In other words, how do you stop yourself from running away from your problems?
Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#2Tell yourself it's a feature, not a bug. I'm only half joking.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#3By confronting and dealing with the underlying things leading you to want to escape in the first place. The escapes only offer temporary relief, while effective confrontation can resolve the issues so you can get off the hamster wheel and move on.
CBT [0] has been by far the best way I've found so far to achieve meaningful, long-term change to my underlying thinking and mindset. CBT offers a scientifically-based approach, and there are lots of helpful professionals out there.
If this information helps you or anyone reading this, I'll be so happy!
[0] https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavi...
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#4Tell yourself it's a feature, not a bug. I'm only half joking.
Seconded. There was actually a study related to this: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S019188691...
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#5I don't have an actual method, personally, but years of experience has shown me time and time again that real problems will, sooner or later, force you to deal with them. If you avoid a problem until you have no choice but to deal with it, that problem will be orders of magnitude worse, more painful, and more difficult to resolve.
So when a problem comes my way, I remind myself of this and make a conscious decision to deal with it immediately out of a sense of self-preservation.
The tricky part is that not all problems are real problems. Some are pseudoproblems that will eventually just evaporate. In the moment, it can be hard to tell which is which. I choose to deal with them anyway, on the basis that resolving a pseuodproblem does no real harm, but not resolving a real problem does.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#6By embracing it? Working in an escapism industry (VR for me) so escapism becomes a goal that you need to optimize and have an incentive to work for and complete tasks. For other issues like chores and paperwork, sharing the load with someone.
Basically by creating escape solutions for others.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#7Try to trace back that feeling when it arises, a feeling that hinders you from completing or even considering a goal. For me that would be a fear to fail, or fear of receiving criticism from others. If you have it in you, you know it cuts like a knife, drives you into perfectionism, etc. The solution is to embrace the idea that failing is a part of life.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#8Problems usually tend to grow stronger as you look away and even if your escapism works, there will always be this looming black cloud in the back of your head.
The problem is, that over time you can grow so acustomed to this black cloud that you forget about it’s existance and your feel bad and worse and when everything becomes to much you face it. And only then you will realize how much you really suffered.
Life is short. Too short to fill it with distractions.
If your problems seem big, do it like a mountaineer: one step at a time. If you want to reach that summit in one step you will not even start the journey. Break your problem into managable pieces and try to change habits in away that helps you to take these steps.
Find help and talk to people about it, promise a good friend to come back to them after a month and tell them how you did (even if you fucked up).
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#9The mental seal.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with or stop escapism?
#10Are you talking about fleeing your problems or avoiding them?
“Escapism” usually refers to burying oneself in distractions (especially fiction) to avoid confronting problems.
Whereas running away from problems (ex: breaking up with someone because you’re afraid to attend their cousin’s wedding) is something else.