Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

I'm currently been employed by my employer for shy of 3 years. My employer was great for the first 6 months, but after that my boss turned into a huge pain and became verbally abusive. He often belittles me, calls me stupid, no common sense, etc. in front of the entire staff team, to the point it makes me physically sick to my stomach going to work for him. His boss (CEO) is his father, so trying to resolve this is impossible. I have attempted to raise concerns privately and only been treated worse by my boss.

I have been seeking new employment for over a year with no avail, at the point of desperation that I offered to work for half market rate. I've received no offers. The market where I live is bad this year.

What are my options? I have a family, I'm the sole earner, I'm forced to work 10-12 hours a day, with verbal abuse all day. I cannot merely quit, I won't have the money to provide for my family if I do.

Location: Canada

I have about $1000 saved, which won't pay the rent ($450 shy of the 1mo rent payment).

No

This is a shit situation to be in, but honestly until you have something lined up I wouldn't recommend doing anything just yet as you don't want to compromise your only source of income. Document everything but keep quiet and focus on the other issue which is that you need another job.

> The market where I live is bad this year.

In that case you might need to consider relocation - staying in a market that bad (no offer in a year of job hunting is crazy) would be a huge risk/liability anyway - imagine if you lost your next job. As shitty as this situation is, at least you are given the opportunity to look for a job on your own terms and not just suddenly shown the door.

Once you're out (and only then) you can look into getting back at them - talk to a lawyer and give them the documentation.

This. I was in an extreme situation like you were (boss abusive with everyone in the company, constant threats and sometimes physical abuse).

- First, see if you can find other employees in the same situation. Being a group helped us. - Document everything. Commit on git first thing in the morning, and before leaving. Write down every conversation you had right after you had them—we tend to forget very quickly. Dump your calendar and emails regularly. You can find scripts to dump Slack too. If your boss has written anything abusive them, it is also a good idea to take screenshots. - I guess moving is not an option for your family? Otherwise start looking in other markets. - Freelancing is a good option otherwise. I know it sucks to do this on top of your job, but you only to save enough to get yourself out of this.

Once you’re out, and only when you’re out, find a good lawyer. Do not hesitate to sue. It’s not greed, it’s reparation for the abuse. You deserve it.

Good luck to you.