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How Bad Are Things? (2015)

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Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#91

Post by qntty »

TeMPOraL wrote: post #61
qntty wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right, but he seems resistant to recognizing the valid point that some people really do have it better because they're white or whatever.

What's there to "recognize" about the statement that "some people really have it better because they fall on the right side of a normal distribution"? To a good degree of approximation, the talk about one group having it better than other is a discussion about one group's mean and/or right tail being greater than the other's. The statement you want the author to recognize is equivalent to that in a probability distri…

Race has nothing to do with falling on one side of a normal distribution. I'm not sure how you got that from what I said.

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#92

Post by QuadrupleA »

There does seem to be a certain "external things are the reason for my misery" thread through all these stories that bugs me, even though it's an interesting and well-written piece.

These patients, with the exact same circumstances, could have found some peace by accepting and working within their constraints - the 70-year old woman could accept the situation with the granddaughter and find other outlets for caretaking or being with children, or tried a legal way to address the situation, accepting the outcome whether it works or not ("I took my best shot, the rest is up to fate"). The man with PTSD could learn techniques, CBT perhaps, to cope with the anxiety triggers and expand his comfort zone in the world again, found ways to deal with his anger so it didn't turn into violence, etc.

Not saying these circumstances are easy, but everyone's life has particular challenges and avenues of growth, and in the grand scheme that's often a good thing. Everyone's life has constraints, without exception - I can't teleport instantly anywhere I want on the planet by snapping my fingers; if I spend my days lamenting that and thinking that I should, I'll be miserable.

On the one hand yes we should help each other better our external circumstances; but on the other hand I believe most external things aren't truly necessary for contentment, and indeed the belief that they are causes more misery than the circumstances.

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#93

Post by coldtea »

BurningFrog wrote: post #60
kazagistar wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure, the idea that the right solution is always sympathy and material assistance is a bit reductionistic. But the idea that what's best for people is always tough love and a job is just as reductionistic and oversimplified. And at scale, neither blanket solution is perfectly effective, but one at least leans towards kindness.

Nick Lowe made a song out of this paradox: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0l3QWUXVho

Which is based on a line from Hamlet with the same reasoning ("I must be cruel only to be kind.").

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#94

Post by qntty »

kazagistar wrote: post #64
qntty wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right, but he seems resistant to recognizing the valid point that some people really do have it better because they're white or whatever.

I think privalage is contextual. It depends on you actually coming into contact with situations where it helps. - You can't be privileged in getting a promotion in a dead end job where no one gets promoted. - You can't be privileged in social acceptability if you have a mental health issue that keeps you from going outside. - You can't be privileged in educational opportunities when you had to quit high school to pay…

I think the claim of people who talk about privilege is that there is a society-wide context where being white or whatever gives you privilege.

It's not like America has a white police force that discriminates against black people and a black police force that discriminates against white people. We have one police force and it's a white one (in the sense that it tends to be run for the sake of white people and embodies white values).

It's not like we have a white tech sector that discriminates against black people and a black tech sector that discriminates against white people. We have one tech sector that is run (disproportionately) for the sake of white people and embodies white values.

Does that mean that every white person has it good? No. But being white does have privilege associated with it. You're part of the dominant group and have an easier time navigating the social world because of that.

That being said, it's possible to be white and also mentally ill (for example). That doesn't mean you don't have white privilege, it just means you lack the privilege of people without mental illness. Saying someone is privileged doesn't mean that their life is good, it just means it's better than it would otherwise be.

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#95

Post by nradov »

throwayEngineer wrote: post #12

What should humanity do? The big hitters are Drug addiction and Chronic Pain. I don't have a solution for drug addiction, but I can't blame our generation for not finding a solution. No generation has, and given caffeine addiction, it's extremely hard for others to help with. Chronic Pain needs to end. Between Doctors of Physical Therapy and medications, there are little reason for people to be experiencing chronic p…

There is very little that doctors and physical therapists can do to treat certain types of chronic pain. Sometimes root causes are impossible to determine, or we just aren't capable of fixing the damage. Powerful analgesics come with serious risks and side effects.

Part of the problem is that we don't even fully understand how pain works.

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#97

Post by eli_gottlieb »

asdf21 wrote: post #15

Isn't that just entropy in action... There are a zillion ways for any system to be disordered, and only a handful that we would consider "ordered". Life is constantly fighting entropy, and always eventually fails. It makes sense for disorder and even misery to be fairly common. I do tend to dismiss the concerns of others, simply because I've come to the conclusion that I cannot fix the vast majority of the problems o…

Entropy is running. Entropy is always running.

That doesn't mean you have to help it.

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#98

Post by Maxbunny »

Love the blog, but this is one of the weaker pieces. There is ABUNDANT data on this topic, which all point to the large majority of people being mostly content with their life. This result holds true even for low income countries, but not for the poorest countries.

Even without looking at data, the author should consider that his patients come to him to specifically talk about their problems, and not what is going well in their life. It gives him a skewed perspective.

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#99

Post by WhompingWindows »

Maxbunny wrote: post #98

Love the blog, but this is one of the weaker pieces. There is ABUNDANT data on this topic, which all point to the large majority of people being mostly content with their life. This result holds true even for low income countries, but not for the poorest countries. Even without looking at data, the author should consider that his patients come to him to specifically talk about their problems, and not what is going we…

Can you link to that abundant data and provide evidence for your claim?

Re: How Bad Are Things? (2015)

#100

Post by DoreenMichele »

SolaceQuantum wrote: post #6

In my experience this is very true upon simply becoming the kind of person who is open to listening to others. The vast majority of people you've run into have had huge difficulties in life, or are affected by people close to them who have huge difficulties in their lives. People tell me I'm a wonderful listener due to my lack of judgement on their problems (more than once, people, including my therapist, tell me I'd…

Once, when I was whining about what a "tragedy" my life was, someone told me "Everyone thinks their life is a tragedy." That stuck with me.

I consider genuinely listening to merely be good manners. I have had to learn to be more stand-off-ish because this is apparently not some universal standard of good manners.

In fact, it's apparently some bizarre aberration that signals "use me" or something. All manner of people imagine I am the solution to their problem and I am required to fix their problem, all completely for free while they don't do anything whatsoever for me.

This was true even when I was literally homeless and going hungry.

I don't get it. At all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Like, don't you have a conscience? A sense of social obligation? A sense of quid pro quo? The tiniest inkling that simply using me up and never ever giving back is likely to either alienate me or kill me and, either way, I will stop being a resource for you?

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