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A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

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Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#41

Post by neom »

yomly wrote: post #4

What even is "personality" - leaving aside technical and dictionary definitions, if you --the person-- are the sum of your life experiences, can you ever truly not be you? I pose this because I encounter resistance from people to the notion that they can change themselves, lest they lose some notion of their "self", and personality is often equated with "self" from my experience.

There are also some interesting aspects of spirituality in this question. If you are a spiritual person you might look at how the ideas around akhlaq or samsara impact personality, it's an interesting philosophical thought experiment. :)

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#42

Post by RivieraKid »

yomly wrote: post #4

What even is "personality" - leaving aside technical and dictionary definitions, if you --the person-- are the sum of your life experiences, can you ever truly not be you? I pose this because I encounter resistance from people to the notion that they can change themselves, lest they lose some notion of their "self", and personality is often equated with "self" from my experience.

> if you --the person-- are the sum of your life experiences

There's also DNA and early childhood development which is hard to change in adulthood.

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#44

Post by yomly »

AndrewDucker wrote: post #5
yomly wrote: post #4

What even is "personality" - leaving aside technical and dictionary definitions, if you --the person-- are the sum of your life experiences, can you ever truly not be you? I pose this because I encounter resistance from people to the notion that they can change themselves, lest they lose some notion of their "self", and personality is often equated with "self" from my experience.

"can you ever truly not be you" It's a question of degree. There's a clear line from me yesterday to me today, with a massive amount of similarity. I'm comfortable about my wants and needs and how my life is set up, because the "me"s of the past set things up, and I'm similar enough to them to fit into the niche they worked on. That personality can change over time - I'm not who I was when I was 20, and I'll be diffe…

> it would be the instant death of one personality and their replacement by a different one. And that feels very uncomfortable to people.

That's a salient observation, but it's a definitely a curious aversion and possibly linked to a similar underlying thought pattern that "growth mindset" vs "fixed mindset" tries to capture:

Notions like "I can become more confident in everything I do" and "I can learn to be better with people" terrified a friend as some kind of type of desire to deceive others with some inauthentic persona that was disingenuous because you had changed your personality

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#45

Post by klipt »

yboris wrote: post #38
calewis wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who suffers from depression and has gone to therapy for over 5 years (I am also on medication), please try and force yourself to go. It will most likely change your life for the better, if not, what have you wasted? A bit of money and a few hours of your time? It could make you better at dealing with your depression and, as a consequence, make you feel happier. You might need to try a few different therapi…

Thank you for sharing. Sincerely curious what you mean by "A bit of money". I'm lucky that I didn't have to have therapy. My guess is unless your insurance/job covers mental health, it's at least $50/hour (closer to $100 or $150 if in a major city). Surely not much for the possible benefits (and on a developer salary), but I'm wondering how expensive such services are.

> closer to $100 or $150 if in a major city

If therapy is just talking, surely there must be options for cheaply video chatting a therapist in a state with lower cost of living?

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#46

Post by calewis »

yboris wrote: post #38
calewis wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who suffers from depression and has gone to therapy for over 5 years (I am also on medication), please try and force yourself to go. It will most likely change your life for the better, if not, what have you wasted? A bit of money and a few hours of your time? It could make you better at dealing with your depression and, as a consequence, make you feel happier. You might need to try a few different therapi…

Thank you for sharing. Sincerely curious what you mean by "A bit of money". I'm lucky that I didn't have to have therapy. My guess is unless your insurance/job covers mental health, it's at least $50/hour (closer to $100 or $150 if in a major city). Surely not much for the possible benefits (and on a developer salary), but I'm wondering how expensive such services are.

In the UK you can get therapy on the NHS, but it's mostly CBT and not for any extended period. Psychotherapy, which is what is what most people need with long term mental health issues (like myself) is mostly private. You can pay anything from £50-150 p.h In the US, I'm not sure.

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#47

Post by calewis »

klipt wrote: post #45
yboris wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for sharing. Sincerely curious what you mean by "A bit of money". I'm lucky that I didn't have to have therapy. My guess is unless your insurance/job covers mental health, it's at least $50/hour (closer to $100 or $150 if in a major city). Surely not much for the possible benefits (and on a developer salary), but I'm wondering how expensive such services are.

> closer to $100 or $150 if in a major city If therapy is just talking, surely there must be options for cheaply video chatting a therapist in a state with lower cost of living?

In my experience, you need to be there face to face. I can't explain it, but it's all the nuances and the uncomfortable silences. I was seeing my therapist for a while via Skype, even though he lives a few miles up the road. I now make the effort and see him face to face. It's so much better. But, like anything, what works for you.

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#48

Post by ThePadawan »

yboris wrote: post #38
calewis wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who suffers from depression and has gone to therapy for over 5 years (I am also on medication), please try and force yourself to go. It will most likely change your life for the better, if not, what have you wasted? A bit of money and a few hours of your time? It could make you better at dealing with your depression and, as a consequence, make you feel happier. You might need to try a few different therapi…

Thank you for sharing. Sincerely curious what you mean by "A bit of money". I'm lucky that I didn't have to have therapy. My guess is unless your insurance/job covers mental health, it's at least $50/hour (closer to $100 or $150 if in a major city). Surely not much for the possible benefits (and on a developer salary), but I'm wondering how expensive such services are.

European perspective incoming:

Every resident of Switzerland has to have obligatory health insurance. Therapy is part of the basic package that every insurance provider has to cover (for up to N sessions per year). The patient has to pay a cover of 10% of the cost on top.

This shifts the cost of therapy from $150/hr to $15/hr + basic health insurance premiums (<$500/mo). Note that this is general health insurance, so this will also cover physical health etc. (apart from dentistry for some reason).

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#49

Post by borkt »

yboris wrote: post #38
calewis wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who suffers from depression and has gone to therapy for over 5 years (I am also on medication), please try and force yourself to go. It will most likely change your life for the better, if not, what have you wasted? A bit of money and a few hours of your time? It could make you better at dealing with your depression and, as a consequence, make you feel happier. You might need to try a few different therapi…

Thank you for sharing. Sincerely curious what you mean by "A bit of money". I'm lucky that I didn't have to have therapy. My guess is unless your insurance/job covers mental health, it's at least $50/hour (closer to $100 or $150 if in a major city). Surely not much for the possible benefits (and on a developer salary), but I'm wondering how expensive such services are.

AFOAF went through a tough time basically between the end of high school and a year out of college. Family stuff that was so hard to emotionally grasp and make sense of it absolutely paralyzed her. She went through many different forms of therapy; from affordable counselors, to a professor at her college (don't try that, they usually just want you to pay to be in a study), to a relatively average psychologist (~150/hr) who made her feel better able to cope with her mental state but did not provide her any tools to go beyond it.

Finally, when we moved to a larger area she found a first-rate CBT practitioner and the results were nothing short of outstanding. In less than 4 months she went from being completely dependant - afraid to drive a car, visit stores, or pretty much leave the house alone - to regaining her independence and returning to the person she was before everything happened. The downside was she had to wait 3 months for an opening and I believe sessions were in the neighborhood of 300$ and needed to be 2x a week at first if I remember correctly. Regardless it is the absolute best money she had ever spent, and was so much cheaper than the years of seeing a different psychologist who didn't help her move forward.

I guess the moral is if you are in a situation where you are incredibly anxious or depressed to the point where you feel it is irrationally preventing you from making progress or following through on things you want to do, CBT (from the right place) can change things you may have never thought possible.

Re: A little discussed effect of therapy: it changes personality (2017)

#50

Post by Torwald »

lkadr wrote: post #10

After years of depression, I'm sure my personality is one of the cause of me still being depressed. And if I went to therapy, I'd expect and want it to change. But change is scary, and I suppose that's why some depressed persons don't want to seek help. There's sometimes comfort in suffering. Another reason is that the not-desesperate me feels shallow and boring. But there's probably a hopeful me that's not. I haven'…

Because I haven't seen it mentioned in any of the other comments: nutrition plays a role in this.

I do have heard several times about people fighting depression, who bettered their lot by improving their diet. Granted, these are just anecdotes, but, if you are suffering from depression you might want to investigate that angle.

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