I forwarded this to my girlfriend. Thanks for providing an SO's perspective so that I can make the point that it's part of the game, and not just me.
Don't assume this article lets you off the hook, because you'll be single pretty soon.
What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
31–40 of 41 posts
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#32The odds of your startup succeeding are better than the odds of you finding a girl as cool as this.
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#33[deleted]
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#34Earlier quoted context omitted.
Some of us actually enjoy creating and producing. It seems that you are suggesting an irreconcilable dichotomy between work and enjoyment of life with your phrase "turn your whole life over to it". In point of fact, many people do this as part of living, and don't count it as work. Most children, when building novel( to them )structures with legos, lincoln logs, blocks, etc, are not "turning their whole lives over to…
There's a difference between creating and putting out fires, though. I enjoy creating, but I can also set it aside long enough to spend some time with someone. I DON'T enjoy putting out fires, but it is usually a necessary evil towards a more significant goal. It's amazing to have a SO who understands and accommodates that, but the two shouldn't be confused - it's the difference between having to fix an emergency, an…
I agree with you, I just want to point out the fact that he (the startup guy) DID go to brunch with his SO.
I'm sure that it would have been easier for him to just stay home and work, and go out "some other time" or something like that. I really like that it seems like they both compromised on brunch that day. He joined her for brunch, and she was alright with him doing work at brunch.
Seems like they have a really good relationship.
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#35In many parts of the world (and USA) it's considered pretty disrespectful to take a phone call while seated at a restaurant. Now 'furiously coding' at the restaurant (not a coffee shop) -- that I've never seen before, and I've lived in SF for a long time.
This is what struck me most about this article - that they seemed to think it was OK to sit in a a restaurant with a laptop open on the table, and not even being coy about it! It's plain disrespectful, not even so much to the people at your table (who presumably are either ok with it or at least know the person and could interfere), but more to the other patrons and staff. Imagine going out for nice night in town and some moron pulls out his computer at the table next to you and starts banging away and polluting the atmosphere with his bright lcd screen. Luckily around here waiters are starting to stand up for patrons and are asking people on their phones to move outside while they talk (which is a comparable social faux pas, but happens much more).
(note that it depends on the definition of 'restaurant' - I realize that McDonalds is called a 'restaurant' too in some parts of the world, I mean a place with tablecloths and staff that comes to your table, so starting at around a neighborhood pizza place or so. Also I've asked my wife to move to the bar or the lobby several times when she got out her computer in similar situations, I've been on all sides of the table on this one.)
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#36I think that the really interesting piece of this article was how often the SO is talking about a "we". This is the really important part of it all - if its not a we, it does not have a very good chance.
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#37Does this really happen? I've been involved in startups for the last 9 years (the last 4 as a technical founder). I can count on one hand the number of times I've pulled an all-nighter or even really worked through a weekend. Sure I work a bit more than the average person, but it's nothing like this. I've had bugs popup on the weekend or during a vacation (and I do travel with my laptop everywhere I go). 99% of the t…
Some of us actually enjoy creating and producing. It seems that you are suggesting an irreconcilable dichotomy between work and enjoyment of life with your phrase "turn your whole life over to it". In point of fact, many people do this as part of living, and don't count it as work. Most children, when building novel( to them )structures with legos, lincoln logs, blocks, etc, are not "turning their whole lives over to…
It's not that I don't enjoy it, it's that I try to balance my life around it. I really enjoy playing video games as well, but I'm not going to sacrifice the most important relationships in my life so that I can play a few more rounds of Call of Duty.
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#38Does this really happen? I've been involved in startups for the last 9 years (the last 4 as a technical founder). I can count on one hand the number of times I've pulled an all-nighter or even really worked through a weekend. Sure I work a bit more than the average person, but it's nothing like this. I've had bugs popup on the weekend or during a vacation (and I do travel with my laptop everywhere I go). 99% of the t…
This may be true for a subscription web app, maybe there is a bug and the customers can deal with not having a particular feature working correctly until Monday, you have a relationship with them and this is a mare annoyance. Thinking in terms of an ecommerce or affiliate site, you have no relationship with those visiting your page. They're likely to close the browser or it the back button for the most inane reasons,…
Which is interesting because my business falls much more into the latter category.
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#39Does this really happen? I've been involved in startups for the last 9 years (the last 4 as a technical founder). I can count on one hand the number of times I've pulled an all-nighter or even really worked through a weekend. Sure I work a bit more than the average person, but it's nothing like this. I've had bugs popup on the weekend or during a vacation (and I do travel with my laptop everywhere I go). 99% of the t…
The article is not talking about "bugs that can wait til Monday" or all night coding sessions. It's talking about emergencies that affect your customers that must be dealt with immediately. You've been with at least 5 startups in 9 years. That suggests to me that none of them were terribly successful, in which case I suppose just about any problem could wait til Monday. My startup has almost 20,000 paying customers a…
I'm not sure were you got that. I've been with 3 startups in 9 years. One of them continues to this day (and has been quite successful), one flamed out (1 year), and the current one (3.5 years old) is doing tremendously well (well into 7 figures yearly revenue).
I can't help but feel like you didn't really read my comment. It's a matter of triage. It's knowing the difference between a true emergency (the site is down and we're spending money to drive traffic) vs something that can wait (feature X has stopped working). Far too often the workaholics in the startup world are panicking to fix issues that can truly wait. It may be ugly and it may slightly torque off your customers, but it's not the type of issue that needs my immediate attention. In those cases (which are far and away the majority cases) I'm not going to stop my life down to fix those.
Re: What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.
#40Earlier quoted context omitted.
The article is not talking about "bugs that can wait til Monday" or all night coding sessions. It's talking about emergencies that affect your customers that must be dealt with immediately. You've been with at least 5 startups in 9 years. That suggests to me that none of them were terribly successful, in which case I suppose just about any problem could wait til Monday. My startup has almost 20,000 paying customers a…
I'm not sure were you got that. I've been with 3 startups in 9 years. One of them continues to this day (and has been quite successful), one flamed out (1 year), and the current one (3.5 years old) is doing tremendously well (well into 7 figures yearly revenue). I can't help but feel like you didn't really read my comment. It's a matter of triage. It's knowing the difference between a true emergency (the site is down…
From original comment: "I've been involved in startups for the last 9 years (the last 4 as a technical founder)."
He read the last part as the last 4 companies instead of years. FWIW that's also how I originally read it.