I always imagine myself in a movie. What would I want the protagonist to do? Usually leads me to be more outgoing and not staying at home.
Cultural hegemony at its best.
Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
81–90 of 121 posts
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#82Earlier quoted context omitted.
There can be at least two selfs very easily. There is me, the wise guy who set the alarm so I can wake up early tomorrow and is distinct from the lazy me who won’t wake up the next morning. Then there is me, the nice guy who deserves to sleep in this morning and is distinct from the malicious beast who set the damn alarm last night and is intent on ruining my morning. Completely different people.
I completely concur with dual-think/multiple selves, but your example talks about two different selves at two different _times_, not at once as OP assumes.
If I understand correctly, you don't need to think these two (or more?) selves as mutually exclusive. It's just that when in certain contexts, e.g., when one is setting the alarm, this self has the appropriate conditions to be the dominant one (the laziness feeling bundle is not yet present). The other self, the lazy one, is still there, but its voice is not strong enough to overpower the first.
By contrast, in the morning, the reverse is also true, only this time the lazy voice is completely empowered by the comfy environment -- the other self just not having enough power to break through through the thick wall of comfort attached feelings the body is experiencing at the moment.
To put more simply, both (or more?) are there at the same time. but one is active, the other latent.
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#83>Self-distancing is the act of increasing the distance from your own egocentric perspective when assessing events and emotions that you experience. It's odd that there's no mention of meditation as a way to achieve this effect, since that's arguably its biggest benefit. Put another way, as someone once said: Wisdom is the ability to take your own advice.
I would go further and say that meditation is the only way to reliably and truly actualize such a state of mind.
I consider self-distancing to be one of the things I'm relatively good at. I've hardly ever successfully meditated, though. Furthermore, the article mentions a couple of other techniques that appear to reliably help with self-distancing.
I'm sure meditation helps, but I wouldn't rule out other options for achieving this particular goal.
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#84Earlier quoted context omitted.
No Buddhist would say that, so clearly there's some misunderstanding. There is no Buddhist claim that the true self is an inert observer. Fixating on any aspect of your experience as true or authentic is the problem, not the solution. Enlightened people in Buddhist traditions are functional, happy, active; they don't just sit and stare blankly.
Okay, maybe I didn’t use the right term. I wasn’t referring to spiritual enlightenment ( bodhi ), but rather spiritual emancipation ( moksha ). Let me rephrase more clearly: a person in a state of (permanent) delirium has achieved Nirodha—that is, reached nirvana and thereby escaped dukkha and the cycle of samsara by no longer possessing any earthly desires, and so no desirous soul to reincarnate. Delirium seems to b…
Delirium seems like quite a strange and unusual description of the refined mental states achieved through meditation and the subsequent extinguishing of suffering. Like this dictionary definition of delirium:
> an acutely disturbed state of mind characterized by restlessness, illusions, and incoherence, occurring in intoxication, fever, and other disorders.
That’s quite the opposite of jhana, nirodha, or nirvana, right?
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
“ We’re all scared. You hid in that ditch because you think there’s still hope. But Blithe, the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you’re already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function. Without mercy. Without compassion. Without remorse. All war depends upon it. ” — Speirs, Band of Brothers (2001)
If you don’t have a need to, I’m not sure that its useful or healthy to adopt coping mechanisms that people use to endure the most traumatic experiences possible.
Just to be clear: I was certainly not making a recommendation. I agree with you.
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#86Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#87> self who is analyzing the event is considered to be distinct from the self who experienced it I have hard time following this, how can there be two selfs in a single mind. Is the observer more nobler entity with higher self restraint than the entity being observed who is more emotional and lower self control?
No, i don't think so. But, dictionary definition, popular opinion, respectable / appreciated opinions. I can identify the impossiblity of objectivity inherent in the question, but doing so is dismissive. Sometimes sure, people are immature, unreasonable, careless.
I can't understand the mentality that acts with malice to others out of what comes from hatred of the self. Your statement does not imply the this but it suggests it.
The philosophy of self acceptance is pure torture, but it would be less so if thought - obvious effort - was itself valued. It being non obvious affects some, not others. Someone said preaching is moral violence, once.
A puzzle with no solution, or identification of solutions yield, possibly, equivalent problems. Tautological to suggest the solution can not be identified by the observer, but, provably incomplete, yet, believed to be the standard to measure against.
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#88You may find it worth the time spending an hour reading through the work done by Yaacov Trope in this space, some that are referenced in the article
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#89I used to do that. But people are dangerous, they just want to take benefit of others. So in some cases, if you self-distant, you won't see what could affect you, as outsiders are just outsiders. A balance is needed, self-distant is not enough to deal with people.
I'm not sure you mean the same thing by self-distant as what the article is talking about.
It seems like you are talking about altruism, or looking at situations with an eye towards acting selflessly. Taking actions that will benefit others without regard to how they affect you.
The article is talking about visualizing a situation from a third-person perspective, so that "you" are an object to be analyzed in an emotionally detached way. Rather than viewing a situation from "your" perspective. The idea is looking at your 'self' as some other person helps you to detach from the emotions you feel internally. And this leads to making decisions based on reality rather than how you feel.
All the factors that might lead to you being exploited by other people are still visible when you self-distance. You can still see the co-worker waiting in the wings to throw you under the bus. But rather than _feel_ the discomfort and rage of knowing that the person is after you, you see objectively how you stand in relation to that person. This makes it less likely that you will take impulsive actions driven by instinct, and more likely to take a well-reasoned path that minimizes the likelihood/impact of being exploited.
Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions
#90Wow. This is something I’ll probably remember for quite some time. It’s intuitive and immediately applicable, and also a dose of awareness I’ve needed recently. However, there’s a catch to this. By distancing yourself like this, it seems like you may act quite rationally - but perhaps too locally rational. You may be a long time Java programmer and just feel incredibly unfulfilled about your day to day work, and you…
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