Earlier quoted context omitted.
On iOS it's obvious it uses emulated controls. I think if you want a fully themed app that looks the same across all environments, you should go with Flutter. If you want an app that looks the same as other native apps on the target environment, you should go with React Native.
(I'm the Flutter TL) If you can tell that we're not using OEM widgets, we consider that a bug. Please file it and explain what the difference is. We're definitely not perfect, but fidelity is a high priority for us this year. https://github.com/flutter/flutter/issues/new?template=BUG.m...
That said, I do understand that many people want the seeming of a native app, even if there's a bit of a blowout in size and performance... it's just not my cup of tea however.
Here's a (random) post talking of performance of Native vs Flutter vs RN: https://thoughtbot.com/blog/examining-performance-difference...
>I feel confident in saying that a native Android app will perform better than either a React Native app or a Flutter app