Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#21

Post by idoubtit » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:49 AM UTC

I'm surprised existential crisis is not a common phenomena. Life has no meaning, no purpose. "I saw all the deeds that are done under the sun; and see, all is vanity and a chasing after wind." (Qohelet, in the Bible, about 2300 years ago).

So why live? In my case, I examined my options. Purposely dying (including taking extreme risk while mountain climbing, etc) is not an option for now, because it would cause intense suffering for a few people I love. So I have to live on. I don't want to fake exaltation and fill my life with extraordinary activities. It's now hard to find pleasure in novelty: after reading thousands of novels, surprising books are seldom, and the same law applies to music, and most activities, including human interactions. Sometimes I'm just waiting for time to pass. But there's still a bit of feelings and pleasure to be found in the daily blunt life.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#22

Post by tasuki » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:50 AM UTC

abdussamit wrote: post #15

Yes. Still hits me from time to time, but it mostly happened between when I was 21-24 y/o. I don't know why it happens man, it occurred to me whenever I was faced with a deep-rooted issue, an issue that got me exhausted or worried. For example, one of my colleagues, a new hire, died in an accident 4 days into his new job. It got me thinking why do we even exist, why do we die, why were we sent here? Or when I was bor…

> what am I doing? Why do I even exist? What's the goal?

> I'm a Muslim

I always thought the most attractive thing about religions was that they resolve exactly these questions. Guess it's not so simple.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#23

Post by preid24 » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:54 AM UTC

Every morning when I do a standup.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#24

Post by agurk » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:55 AM UTC

I hit a very low point on Friday feeling a lack of meaning in my life. One thing that really helped was having a friend who I could phone and they would just listen.

If someone's at a bridge, and phones up the number on the sign for a suicide hotline they'll say something like "I'm going to jump off". The wrong response to this is "Don't do it" or give reasons why it's a bad idea. The correct response is "Why?"

It's taken me a long time to end up with a friend who's matured enough to take themselves out of the situation, so that when I phone them up they'll listen and not give me advice and tell me what to/not to do. If the conversation progresses enough, or I ask for advice then my friend might give some as advice does have its place. The trick is knowing where that is.

This is of course what a (good) therapist is trained to do, so if you feel there's no-one you can phone up it's an option to explore.

The psychological concept of resilience[0] may also be something that's worth exploring, if you want to understand how people cope with bad situations.

[0] https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#25

Post by robbiep » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:56 AM UTC

idoubtit wrote: post #21

I'm surprised existential crisis is not a common phenomena. Life has no meaning, no purpose. "I saw all the deeds that are done under the sun; and see, all is vanity and a chasing after wind." (Qohelet, in the Bible, about 2300 years ago). So why live? In my case, I examined my options. Purposely dying (including taking extreme risk while mountain climbing, etc) is not an option for now, because it would cause intens…

It has meaning if you think it has meaning, it doesn't if you don't think it does. You say it has no meaning but then you say you won't end your life because it will cause suffering for people you love. So immediately it has at least one purpose - not to un-necessarily cause suffering to those you love; and meaning through that as well

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#26

Post by tasuki » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:56 AM UTC

vassy wrote: post #7

Had one a few years ago and I became a nihilist because I couldn't really find a purpose for my existence. I'm not as ambitious when it comes to work. Switched to contacting as a 9 to 5 job and don't touch programming outside of that. I spend more time with family and friends, going to the gym and doing sports, traveling more.

> more time with family and friends, going to the gym and doing sports, traveling more

Sounds like a good life. I've seen nihilists who are equanimous (like you appear), and ones who seem rather depressed. I can see how nihilism can lead to either of these outcomes, and wonder what the differentiating factor is.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#27

Post by H8crilA » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:57 AM UTC

irjustin wrote: post #5

sghiassy wrote: post #2

What is the definition of ‘existential crisis’ in this context?

I imagine it's the overwhelming feeling of "why am i here/why do i exists/what is my purpose in life/what is the meaning of it all?" For me personally, it's usually a passing feeling, but once every few years it grows into a multi-day/week long feeling that borders on depression. Why do I have to work? What am I toiling for? When I die, who cares? Everyone who's died before me - who cares? Those who lived a good, luc…

Why should life have any meaning at all? What's the meaning of the life of a squirrel or a Google search query? I'm seriously asking. I found those questions to be ill founded (something like the theme of Tarski's undefinability theorem/liar's paradox/the halting problem).

Like really why would you expect it to have any meaning at all? That is pretty grandiose. We're just (unprecedentedly) sophisticated naked apes.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#28

Post by kodz4 » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:58 AM UTC

Doesn't matter what type of crisis it is, just remember you have a Choice in what your mind Focuses on. Remind yourself of that Choice. Have a list of things you can switch focus too - music, going for a run, helping a friend out, planning a trip etc etc.

When people don't handle crisis well, it's usually a sign they aren't able to switch focus to something else because they don't have something/anything to switch focus too.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#29

Post by plutonorm » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 7:59 AM UTC

Always. Since I was 10years old, I've battled with the knowledge that life has no intrinsic meaning. Sometimes I break free for a few years, but it always comes back around. I'm 38 now and I don't see myself being able to come up with a convincing reason to live anytime soon. I mostly feel empty or sometimes I bubble over with rage, or deep sadness. Sometimes something interesting will catch my eye and I can become involved with it for a time, but I'm not sure I actually enjoy the process. I think perhaps, for me, all the things I want are out of reach. I'm transgender but could never transition. I was fascinated with physics and philosophy, but had untreated ADHD and could never manage to apply my decent intellect to doing well in academia. I don't have any family, never did. My mum died when I was a baby and my father is an abusive alcoholic and couldn't love me. I've tried every drug going, nothing works. I'm empty inside and the world is just as empty. And the world is so cruel, brutal. Not just to me, but to everyone and people are so cruel and arrogant and empty. I want to reach out and save the world, to take away it's pain, but there is nothing anyone can do. It's all just fucked and often I wish I hadn't been born. Also I hate my career and am so lonely working alone all the time. And IT people just don't suit me, I'm just not like them. So maybe the existential depression is just an expression of my own misery and loss of purpose. Also 3 years of therapy did squat.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

#30

Post by colechristensen » Wed, Jul 03, 2019, 8:00 AM UTC

omarchowdhury wrote: post #17

colechristensen wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For a while when I was younger I didn't experience hunger very often, I had existential crises instead. It was a bit ridiculous, the world would start crashing down around me, everything about my life would become terrible, unbearable burden... and then I would get to wondering about how long it had been since my last meal. A few bites into the subsequent sandwich and everything was back to normal. Now I just get fog…

That sounds like the symptoms of low blood sugar.

A retelling:

When I was younger the way I experienced low blood sugar from neglecting to eat was a lot more interesting.