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maybe that is only the case in chicago. I would find it immensely irritating if some stranger tried talking to me beyond "hello"
You ever sit there wanting to strike up a conversation with a random stranger, and have no idea where to begin? I think that has more to do with the observed self-imposed isolation than is given credit in the article.
I have a friend who is excellent at this. He starts talking about whatever, someone's clothes, how his day is going, the weather, anything vaguely relevant to the situation. People often look slightly uncomfortable at first, but they seem to quickly get over it and start to chatter away enthusiastically. I find it fascinating because I'm totally incapable of doing the same thing: usually I'll be standing next to him…
Not that any of this is wrong. I'm just explaining my fear in these situations. Awkwardness I can fight through, but fear of awkwardness combined with fear of actually bothering someone.. it just combines to make me think it's not worth doing.
Simple example: "Your groceries look a lot healthier than mine" in the queue at the super market started nice conversations for me.
It was clear that we'd just have stand next to each other for two minutes if the other didn't want to engage in conversation. It was a sort of compliment (you are shopping better things that I do) and it had a at least some sort of reason (there are real goods on the conveyor belt and they differ in healthiness).
Oh and really: limiting the risk by choosing temporary situations really helps to avoid the fear of having to spend time in awkward silence if the attempt at chatting fails.
( * ) Just anything can work here: "And I wondered whether I should bring an umbrella today" to someone actually having one; "Looks interesting" to your neighbour at a street performance; ...
I didn’t really have much to do, and I really enjoy walking around San Francisco with it’s beautiful light pastel palette, rolling hills, and masonry so we walked and walked for about 3 hours.
I was a bit tired by the end, and his story was a bit sad at times but when we finally departed I’d learned a tremendous about one man’s life, his struggles and his triumphs.
I finished my night off at a little sushi joint where, unprompted, I recommended a piece of sashimi to the couple next to me I’d never had that I really enjoyed from my platter. They turned out to be engineers from Square and Amazon who hailed from Seattle and we talked about tech and the world and had a few good laughs. Maybe they’ll see this.
Then I wandered back to my hotel where I saw James, and Alexis who I’d met and had become pleasantly intertwined enough with that they’d invited me out with them after their shifts the night prior.
Finally on the elevator up to my room I briefly chatted with Ruiz, a banker in town for work.
I can’t recommend talking to strangers enough. Sometimes they prompt you, sometimes you prompt them, but it’s a beautiful world out there filled with billions of stories, and they all add just a little spice to life.
You ever sit there wanting to strike up a conversation with a random stranger, and have no idea where to begin? I think that has more to do with the observed self-imposed isolation than is given credit in the article.
Ask them, >do you have any fun plans tonight/weekend? >So where do you work? It basically doesn't matter. I sometimes do the awkward, "hello I'm Michael, what are you doing this weekend?"
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ask them, >do you have any fun plans tonight/weekend? >So where do you work? It basically doesn't matter. I sometimes do the awkward, "hello I'm Michael, what are you doing this weekend?"
I'm usually friendly to strangers but I'd be immediately suspicious of someone asking me either of these questions out of the blue - and I'm a middle class, middle aged male.
Most of mine I am trying to find similarities or learn new things.
After the conversation is over, it won't matter how you opened, it won't matter if the person felt suspicious. I can't control your upbringing or your day.
You either are friends, or you likely won't see them again.
No one died.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ask them, >do you have any fun plans tonight/weekend? >So where do you work? It basically doesn't matter. I sometimes do the awkward, "hello I'm Michael, what are you doing this weekend?"
I'm usually friendly to strangers but I'd be immediately suspicious of someone asking me either of these questions out of the blue - and I'm a middle class, middle aged male.
maybe that is only the case in chicago. I would find it immensely irritating if some stranger tried talking to me beyond "hello"
I do it all the time... on Twitter and Reddit. In real life I would never even look at eyes of a stranger. Probably some people here can relate.
On the street, there’s no rule that you can’t speak to anyone. Most people, however, find comfort in black-and-white answers in knowing if is appropriate to engage. It is this uncertainty that drives individuals not to engage.
maybe that is only the case in chicago. I would find it immensely irritating if some stranger tried talking to me beyond "hello"