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The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

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Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#681

Post by cowmoo728 »

canadapups wrote: post #393
xenospn wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Adopt a dog. Go to the park twice a day. You’ll feel amazing.

I used to live in an area with lots of apartment buildings and had to babysit a friends dog for a couple of weeks. I met a couple of people when I took the dog out at 6:30am because they were doing the same thing. Ran into the same people every day. Plus you always let the dogs visit (sniff each other) so starting a conversation is almost automatic. Now I have my own dogs. Easy to meet people if you go to obedience,…

I've had the same experience. There are regulars that I get to talk to most days, and many of them have interesting stories. I'm friends with a retired college professor, lawyer, political activist, journalist, nurse, wedding planner and restaurant manager, fitness instructor. All from hanging out at the same dog park almost every day for a few years now. It only takes 30 minutes a day and makes me feel less lonely.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#682

Post by matthewaveryusa »

toby- wrote: post #606
DowsingSpoon wrote: post #541

The term “third world” does not mean something like “third rate.” The first world is the Western bloc, under the influence of the USA. The second world is the Eastern bloc, under the influence of the USSR. The third world is everyone else. I think we should stop using these terms.

No, this is no longer what these terms mean in common parlance. (There is no arbiter of language; words are imbued with meaning through usage. People use "first world" and "third world" quite differently now than during the Cold War.)

It was invented in the 50s in france and literally is translated to 1/3rd world (tiers monde.) third (as in third place) would translate to troisieme. Poor translation basically.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#683

Post by _bxg1 »

oneshot908 wrote: post #652

I relocated out of the bay area in 2016-2017 and it was the happiest year of my adult life. I think Silicon Valley has a zero sum culture and having returned here for personal reasons but otherwise against my best judgment, I cannot wait to GTFO for keeps. I am really really good (perhaps top 10 or so worldwide) at one thing, and pretty good at a couple other things. If I didn't have that, I think I would feel utterl…

I'm not a fan of "who they elected" myself, but I don't really see what politics has to do with any of this

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#684

Post by rahulnair23 »

pault wrote: post #575
DowsingSpoon wrote: post #541

The term “third world” does not mean something like “third rate.” The first world is the Western bloc, under the influence of the USA. The second world is the Eastern bloc, under the influence of the USSR. The third world is everyone else. I think we should stop using these terms.

I agree those terms are antiquated, and I suggest "developed" and "developing" instead.

Developed and developing are also terms that are arbitrary. Human Development Indices of some countries that are considered developing today exceed those of developed countries when these terms were first used.

In common use it implies a strict hierarchy in rather simplistic terms.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#685

Post by brailsafe »

armenarmen wrote: post #289
brailsafe wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a good idea, but I don't don't know about the fastest. I'd recommend your idea and a series of neutral/specific hobbies/sports that give you a wider breadth

No doubt that you’ll have people to chum around with at a meetup. None whatsoever. And it’s a great thing to do both socially and professionally. I’d say though that the people you meet while shooting the shit at a cafe are more likely to be “general friends” that are based more on shared personalities and humor than a shared interest. As such, these types of friendships feel/are less utilitarian

I don't know if I understand your first sentence very clearly, but yes I agree. I made a comment on reddit yesterday regarding a very similar topic.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/bxat83/people_wh...

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#686

Post by brailsafe »

WhompingWindows wrote: post #2

I felt loneliness acutely this week. I live alone, spend most evenings alone, and on top, work's coding and research has been slow for 2 weeks. Collaborators are at conferences and on vacation, so I had much less work and much less face-to-face contact than usual. Given that I code on my own, distribute analyses via email, and occasionally meet if people are around, I barely talked to people some days this week. Goin…

Replied to a similar sentiment on reddit yesterday. Might be worth a read.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/bxat83/people_wh...

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#687

Post by castlecrasher2 »

_bxg1 wrote: post #683
oneshot908 wrote: post #652

I relocated out of the bay area in 2016-2017 and it was the happiest year of my adult life. I think Silicon Valley has a zero sum culture and having returned here for personal reasons but otherwise against my best judgment, I cannot wait to GTFO for keeps. I am really really good (perhaps top 10 or so worldwide) at one thing, and pretty good at a couple other things. If I didn't have that, I think I would feel utterl…

I'm not a fan of "who they elected" myself, but I don't really see what politics has to do with any of this

yeah, the solution comes from individuals, not from politicians

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#688

Post by jdminhbg »

paganel wrote: post #644

> Especially now that Uber has a STFU option I never understood why people are so against talking to the people that give them a ride. I once was in a very rough spot in my life and talking with taxi-drivers almost daily about the most trivial stuff (weather, politics, traffic) used to give me a very healthy reprieve from the black thoughts I used to have.

> I never understood why people are so against talking to the people that give them a ride.

I'm not always against talking to people, but there are definitely drivers who don't know how to read the mood in the car and will drag you into conversations you don't care about. Particularly if you're on a 4:30 am ride to the airport, you might just want to be left alone.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#689

Post by amvalo »

Swizec wrote: post #598
everyone wrote: post #568

Earlier quoted context omitted.

8 hours is a full days work. Most people only have a couple of hours to themselves after working 8 hours + commuting, buying/preparing/eating food, ablutions, taking care of various chores etc. Is 10 the norm where you are? That is very saddening. Where are you btw? During/after the industrial revolution many workers fought hard and died just to get the the working day down to 8 hours (and not 12 or more which is wha…

It's pretty common for people in SFBA to work 10 hours per day. Something about signaling that you're eager and a team player and want to advance etc. 8 or 10 hours doesn't particularly matter. My point is that even in some of the most competitive markets in the world, people do just fine with doing a full day's worth of work, then going home and having a life. OP seems to be under the impression that this is somehow…

Odd. All the recent grads I know are skirting 7 because they hate their jobs, and so far it hasn't backfired.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#690

Post by rdm_blackhole »

nugget wrote: post #42
codingslave wrote: post #7

I would argue that the decline of the family is directly linked to feminism, or better stated, the liberation of women from the home and from conservative sexual values. The two forces behind that are birth control and women entering the work force. These two are magnified by online dating and social media. I am not saying at all that these are bad things, just that we have yet to see the true effects of feminism on…

At the risk of wading into deeply controversal territory, I'll add some personal observations. One of the harsh realities I have seen is that it's very difficult for women to "have it all" meaning a fulfilling personal, family, and professional life, especially in the most competitive fields. Yet for many years this idea has persisted in a mythical sense as broadly achievable. I am now in my late 30s. I've watched my…

What a condescending comment... My wife and I are childfree. Should I tell her that her accomplishments in the workplace or even getting a good education and graduating from university mean nothing because having kids should be her top priority?

This is the problem with people who think they know better. You think people should have more kids, what do you propose? Are you going to pay for the diapers, the education, the bigger house, the bigger car, the childcare? Do you want to become our live-in nanny?

After all, you seem so eager for people to have kids, surely you must be volunteering every night to help kids from low socio-economic areas get better grades and break the cycle of poverty or maybe you have adopted 5 unwanted kids already?

My wife and I don't need your sadness and your condescension. Thank you.

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