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I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

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Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#261

Post by lalos »

Bakary wrote: post #128
godzillabrennus wrote: post #91

They called me gifted as a kid. Tested at a genius level IQ (not that it matters). I barely passed high school. I started my first company while in it. I dropped out of my engineering programming. I was teaching other students about computers and was running a business on the side. I am not someone who follows the rules well. My sibling is the polar opposite, they have three Ivy League degrees. They were top 3% of th…

As someone who also follows the rules well like your sibling (but isn't gifted), the more time passes the more I understand it to be a serious character flaw.

Why/how did you come to that conclusion? I'm surprised to see that self-reflection and conclusion of following rules is a character flaw.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#262

Post by adamnemecek »

dugluak wrote: post #249
adamnemecek wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe the reason you don't have the luxury is because the school never gave you the luxury so you didn't have the opportunity to work out something to retain it.

all I am saying is, the ability to do something with constraints that are out of your control, is a skill that needs to be learned.

Sure but school constraints you too much. There needs to be a time when you can explore things, when should this time be if not during school.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#263

Post by [deleted] »

jshaqaw wrote: post #36

Part of the issue here is defining what it means to “achieve”. I was a gifted child and graduated at the top of my fancy Ivy League university. Did I go on to conquer the world? No. And many days I stress and feel bad about that. But that’s mostly when I allow myself to judge myself by the external validation system of society. Society values a big bank account or fancy awards which is fine. A happy life spent with f…

[deleted]

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#264

Post by peteradio »

0815test wrote: post #218
peteradio wrote: post #187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's why it's fucked up to translate these studies into advice saying "don't compliment your kids intelligence".

Kids will value what you compliment. If you compliment their smarts, they will simply work towards always being "the smartest guy in the room", and making everyone else in that room constantly aware of this in the most obnoxious way they can come up with. If you compliment their work they'll strive to get recognition for that instead, which is a way more functional attitude in the longer run!

Why not compliment both so they know it's an important combination and to take advantage of natural gifts? Breaking rocks is hard work but that is not how I'd want my gifted child spending their time. I'm not saying kids should be showered with compliments either but if my kid genuinely surprises me with their wit I'm not going to be such a stiff piece of shit to think I'm doing them a favor by not complimentin them.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#266

Post by SerialOwl »

sabas123 wrote: post #157
yomly wrote: post #20

People blossom at different stages of their lives - sometimes it's physical/technical, other times it's emotional, but in any case sometimes these advantages/head starts end up evening out after the first 30 years for people. To tell some anecdotes of people living at the pinnacle of piano: There is a pianist called Aimi Kobayashi who was a real piano prodigy - she was performing big concertos by the age of 9. Here i…

Another good example of this would be the starcraft player Jaedong, he failed the tournement that you needed to win your proffesional licence 9 times, had absolutely terrible records in training (winning 1 out 20/30 vs teammates) to becoming one of the most legendary players through pure perseverance

I don't think Starcraft players are great examples. Many of the most successful ones walked the "Royal Road," i.e. they won the OSL on their first try. I can't think of any player who was mediocre for years, and then became an all-time great. If anything, every Starcraft legend except Flash had a front-loaded career where they had the majority of their big wins at the start of their career, and then stuck around due to their brand name without ever recapturing their peak.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#267

Post by CharlesColeman »

sanxiyn wrote: post #183
bitexploder wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One challenge is kids will figure out they are smart all on their own. As a parent you have to almost actively repress the notion in a kid’s head that they are “smart”.

Why? Being smart is good. Why wouldn't you let your kids know?

> Why? Being smart is good. Why wouldn't you let your kids know?

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html

tl;dr: praising them for being "smart" counterintuitively ends up discouraging them.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#268

Post by mcphage »

kcb wrote: post #164
turk73 wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should throw out all the games. I'm serious. I never really began to succeed until I stopped playing stupid games and became a man. Now I'm managing younger guys who can't put down the controller. Last fall I had to fire someone who was clearly staying up all night playing video games and was never prepared for work nor doing an adequate job at it. Sadly, his own sense of privilege prevented him from being able t…

I never really began to succeed until I stopped playing stupid games and became a man. Nice work. You're so manly now.

Not as manly as I'm going to be when I throw out all of my games, and all of yours, too!

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#270

Post by dwaltrip »

ransom1538 wrote: post #126
celticninja wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

The world needs more good people. The world doesn't need more smart people.

I feel like your comment is implying a very specific type of "smart" person...

Perhaps a better way to put it is that smarts without wisdom and/or ethics can cause some serious damage?

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