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Ask HN: How to not feel bad/guilty about quitting the current job for a break?

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Re: Ask HN: How to not feel bad/guilty about quitting the current job for a break?

#11

Post by phakding »

If you like your job and it pays well, why leave it. Your problem is not job, your problem is that you haven't taken any vacations. Just take a month off and plan a vacation. Or just stay home and work in your health.

I used to pool my vacation and take entire month of December off and just relax. I used to work out in the gym almost every day, wake up late, take naps, watch movies. Other times, go travel to far away places etc.

If you come back and have forgotten passwords, then you have used up the time well.

Re: Ask HN: How to not feel bad/guilty about quitting the current job for a break?

#12

Post by eswat »

sharmi wrote: post #6
saluki wrote: post #2

You need a 1 to 2 week vacation. Sounds like you have a great job, those are tough to find. Take 1 week or 2 off, unplug and see how you feel after that. You can probably recharge quite a bit in 1 week or 2. Vs. worrying about what you're doing next. If that doesn't work, see if you could take 1 month off paid or unpaid and travel. It might be a good idea to see a life coach or therapist too just to explore what you'…

This is the best advice. Take baby steps. From my perspectiv, 1 week is too short a time to fully assimilate the difference. See how you feel after 2 weeks of total disconnect from the job. Are you feeling relaxed and unwinded? Then the job is the stressor. Else, the source is somewhere else, though the job might also be a contributing factor. How do you feel after joining again? Do you feel energetic/normal and inte…

And if OP does end up leaving the job, please don’t feel guilty about taking time off when you see others around you working harder but worse off than you.

Unless you were actually managing them you are not responsible for their happiness. Get yourself back on track before worrying about others (it’s cliché but think of the oxygen mask metaphor).

Re: Ask HN: How to not feel bad/guilty about quitting the current job for a break?

#13

Post by DerekQ »

Ask for a three month Sabbatical. If you've been working for a company for some time and have done well there, you might be surprised how eager they are for you not to leave outright. The reason for the Sabbatical? Have a couple of ideas in your head if you feel the need to explain yourself, but don't say burnout:

Trip around the world, meditation retreat, extra-tech study, family reasons, whatever.

And of course, have your mind made up in case the answer is no. Make it clear that you've decided to take the time off regardless, but would really like to return to work for them in three months.

I've done this very thing myself. 2-3 months off, going part-time, etc. The cost of losing your experience and abilities down the road usually out-weighs any short term difficulties it presents to the company.

Re: Ask HN: How to not feel bad/guilty about quitting the current job for a break?

#14

Post by throw51319 »

Roughly how much did you save up? I just turned 27 and am also in NYC. Have 85k cash. Just wondering.

But yeah, I would ease into it like the others said. If you have a well-paying job that you kind of like, that's not a bad thing. Me myself, I've taken long travel breaks before so I know what I'd be getting into (with tweaks from maturing).

Take a 2 week vacation and disconnect. If you like it, then ask for a 2 month sabbatical. If they say no, then just quit and go for a 3 month slow travel trip around Europe or SA. Hit some meditation retreat and a music festival.

Re: Ask HN: How to not feel bad/guilty about quitting the current job for a break?

#15

Post by kleer001 »

Sounds like you'll be more effective and productive if you take off enough time that you get bored and bored for a few weeks until you're hungry enough to dive back into work.

For me that's about 3-4 months. I get sad and angry and bored and need need need to work with a group of skilled people again. I've heard from others that it takes about a season, no less than 8 weeks, no more than 6 months (except for people that are fine working alone).

Since you have enough money to retire this should be easy. Don't worry about this particular job. Worry about doing well in your career. If you're good head hunters will contact you.

Re: Ask HN: How to not feel bad/guilty about quitting the current job for a break?

#16

Post by throwawaydave07 »

throw51319 wrote: post #14

Roughly how much did you save up? I just turned 27 and am also in NYC. Have 85k cash. Just wondering. But yeah, I would ease into it like the others said. If you have a well-paying job that you kind of like, that's not a bad thing. Me myself, I've taken long travel breaks before so I know what I'd be getting into (with tweaks from maturing). Take a 2 week vacation and disconnect. If you like it, then ask for a 2 mont…

I have saved up ~$220k in 5 years. My rent situation is pretty good as I only pay $1500 a month and I had minimal student loans when I graduated so that put me ahead(state school with part time jobs and internships). I also have a good amount of vested stock options that I can sell if need be (I got lucky that the company I work for has had their stock appreciated significantly).
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