Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?

It would help to make this more concrete, in the abstract it's a bit difficult.

Firstly, What kind of problems are you running away from? How do you describe your problems to yourself?

For mood dysregulation stuff: If you're angry or depressed or anxious, I found "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach to be very helpful. Getting help from a therapist is also worth checking out. Good therapists are hard to find, don't settle for just any therapist.

People problems? You don't get along well with your partner or family? Or you don't have people you feel close to? It's complex. A cheap place to start getting a picture of how healthy people relate is by heading Carolyn Hax's daily column. Google her. Going to Al-anon is good if people around you are drinking or being abusive to you. Therapy again is an option, as is meditation and other self-care techniques. Browse the self help section of your local bookstore.

Financial problems? Heath problems? Motivation problems: Not doing work that you like? These are definitely problems that need addressing, but the specifics of how to are even harder in the abstract.

How are you escaping/regulating your emotions yourself now?

    With drugs, alcohol or other addictive or compulsive behavior

    With work

    Just Daydreaming

    Playing computer games/web surfing/social media

The big question here being, is your escapism clearly destructive (drugs and other addictions), or more benign (daydreaming, consuming media). Destructive escapism needs to be addressed directly, one way or another.

One big problem with drugs and alcohol is that they get in the way of developing other, positive self-care mechanisms such as meditation, exercise, sleep and nutrition. Google psychological self-care.

What are your social supports in life? Spouse, family, friends. How can they help you in this?

Explore 'escaping from what?' What's something in your current life that you'd like to escape? What part of the past feels like it's been 'stealing the present', that you'd like to escape from? Personally, I've worked to escape the negative impact that my father's physical and emotional abuse had on me. (The main impact being it turned me into an angry person.)

It's a good thing you've done to reach out and ask for help around this. Consider that you're on a 'Journey of Awareness' to wake up to the reality of your own inner world. Take it on as an active task.

It's all just habit.

Don't overthink the methodology. The more you run from problems, the more likely you run from that problem next time. Whatever choice you pick when dealing with a problem is more likely to be the default choice next time.

The most common mistake is to not recognize the problem or escapism when it happens. Or rather, to see it but pretend it isn't there. That's really where all forms of therapy come in; they help you to admit the problem and stop avoiding it. After all, avoidance is a form of escapism.

There's a reason why we do this though. Most problems go away. And some problems get worse while you're tackling them. So like our addiction to sugars and fatty food, it's by design.