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How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

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Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#21
post #15

Well, we can all agree that the word "love" is overloaded. With my parents and my kids.. my love is truly unconditional. No matter what they do or say, I will always love them. Unconditional love has no place in romantic love. They shouldn't even be sharing the same words. Romantic love is absurdly conditional. We need a different word. The word "lust" is also a temporary state, even with new couples. Music, romantic…

Ha, Rick and Morty, best show ever ;-)

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#22
post #19
post #15

Well, we can all agree that the word "love" is overloaded. With my parents and my kids.. my love is truly unconditional. No matter what they do or say, I will always love them. Unconditional love has no place in romantic love. They shouldn't even be sharing the same words. Romantic love is absurdly conditional. We need a different word. The word "lust" is also a temporary state, even with new couples. Music, romantic…

I used to think that. Until I met my true love. Hope you get to experience it some day. 23+ years of embarrassingly romantic, lustful, sacrificial, unconditional straight-out-of-a-Shakespearean-sonnet divine true love. There is such a thing. Rare. But it does exist.

It's not unconditional if it's also lustful.

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#23
post #15

Well, we can all agree that the word "love" is overloaded. With my parents and my kids.. my love is truly unconditional. No matter what they do or say, I will always love them. Unconditional love has no place in romantic love. They shouldn't even be sharing the same words. Romantic love is absurdly conditional. We need a different word. The word "lust" is also a temporary state, even with new couples. Music, romantic…

If Dan Harmon had known that R&M would be misquoted out of context so much... he would have probably written it anyway, because it made him a millionaire and fuck poor people trying to make you feel guilty, but regardless -- he's on record multiple times saying how he's baffled that people take Rick as a model when it's patently clear that he's an antisocial psycho who will never find happiness (see for example "Auto Erotic Assimilation"), borne out of Harmon's worse instincts.

For the record, Harmon is currently engaged and will probably marry (for the second time) pretty soon.

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#24

This really doesn't relate too much, but I've realized over time that I'm essentially in love with one of my best friends (of the opposite gender). We've been friends for 10 years, and just spending time around her makes me feel so relaxed and satisfied with life, it's a unique feeling to someone like me who hasn't been in much of a relationship so far in my life. I'm able to maintain a good friendship despite this,…

Weird to read this as I've recently discovered exactly the same thing with a friend in my life. Relaxed and satisfied with life, that is precisely how I feel around her. Thanks for putting this to words.

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#25
post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I used to think that. Until I met my true love. Hope you get to experience it some day. 23+ years of embarrassingly romantic, lustful, sacrificial, unconditional straight-out-of-a-Shakespearean-sonnet divine true love. There is such a thing. Rare. But it does exist.

It's not unconditional if it's also lustful.

Ha. I'll leave it to you to parse adjectives. All I'm saying to the delightfully Spock-ian logical HN poster is that all the cynicsm and scientific Mumbo-jumbo about endorphines and the like vanish upon laying eyes on your soul-mate. I could never convince you of true love. I don't mean to even try. I hope you have the distinct pleasure and privilege of discovering it for yourself.

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#26
post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not unconditional if it's also lustful.

Ha. I'll leave it to you to parse adjectives. All I'm saying to the delightfully Spock-ian logical HN poster is that all the cynicsm and scientific Mumbo-jumbo about endorphines and the like vanish upon laying eyes on your soul-mate. I could never convince you of true love. I don't mean to even try. I hope you have the distinct pleasure and privilege of discovering it for yourself.

The GP was making a distinction regarding the application of the quality of unconditional to romantic love. At the minimum, if there's lust involved, it's by definition not unconditional. You snarkily leave me to parsing adjectives all the while triumphing your definition of true love over others. One can accept the notion of 'true (romantic) love' but pretending its unconditional is lying about facts.

I'd also argue that even parental love and the love for the offspring is not unconditional either: you love them because they are your parents, or your children.

We can participate in the varieties of the human experience, but let's not lose sight of the truth or muddle the meaning of words. I'm of the opinion that completely unconditional love can only occur in relation to an other from whom one stands to gain absolutely nothing.

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#27
post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I knew you were poly as soon as you mentioned Heinlein as one of your biggest influences on your theory of romance. :) Love without expectations is a wonderful joyous thing. A couple songs my longest partner and I love are https://climbingpoetree.bandcamp.com/track/cant-help-but-fly... and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGFu05xB-8

Heh. Heinlein wasn’t actually how I came into it, but because his writing was always in the back of my mind, it made it a lot easier to accept. I fell into it the way one falls into a puddle: by a series of mishaps. And those links/songs are excellent, thank you!

I am glad someone bought up Heinlein. He has certainly been a very important influence in my life.

I don’t like the label of ‘poly’ and I don’t understand the definition of ‘love’ as we know it in society..and I have a dim view of marriage as a social construct as I see how it can be regressive for women(I am female).

That Heinlein quote is one of my favorites. I embrace it better as something that causes a tumble and release of brain chemicals in a certain synchronized way.

I also wonder if entheogens can help human beings grasp the concept of love and guide them to be emotionally non violent(to themselves and to those they love) about it.

Perhaps we will all love each other universally if someone added ‘shrooms in our tap water.(I was being facetious! Altho..it is more of an absurd seed for maybe a weird tales story contribution.)

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#28
post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ha. I'll leave it to you to parse adjectives. All I'm saying to the delightfully Spock-ian logical HN poster is that all the cynicsm and scientific Mumbo-jumbo about endorphines and the like vanish upon laying eyes on your soul-mate. I could never convince you of true love. I don't mean to even try. I hope you have the distinct pleasure and privilege of discovering it for yourself.

The GP was making a distinction regarding the application of the quality of unconditional to romantic love. At the minimum , if there's lust involved, it's by definition not unconditional. You snarkily leave me to parsing adjectives all the while triumphing your definition of true love over others. One can accept the notion of 'true (romantic) love' but pretending its unconditional is lying about facts. I'd also argu…

> If there's lust involved, it's by definition not unconditional

Can you elaborate on this?

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#29
post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ha. I'll leave it to you to parse adjectives. All I'm saying to the delightfully Spock-ian logical HN poster is that all the cynicsm and scientific Mumbo-jumbo about endorphines and the like vanish upon laying eyes on your soul-mate. I could never convince you of true love. I don't mean to even try. I hope you have the distinct pleasure and privilege of discovering it for yourself.

The GP was making a distinction regarding the application of the quality of unconditional to romantic love. At the minimum , if there's lust involved, it's by definition not unconditional. You snarkily leave me to parsing adjectives all the while triumphing your definition of true love over others. One can accept the notion of 'true (romantic) love' but pretending its unconditional is lying about facts. I'd also argu…

> from whom one stands to gain absolutely nothing

Some people look at unconditional love as something where both parties gain absolutely everything.

Re: How do we know when we’ve fallen in love? (2016)

#30

> In Russian, the verb that means discover or recognize also contains the verb to know. The English very nearly does as well. The "gn" in "recognize" has the same etymological root [1] as the "kn" in "know"---and as the "зн" in "сознать" (recognize) and "знать" (know). It's not quite as obvious as in the Russian, but "acknowledge" means nearly the same thing as "recognize" and includes "know" as a substring. [1] http…

Perhaps in German it is even more obvious. "to recognize" => "zu erkennen" "to know" => "zu kennen" (alternatively, "zu wissen")
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