I was deemed gifted in school, and always thought of myself as smart. I've come to realize in adulthood that I just have a fantastic memory which I leaned on for everything. In other forms of intelligence I'm probably around average.
I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
291–300 of 424 posts
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#292Ooof, this hits home. Was told my whole entire childhood that I would "cure cancer" (Why all the adults decided I would do that is beyond me) and that the world would kneel at my feet because I was intelligent. Come to find out, I'm not all that intelligent when compared to other really intelligent people, and the world actually doesn't care so much about whether you are smart - especially in late capitalism when 'hustle' (and audacity) (and maybe some amorality/sociopathy) seems to be much more well-rewarded politically and financially.
All I have to say is that you need to be careful what information you are inputting and what social circle you keep as well.
ie; it was very easy when I was a poor activist that never read HN and had no hope of even making rent that month to not give a shit about money (and often, to semi-despise those people going after it)
Now, as a programmer, making what my former-self would have thought would be obscene amounts of money, I often catch myself jealous of people that get paid more, that didn't spend 10-15 years doing activist work and instead bought passive investments, etc etc.
Do I really care about money that much? No, not really. But because I'm exposed to way more people way more often making way more my brain automatically wants to compare in that direction.
It's trickier than I thought.
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#293Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's what Pratchett said: “If you trust in yourself... and believe in your dreams... and follow your star... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
On the other hand, those who work hard and aren't lazy aren't having any fun either.
I would disagree completely. Good work is its own reward, as is the respect that comes with it after years of doing the right thing. Its not something you flirt with, its intergity.
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#294Heather Jones seems like a classic fixed mindset child. An excellent book to read on this subject is Mindset by Carol Dweck.
Essentially, by labeling a child as Gifted we are setting up in a child's mind that their intelligence is what they are and not what they do. This is a "fixed mindset". Fixed mindset children will stop trying as soon as they hit a barrier because failure proves that they are not gifted. This is too much to risk.
The opposite is to complement a child for exploring and trying beyond their current abilities. This is a growth mindset. If a growth mindset child hits a barrier then they will try to overcome the barrier because intelligent behavior is what they do not what they are.
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#295Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m so glad I had parents who encouraged in me what you are encouraging in your children. I was accepted to a very prestigious university, and as my friends, their parents, and other adults (including some family) found out, there was mostly encouragement to just go there. The attitude was, “why wouldn’t I want to go there? Just think of the opportunity!” They we’re shocked I was thinking of attending a state school…
I always am bothered by these stories because they seem to imply the person matters more than the school. I had mediocre grades and stats (#2 in class, 1500/1600) but I didn’t get into a prestigious school and went to my state school. The fact that I couldn’t even get into a top school appears to bode pretty poorly for my future if this is the criteria!
> these stories ... seem to imply the person matters more than the school
Obvious statement is obvious
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#296Earlier quoted context omitted.
On the flip side, you have to challenge them and give them the opportunity to work hard. I think schools get lazy with gifted kids. Gifted kids deserve to be challenged and put to the limits of their abilities the same as non-gifted children, but schools just don't do that. Tracking children by ability in the US has been labeled elitist. Funding often isn't there for enrichment programs. Parents are expected to provi…
I'm just going to keep posting this when the subject comes up... "A 20-year longitudinal study has traced the academic, social, and emotional development of 60 young Australians with IQs of 160 and above. Significant differences have been noted in the young people’s educational status and direction, life satisfaction, social relationships, and self-esteem as a function of the degree of academic acceleration their sch…
Acceleration has its benefits, but the ideal solution would be to accelerate the educational aspects for the child without accelerating the social side.
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#297Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Why? Being smart is good. Why wouldn't you let your kids know? http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html tl;dr: praising them for being "smart" counterintuitively ends up discouraging them.
Of course, don't praise being smart. How is it praiseworthy? But do tell they are smart.
> But do tell they are smart.
The problem occurs when they incorporate "smart" into their identity, so telling them they're smart is a problem too.
From the article I linked:
> Since Thomas could walk, he has heard constantly that he’s smart. Not just from his parents but from any adult who has come in contact with this precocious child....
> But as Thomas has progressed through school, this self-awareness that he’s smart hasn’t always translated into fearless confidence when attacking his schoolwork. In fact, Thomas’s father noticed just the opposite. “Thomas didn’t want to try things he wouldn’t be successful at,” his father says. “Some things came very quickly to him, but when they didn’t, he gave up almost immediately, concluding, ‘I’m not good at this.’ ” With no more than a glance, Thomas was dividing the world into two—things he was naturally good at and things he wasn’t. [emphasis mine]
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#298"Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first call 'promising'." --Cyril Connolly
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#299Earlier quoted context omitted.
The whole prestigious school thing means little imo. After you meet a few dunces from a top school and the rare genius who went to CC, you really stop caring. College is what you make it. If you aren't networking a top school, I don't see the purpose, we all learn math.
I would argue that as University education has scaled up and become commoditized, the value of a generic degree as a signaling function has decreased, and that in response the value of matriculation to a top school has only increased. Schools are just brands and become an extension of the personal brands of their students and alums. Unless you're studying a hard science or similar, I'd bet that the value of lower ran…
I think education is going to radically change in the next decade or so. Online education is going to come up to par with the greatest of institutions. The missing link is the actual credential. The signal of the end of education as we knew it in the past is when a wealthy/powerful person comes out and endorses one of these things in a real way. For example, if Elon Musk comes out and says SpaceX considers a cert from $NetflixOfEducation as equal to an engineering degree from MIT on a resume... then it's all over. I believe this will certainly happen at some point, it's just a matter of when.
Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected
#300Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's what Pratchett said: “If you trust in yourself... and believe in your dreams... and follow your star... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
It does not necessarily have to do anything with laziness. The further you get the fiercer your competition. Most people around here were probably the best in elementary school and high school, perhaps even university. But if you go further up the intelligence or economic ladder, you will compare yourself to peers who are at the same step or next step. And the competition is much fiercer. You are 'competing' with peo…
This forum in particular attracts a certain type of ‘lazy intellectual’: people that value thought and introspection above constant action. They were the type of children that easily mastered early school subjects without working, but are so fascinated by ideas that mere action bores them. I think it’s important to recognize the advantages and limitations of this mindset. I’ve considered the possibility that it is similar to any other obsessive/addictive disorder, and perhaps we’d be more successful in life if we treated it this way.