Ask HN: Should I quit my job?

I'm assuming that, by inclusion of the point of being unmarried/29/no-kids, you're implying that eventually want to get married and have kids.

Once you are financially responsible for other human beings (in part or full), this decision gets more complex. Without adequate planning and savings, leaving your employer may be downright irresponsible. But that's not the case right now it seems - all you'll affect is yourself.

So another angle to consider is that - if you're 5-10 years in the future and have all these responsibilities, which path would you have rather taken?

I took 3 months off work once to pursue something when I was at a similar stage in life as you, with the view that I'd delay the decision to come back if I made good progress. Keeping to a schedule was something I didn't do - and if I could go back that's the main thing I'd enforce (and probably allow a little more time, and quit instead of take extended leave). Unfortunately it didn't work out for reasons of progress and other responsibilities I still had at the time, and I just went back to work. No regrets, I might try it again in the future and I'd be better placed to do so.

As for managing others' perceptions - framing it as "trying something out before getting another job" is seemingly more socially more acceptable. But just be careful not to let that mindset reduce your valour in the endeavour.

Best of luck whichever path you take!

Well, I had a girlfriend who, when I decided to quit my job and go back to college, didn't want me to. I did it anyway, and sure enough, that relationship didn't last. I found another one in college, and married her. Later, when I wanted to quit my engineering job and start over as a programmer at a university, making 1/3 the money, she said "go for it".

Breakups suck, but sometimes it is a way to find out if you are with the right person (not that this is why you should do it of course).

You may be at a local maximum of freedom to quit your job and work on your stuff, at least with respect to economic constraints.

Concerns about others' opinions and about your ability to persevere solo are internal constraints.

To the former, does your employer have a leave of absence policy? Could you take a year leave to try your own thing, with the ability to return if now isn't the time?

To the latter - breaking away from excessive conformity to others' opinions is a good thing, IMHO, and if all you accomplish in this exercise is that, it's net positive.

Sticking to a schedule: find a mentor, advisor, somebody to check in with you weekly and review projected work vs. actual results. This will help you stay on task and find workarounds when you get stuck.

It seems like you're well positioned to strike out on a different path. Best of luck to you.

If you and your gf don't want kids and you are sure about it - quit your job. If you want kids and your parents are ready to help you - quit your job.

You are young at 29, but for your girlfriend (if she's of the same age) it's time to think about kids, and think quickly.

Being a programmer at a university is still a "decent job", the difference in money isn't necessarily the crucial part. Instead, try telling her you want to quit so you can become an (eventually unsuccessful) painter and then observe how the relationship is working out some months down the line.

Also, what are the odds that a modern educated self-respecting independent woman would admit (even to herself) that she quit the relationship over that bit of money? If money really was the problem, she'd still have to come up with another reason to break up. Plus, it's not clear if you were already married, that's another threshold of course. Divorces are usually many years in the making.

Of course I'm not saying this is 100% exactly what will happen all of the time (though I've seen it happen shockingly often) and you will certainly find people whose dysfunctional relationships lasted a lifetime. That's called "survivorship bias".