Live data from Hacker News

I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

nytimes.com

291–300 of 358 posts

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#291

The title should have been "I've picked getting unjustfully condemned people out of prison, over my kids". It would make 2/3 of the comments irrelevant. Prioritizing a more "normal" job over raising own kids is a very different subject.

That's a good observation. Titles determine discussion to an amazing extent.

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#292
It is hard to say from the article what kind of relationship author realy has with her kids. She seems to feel guilty, focusing on low moments. For some people the amount of time spent with family counts, others factor in the "intensity" as well.

Her comment about playing the advantage by choosing early date is a bit worring.

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#293
I have a lot of respect for the author for writing this. I think anyone who has kids and also cares about their work finds themselves on this spectrum, and they have to decide where they’re going to live on that spectrum. I’m further in the direction of kids than the author probably is, but I’m also not freeing wrongly convicted criminals. In any case, I’m very reluctant to judge another parent’s choice of how to juggle work and family.

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#294
post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How does she know they are innocent if she is actively sabotaging the state's efforts research and prepare the evidence?

Why do you suspect she acted in bad faith, and assume that the state is acting in good faith? It seemed rather strongly arguable that 1) she takes cases she is passionate about 2) she seems to deal with cases where the state was abusive.

It isn't an assumption, it is what she clearly stated: "because I knew that the other side wasn’t ready".

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'd be fascinated to see a historical account of that. Well, not a hard-source, but having been alive in the 90's most women didn't consider themselves feminists in the 90s. And if pressed they'd say things like "I believe in equality but I wouldn't call myself a feminist." Anecdotally, there was a perception that those who most loudly and immediately identified themselves as "feminist" (not unlike those who most l…

Maybe because there was oppression/unfairness everywhere? Where not being sexually assaulted at work was a rare privilege?

Yeah, except there wasn't.

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#296

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Daycare is not only great fun for the kids - playing with their peers is fun - it's also fantastic for their development. We have an excellent daycare. My daughter spends three days a week crafting, playing outside with kids, baking, doing make-up etc. The carers have skills that I don't have and my kids get to enjoy that. We both work four days a week so the kids get lots of parent time and we get a bit of a rest fr…

I’m fortunate enough to live in Iceland so both my kids got a place in a state kindergarten (leikskoli) from 18 months. Having seen the care and attention they pay to the development of kids I honestly don’t know why this isn’t more common outside of Nordic countries. Particularly with modern societal expectations on parents and the future of society being entirely dependent on the effort it put into its future citiz…

Being Norwegian, I've found that quite a few Icelandic words are just brilliantly descriptive.

I just learned another one; leikskoli. Beats our 'barnehage' for kindergarten, that's for sure!

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#297
post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>They still suffer far more You're creating a false dichotomy by claiming women suffer more from physical violence from men. History and context are important for understanding reality as a whole (as best as we can). In all honesty we should be framing these issues as human problems. Creating false dichotomies, dividing men against women, and then trying to play victim olympics under false pretenses is disingenuous n…

And you're selectively quoting me. I did not say "women suffer far more", I said "women suffer more from violence by men than vice versa". If you're going to debate a quote at least be honest about it. Framing things as human problems is a lovely concept, but disparities exist. Ignoring them by labeling them a "false dichotomy" and talking about "victim olympics" does not help solve any issues. You can't solve an iss…

[deleted]

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#298
post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>They still suffer far more You're creating a false dichotomy by claiming women suffer more from physical violence from men. History and context are important for understanding reality as a whole (as best as we can). In all honesty we should be framing these issues as human problems. Creating false dichotomies, dividing men against women, and then trying to play victim olympics under false pretenses is disingenuous n…

And you're selectively quoting me. I did not say "women suffer far more", I said "women suffer more from violence by men than vice versa". If you're going to debate a quote at least be honest about it. Framing things as human problems is a lovely concept, but disparities exist. Ignoring them by labeling them a "false dichotomy" and talking about "victim olympics" does not help solve any issues. You can't solve an iss…

[deleted]

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#299
post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>They still suffer far more You're creating a false dichotomy by claiming women suffer more from physical violence from men. History and context are important for understanding reality as a whole (as best as we can). In all honesty we should be framing these issues as human problems. Creating false dichotomies, dividing men against women, and then trying to play victim olympics under false pretenses is disingenuous n…

And you're selectively quoting me. I did not say "women suffer far more", I said "women suffer more from violence by men than vice versa". If you're going to debate a quote at least be honest about it. Framing things as human problems is a lovely concept, but disparities exist. Ignoring them by labeling them a "false dichotomy" and talking about "victim olympics" does not help solve any issues. You can't solve an iss…

>You can't solve an issue without identifying its causes.

Agreed.

How are the fundamental causes of domestic violence different from the fundamental causes of all other types of physical violence, in your opinion?

Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids

#300
post #278
post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think he was rebutting the point he quoted. Don't forget jail too. There's more men on men violence (and rape) than men on women because of the horrendous prison system and how society couldn't care less. Doesn't make either more acceptable, but it would be nice if prison violence got a little more air time.

Right, but it all just ends being whataboutism. Effectively we're saying "sure, domestic violence exists, but what about prison violence? What about war?". They're not invalid points but the effect is to grind conversation to a halt. We can talk about, and tackle prison violence. We can talk about, and tack domestic violence. But refusing to consider one until the other is also factored in just means nothing ever hap…

[deleted]
Post reply on HN