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The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

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Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#691

Post by debaserab2 »

shrimp_emoji wrote: post #414
ManuelKiessling wrote: post #348

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Human nature is really weird. I can totally relate to everything you've written, and at the same time, I, as a father and husband, would love to experience a week like that really badly every now and then.

It shows that what people think they want is a silly, shifting goalpost and that "happiness" is an untenable, fictional concept the mind uses to distract itself on its meaningless quest to stay alive. Insofar as it's possible, not taking your feelings or life seriously is the best tactic I've come to use. But I'm relatively young, so I might be wrong. And it's pretty vacuous: so, what, don't act on chasing happiness?…

I don't know that I disagree with everything you've stated, but speaking from experience I do think if you half-ass your attempt at happiness, the grass will definitely be greener on the other side later in life.

Don't make exceptions about the things that make you happy, even if you know the things that make you happy might change down the road.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#692

Post by jodrellblank »

futureastronaut wrote: post #271
realPubkey wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had the same situation. A non sustainable life. With her all changed. I go to the gym so she does not have a skinny boyfriend. When I find something good at netflix I wait until she is home and we can watch it together. When I find a nice place, I remmember it so I can show her the nice bench under that tree in my hometown. I always have flashback about the time I moved to another city without family bondings. Then…

> I go to the gym so she does not have a skinny boyfriend. PSA, there's nothing wrong with being skinny, and some people prefer a skinny partner.

I think of skinny and fat as opposites, backed up by word uses like the "Fattypuffs and Thinifers" - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fattypuffs_and_Thinifers - it's amusing that people go to the gym because they don't want to be fat, and people go to the gym because they don't want to be thin.

Are there other things in life where people go to the same place for, at a glance, opposite reasons?

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#693

Post by JimboOmega »

paganel wrote: post #644

> Especially now that Uber has a STFU option I never understood why people are so against talking to the people that give them a ride. I once was in a very rough spot in my life and talking with taxi-drivers almost daily about the most trivial stuff (weather, politics, traffic) used to give me a very healthy reprieve from the black thoughts I used to have.

As a woman, there are definitely times I don't want to deal with a driver hitting on me. It happens annoyingly frequently, and it's this delicate social situation that requires more mental effort to negotiate than I want to give it.

Friendly conversation (with men and women both) is fine and I've engaged in plenty. But if a driver is too busy telling me just how beautiful I am and as a result drives me to the cargo part of the airport rather than the passenger terminal and makes me late... and I have to sort of humor him and not just say wtf because that's the social contract? Or if I have to for some reason convince him I'm an engineer and not a dancer in spite of my long legs? Yeah, I'll pass on that.

In other situations I can thank them for the compliment and go somewhere else, but with a driver I'm stuck for quite a while. And sometimes I'm really not in the mood. I've complained before there really needs to be a "please don't hit on me" option, and STFU is a decent alternative.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#694

Post by Frondo »

toby- wrote: post #606
DowsingSpoon wrote: post #541

The term “third world” does not mean something like “third rate.” The first world is the Western bloc, under the influence of the USA. The second world is the Eastern bloc, under the influence of the USSR. The third world is everyone else. I think we should stop using these terms.

No, this is no longer what these terms mean in common parlance. (There is no arbiter of language; words are imbued with meaning through usage. People use "first world" and "third world" quite differently now than during the Cold War.)

These words are no longer used in common parlance at all.

Now people use "developing nation" and "developed nation," and "second world" never evolved to mean "somewhere less poor than dirt-floor huts but less rich than London". About once a year I see someone make that mistake; it's not common, just a mistake.

But agreed, there's no arbiter of language for English, and we all understood the original poster, which is really the important part.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#695

Post by winter_blue »

sakopov wrote: post #514

Man, the older I get the more I realize that life is always a balancing act. I immigrated from a 3rd world country (probably a 2nd world now) 20 years ago with my parents. Both of my parents were engineers and both were paid about once a year by their employer because nobody had any money. So we were broke and poor my entire childhood. And yet we always had friends visiting us. There were always celebrations. Seemed…

> inviting each other for dinners and celebrations

I've experienced more of this in the U.S., than in the Indian culture I grew up in. Hanging out with friends, having dinner together, inviting new people you don't know to dinner -- are all very much a part of American culture. People in the U.S. quite intentionally go out of their way to make new friends. It's one of things I love about the United States. In Indian culture, people often stick to just family, and a small circle of friends that rarely changes through life. Compared to that, American openness is wonderful.

> You can strike up a conversation with a total stranger at a bus station and it doesn't feel weird and awkward.

Ironically, the U.S. might be one of the only countries where this is common, and quite socially acceptable. Even in New York, I've broken norms, talked to strangers, and made new friends. In many countries, if you try to strike up a conversation with a stranger, you'll likely get a strange look, followed by silence or a curt unfriendly reply. I'm thankful that in general, people in the U.S. are so friendly, and happily willing to talk to and befriend total strangers.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#696

Post by rmtech »

wolco wrote: post #663
adamc wrote: post #558

Earlier quoted context omitted.

:'( The older I get, the more certain I am that people come first. No one sits around in old age wishing they had spent longer hours at the office.

Some do.. there are better nursing homes out there.

lol ;-0

this is the funniest thing I have heard for a while.

Yo there are better quality coffins as well. Gotta get that premium quality wood, luxury liner, etc. Get your priorities right!

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#697

Post by rubicon33 »

Mr_Shiba wrote: post #537
sakopov wrote: post #514

Man, the older I get the more I realize that life is always a balancing act. I immigrated from a 3rd world country (probably a 2nd world now) 20 years ago with my parents. Both of my parents were engineers and both were paid about once a year by their employer because nobody had any money. So we were broke and poor my entire childhood. And yet we always had friends visiting us. There were always celebrations. Seemed…

Lived for a couple of years in America and opted to return to my country for similar reasons as yours Industrialized nations mistake comfort and wealth for happiness

I find it so incredibly ironic that it was immigrants, fleeing countries utterly lacking in comfort, wealth, or happiness, in search of a better life for themselves and their children, that helped build the comfortable industrialized nation of the United States.

It seems life - human existence - is cyclical and has amnesia. We forget too quickly what real discomfort is. Or at least, fail to strike a proper balance.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#698

Post by rdm_blackhole »

moorhosj wrote: post #513
Toine wrote: post #369

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Prepare for a generation of desperate people when they figure out that they actually wanted to have kids but it's too late.

Are you suggesting their "fur babies" won't take care of them when they are old and sick?

Are you suggesting that people with kids will have their kids taking of them when they are old?

If that's true, I have a bridge to sell you...

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#700

Post by droptablemain »

As someone who is single and "kinless," reading this hit pretty hard. I have had a total of probably less than 12 hours of IRL human contact over the past year. I work 100% remotely, so I suppose this isn't surprising. Dating was incredibly frustrating, so I stopped. Moved to a new city, no friends, etc.

Lately I find myself dreaming of the incredibly mundane -- like sitting and having a conversation with a friend, holding hands with made-up humans, etc.

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