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“Be yourself” is terrible advice

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Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice

#2

Post by bargl »

Be yourself is a phrase which implies stagnation.

I heard a joke once that "past me was an ass hole, and ate that cake so now I've got to run." or something like that. That's the way I try to think about this. If I don't look back at past me with a little bit of that same feeling I get when looking at old code then I haven't grown. And I try to use that to remind current me that future me matters too.

Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice

#3

Post by pesmhey »

No, it’s absolutely fantastic advice. But there’s a second part of it that needs be attached. Be yourself, and be ready for feedback. Your self might just be awful. I think everyone has this happen to them, where who they are needs some adjustment to fit into the bigger picture. Not to blindly conform, but to really find your niche.

The feedback may not always be pleasant, especially if you’ve spent a lot of time not being yourself. If the self you’ve constructed deviates so far from the norm, you’re going to struggle normalizing it. Maybe you’ve created the next big thing, and everyone needs to adjust to you, sure. But maybe you haven’t. And even if you have, you’re going to need to assist everyone in understanding how you’ve come to where you are. And that’s going to take work.

Again, being yourself is the best thing you can do. It’s great advice. Be ready for feedback. And be ready to defend your self against that feedback or to let if guide you. But there’s absolutely no other way to live your life than to be yourself. At all. Anything less is a soulless existence; an existence worse than death.

TLDR, be yourself, and be ready for a reality check. It might come, it might wrong, it might be anything. But do not sell your soul to someone else’s.

Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice

#4

Post by vinbreau »

bargl wrote: post #2

Be yourself is a phrase which implies stagnation. I heard a joke once that "past me was an ass hole, and ate that cake so now I've got to run." or something like that. That's the way I try to think about this. If I don't look back at past me with a little bit of that same feeling I get when looking at old code then I haven't grown. And I try to use that to remind current me that future me matters too.

I do this. I learned a long time ago that past-me could be quite an asshole even to future-me. Thinking in this context allows me to assess the now and try to be a better past-me while in the present. I consider how future-me will react and adjust my actions accordingly.

Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice

#7

Post by zzo38computer »

You are already yourself. Be yourself is not an advice needed, but not to avoid it either. Rather, is good to learn from your experience what is better, to learn better. Yourself one year in future is not necessarily same like yourself one year in past, so, improvement is possible to do.

Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice

#8

Post by pesmhey »

bargl wrote: post #2

Be yourself is a phrase which implies stagnation. I heard a joke once that "past me was an ass hole, and ate that cake so now I've got to run." or something like that. That's the way I try to think about this. If I don't look back at past me with a little bit of that same feeling I get when looking at old code then I haven't grown. And I try to use that to remind current me that future me matters too.

Eh, I prefer to think of it as looking at your foundation, or roots. It’s just a slab of concrete, where the stuff on top is a bit more elaborate and abstract. Looking back should be like looking at your foundation. It’s supporting everything that comes after it. Of course it’s less ‘sophisticated’. That’s good design. Unless someone was using crown molding build the foundation of their house. Like using OOP where you don’t need it.
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