> control over my files like that does not appeal to me in the slightest.
Then self-host Nextcloud on your NAS.
> anti-consumer practices when it comes to hardware repairability and data ownership.
Hardware repairability? Agreed, but this goes hand-in-hand with security. IMO all hardware and data should be entangled with the Secure Enclave/T2 chip but Apple is a long way from that (looks, however, as if they are working towards it).
Data ownership? IMO Apple is pretty good with that. They care much more about privacy here than Google et al. If you truly want nothing on Apple's cloud, it's super easy to turn off iCloud too.
> I had an amazingly terrible time at the Apple store recently and an employee tried convincing me
I don't get tech people who do this. You go to a store, ask about a product that you are clearly more knowledgable than the employee on, and then complain that they aren't knowledgable? Unless you are lost there is zero reason for you to ask an employee about a product.
That said, I trust Apple not to datamine your photos. I don't trust Google on that.
> This has disappeared on the latest models.
T2 chip. Security/convenience tradeoff. I'll take the security every time.
Seriously, though, it looks like the only solution that you'll find palatable will be your own NAS with self-hosted Nextcloud - and, if you use a Mac, Time Machine.