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New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

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21–30 of 71 posts

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#21
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

Reading this with my morning coffee, it sure hits hard. I feel for your situation, comrade! I don't have any advice, just wanted to share my experience if you happen to read this.

I've been a Hikikomori, more or less all my life, maybe with autistic tendencies. The thing is, I'm one of the happy ones - like a stray cat who's been taken in by a kind home. It's been fortunate that the condition evolved into a socially acceptable form, with a healthier balance of inside/outside, self/world. But I was very lucky in terms of family, work, relationships, and life could have dealt me with a tougher hand - so much of it was due to "chance".

The word Hikikomori breaks down into 引く (hiku: to pull) and 篭る (komoru: to be confined, to shut oneself up, to hide). This latter word contains some psychological insight, and there's even some positive aspects to "komoru".

One of the meanings is, during war, to go inside one's castle and fight from a protected space. So it's a strategy in a hostile situation.

Another meaning is, to voluntarily withdraw from the world and retreat into a temple, for spiritual search and contemplation.

There's no blame or judgement, it's a personal decision and stance, and there are many ways to go forward. There are people who care about you (or would, if you reach out).

Despite our imperfections, societal/civilizational immaturity - I hope you find healing somehow, to rediscover that it's possible to love being alive, to love people, to love the world. If all that fails, at least I wish that you find peace in your heart.

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#22
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

> The reality is that I was unequipped to build a healthy place in society because I decided a long time ago that I hated being alive and hated people. It's my own shortcoming,

Why is it your shortcoming? Presumably if you decided you hated people and being alive, it's because people treated you bad.

> For a long time, I wondered if it were possible for people to treat each other better and whether that would have changed anything for me.

What was your conclusion?

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#23
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

I have a very selfish, impolite, and presumptuous request: Your perspective on life in general is very different than mine, and it is clear from this post you are a capable communicator. I would love to listen/read as much more as you're willing to share, written or recorded. I respect if that amount is zero, and realize this is a very selfish request to ask that a piece of you stick around.

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#24
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

A few weeks ago, I was really depressed. I had exactly the same thoughts. I didn’t want to leave my place or meet with friends. After taking magic mushrooms, I feel FAR better. It’s a bit strange to explain but even if I still have these negative thoughts, it’s harder to obsess about them like before. You should also check ketamine treatments if you’re in the US.

That's fantastic! I wish you good luck getting back with friends and building up a life :-)

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#25
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

This definitely reads like a cry for help to me.

Depression is a disease, and it can make thoughts like this seem rational. They aren't.

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#26
post #15
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

Take LSD or mushrooms before you go. Not because it will make you no longer be suicidal, but because it is one of the most powerful experiences that you can achieve in this universe. To die without such experience, is incredible tragedy, especially for someone with your perspective. It also may inform you of ways you can optimize your impact on departure, given your reasoning about being a 'weak seed'. But its really…

Seconding this. LSD and psilocybin provide transportation to a place within unlike any other.

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#27
I felt probably like a Hikikomori when I moved to the other side of the country for my now ex and worked remote for two years. I basically never left the house except for walking the dog and doing grocery shopping. I had no friends and no real social life except when my ex and I visited her friends and family or if I flew back to my hometown.

Even as an introvert I felt fucking miserable for the entire time. I enjoy solitude but that shit wasn't it, it was isolation.

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#28
post #15
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

Take LSD or mushrooms before you go. Not because it will make you no longer be suicidal, but because it is one of the most powerful experiences that you can achieve in this universe. To die without such experience, is incredible tragedy, especially for someone with your perspective. It also may inform you of ways you can optimize your impact on departure, given your reasoning about being a 'weak seed'. But its really…

where do you people buy this stuff?

I must be the most uncool person in the world :(

Re: New Insights into Hikikomori – People Who Withdraw from Society for Years on End

#30
post #3

I’ve cut off all family and friends for a long period of time now, and discontinued my career/work after finally reaching a cynical point of no return a few years ago. My only interactions at this point are with food service workers at the store or coffee shop, or other shopping/errands. Perhaps this is a variant of Hikikomori. In fact, the characteristics of one for me are essentially spot on, except that I’m more o…

I think you should listen a bit of Alan Watts. You can start from this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_HkQ4-x4P4
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