necessarily bad news.

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#106

Post by Dr_Dee »

jonathanstrange wrote: post #80

I checked how this test fares in Academia my country (I won't mention its name) and there seems to be a surprising number of assholes here. I'm even suspecting that I might be one. > Insulting or degrading individuals or groups Every boss in my country does this from time to time. -1 > Joking and teasing to belittle others My British colleagues do that, but otherwise it's rare. +1 > Tersely worded group e-mails that…

Once I had to call a Spanish academic about a payment to a software he wrote; we needed that software badly so instead of exchanging email, we called the 'professor' and had a conversation. Never in my life did I ever experienced a person who was so full of smugness and self-rightouness. So, I guess that southern european country is Spain because I have heard stories from people who worked there that Spanish can be quite a bunch of a@@holes. Is that right?

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#107

Post by accatyyc »

Hamuko wrote: post #93
glangdale wrote: post #59

This article is overly fixated on overt assholery. Much of the worst asshole behavior I've encountered has been done by people who are outwardly polite and high functioning and have often never had a cross word for anyone. I would much rather get a tersely worded group email (ooo) than have to do someone else's job for them. Let's be frank. The #1 asshole thing not mentioned here is (shouting and swearing alert) NOT…

>Let's be frank. The #1 asshole thing not mentioned here is (shouting and swearing alert) NOT DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB. This is an immense source of frustration for other people, whether because they have to do the person's job for them, or because the person's failure to do their job creates disasters. One additional problem that I have with this: I feel like the asshole in this situation. I recall one instance where…

Why would informing people about the importance of testing make you look like an asshole? You could do it in a polite and helpful way, instead of being an asshole about it.

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#108

Post by fasteo »

Offtopic.

Slang for "asshole" in Spanish is "capullo" or "gilipollas". Originally, these words described a dumb,candid,innocent person, but nowadays they are used to refer to "smart assholes".

"listillo" is another word for "smart asshole" that I like. Literally, it means "little smart person". Diminutive of the word "listo" (smart)

"enterao" is yet another word for "smart asshole". It is a contraction of "enterado", a person that knows about everything.

Sorry for the interlude.

(*) By the OP standard, I am an asshole.

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#109

Post by w1nst0nsm1th »

colechristensen wrote: post #77

Hello, my name is Cole and I can be an asshole. The definition posted of an asshole casts a very wide net making discussion difficult. Diversity is important and it isn't just about sex and skin color. People act differently, people have different priorities, confidence varies, life situations outside of work alters behavior as do medical conditions and treatments. Different cultures even in this country value vastly…

Psychopath are by definition assholes. They account for 1%-3% of the population. Narcissists are another category of assholes that account for 1% of the population.

There is no ambiguity these people create toxic workplace.

There is no ambiguity in a harrasment situation.

Re: Assholes: A Probing Examination

#110

Post by Y_Y »

sdrothrock wrote: post #39
klenwell wrote: post #7

> Asshole behavior begets additional asshole behavior from others. Non-assholes are hardened into assholes over time to survive, and a spiral of incivility reigns. I've been infected by this before. Never again. (I prefer to slap up so I ended up getting shown the door.) Before we go through a hiring round with my team nowadays, I like us to review what I've seen approvingly referred to over on Metafilter as The Babo…

> I prefer to slap up so I ended up getting shown the door. What does "slap up" mean?

Usually it refers to a kind of meal. I think in this context it's like "punching up/down" as in taking out your frustration on superiors.
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