What it's like to be the SO of a start-up founder.

I feel the last part is just untrue. If s/he can't help in a coding capacity there are plenty of opportunities to help otherwise. It's akin to having a role in a family.

Not sure how I feel about this anecdote - the SO is unusually accommodating, and it may be tempting to interpret this story as inspiration not to worry about relationships when you're working on a startup. (Or any bursty, time-demanding job, really.)

I've done a couple of startups, and went back to school a few years ago. My husband is a game developer. So I think it's not unreasonable to claim some familiarity with these issues. =)

The key is communication - especially for men, who are not always inclined to talk about relationships unless something is obviously wrong. Remember, women initiate most divorces and most men have no idea it's coming! You need to touch base regularly and make sure that problems aren't building up.

Engineers, think of the Rule of Tens: It's ten times harder to fix a problem after it's become a pattern than when it's fresh, and a hundred times harder to fix if your partner is prepared to break up over it.

Also, be sure to set aside regular times to spend together, and do everything in your power to avoid being sucked back into work. Occasional lapses are okay, but you can't expect to be someone's highest priority when you put them at the bottom of your priorities.

That's true, and I didn't necessarily mean that the gf could/would help code the actual project, but having a knowledge of the logic or syntax could be useful. Sometimes there's just a semicolon missing somewhere (etc.) and fresh eyes are needed to spot it, and a basic understanding of coding/that particular language could help in those situations.

Agreed. Communication, early and often, is key. And like the blog appropriately notes: patience, respect and understanding.

Does this really happen? I've been involved in startups for the last 9 years (the last 4 as a technical founder). I can count on one hand the number of times I've pulled an all-nighter or even really worked through a weekend. Sure I work a bit more than the average person, but it's nothing like this.

I've had bugs popup on the weekend or during a vacation (and I do travel with my laptop everywhere I go). 99% of the time they fall into the 'we can live with that until Monday' category. My relationship with my wife and friends is simply too important to let something as trivial as a startup get in the way of it.

I just can't help but feel like we're continuing to romanticize this workaholic culture. That somehow to be a 'real' entrepreneur you have to turn your whole life over to it.

This is one place that I agree with the guys from 37 signals. You don't have to kill yourself to make a business go. You don't have to work 80 (or 120) hour weeks.

Starting a business is a marathon, and like all marathons it requires pacing. A large part of that is learning to separate the real emergencies from the perceived ones. Just because something isn't working, it doesn't mean that your business will fall over if it continues not to work for 48 hours. That sort of triage is really important if your going to maintain your sanity to get to the fourth year.

Just how I see it at least. My wife would certainly write a very different article than this one.