U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person • Hacker News Board

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#191

Post by abledon » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:08 AM UTC

Zenst wrote: post #50

Zak wrote: post #14

Part of the issue, I think is that teenagers are more restricted by parents, laws, and business owners than they used to be. As with younger children, parents are less likely now than in past decades to allow their teenage children to travel alone or hang out in groups without adults present. Legal restrictions compound the issue, with curfew laws being increasingly common, as well as increased driving ages and gradu…

So true, in essence driving them into online friend interactions. Makes you wonder what life will be like for children 50 years from now, and how that would compare with today. After there was a time when making explosives was a childhood right of passage along with chemistry sets, making fires, even having a pocket knife. Today, such common activities would not end well at all, however innocent the intention. These…

"Makes you wonder what life will be like for children 50 years from now, and how that would compare with today."

I cringed watching the new ALITA: Battle Angel movie, (Spiritual successor to Avator, directed by James Cameron). There was a teen romance section where the android and hot guy went through the tropes (riding on the back of his bike hugging tight, sneaking into his bedroom, watching him put on a tight fitting shirt)

it was weird because in Japan they are intensely lonely with people paying for surrogate GF's etc... and the robot industries are starting to develop 'romance' robots.

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#192

Post by kilroy123 » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:10 AM UTC

philpem wrote: post #179

brightball wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FWIW, Cub Scouts / Boy Scouts are a pretty great place to get those same skills and experiences. Great opportunity to get a well rounded childhood.

They're great if you fit in with the group. If the group decides you're "different" in some way, you're going to get shunned, and shunned hard. Speaking from experience here. It works great for "normal" kids but for any kid even the slightest bit non-neurotypical, it's going to be absolute hell.

Can confirm I had a terrible experience and I'm weird. I was bullied and driven out.

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#193

Post by ashelmire » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:12 AM UTC

rygxqpbsngav wrote: post #187

> the drop accelerated after 2010 – just as smartphones use started to grow. Does anyone think not giving them access to phones till they go to college and encourage them instead to play sports with neighboring kids help? (assuming both neighbor parent agree to this!) Is that any practical anymore?

I think that’s a good idea. Of course, I was a teen right up until that dip (was 20 when the iPhone came out) and didn’t have a cell phone until college. But I was a computer geek, gamer, and script kiddie since middle school. But every other night in high school I was sneaking out to hang out with friends and girlfriends. Played sports every day. Our college years were also when binge drinking was more accepted and there were far more parties - colleges have cracked down hard on that.

Teens today seem very well behaved in comparison. But it seems like they don’t have much fun. We’ve given them outrage culture, a nanny state, and more restrictive schools though, so is this really surprising?

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#194

Post by burgerboy » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:31 AM UTC

abledon wrote: post #191

Zenst wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So true, in essence driving them into online friend interactions. Makes you wonder what life will be like for children 50 years from now, and how that would compare with today. After there was a time when making explosives was a childhood right of passage along with chemistry sets, making fires, even having a pocket knife. Today, such common activities would not end well at all, however innocent the intention. These…

"Makes you wonder what life will be like for children 50 years from now, and how that would compare with today." I cringed watching the new ALITA: Battle Angel movie, (Spiritual successor to Avator, directed by James Cameron). There was a teen romance section where the android and hot guy went through the tropes (riding on the back of his bike hugging tight, sneaking into his bedroom, watching him put on a tight fitt…

Lol spiritual successor to Avatar what the fuck are you talking about

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#195

Post by coldtea » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:45 AM UTC

brightball wrote: post #186

philpem wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They're great if you fit in with the group. If the group decides you're "different" in some way, you're going to get shunned, and shunned hard. Speaking from experience here. It works great for "normal" kids but for any kid even the slightest bit non-neurotypical, it's going to be absolute hell.

I didn't really fit into the group when I was a kid, but in hindsight I still gained a lot from them (including experience learning to better fit into groups).

That's part of it! People think there's supposed to be some total acceptance and peace and love.

Society is not like this, family is not like this, even with your spouse, kids, or brothers/sisters you wont be like this.

Being criticized, ostracized by some, shunned by others, also helps make someone learn to socialize (which includes conforming to a few norms, that's part of being into a society instead of alone in the jungle).

And there are two other things too:

1) Everyone gets some of that treatment (even the popular jocks for example get talked about behind their backs as brainless or whatever). People that act like they are the only recipients, are too self-absorbed to see it.

2) Not everything someone brings or who their character is is good to begin with, just because its "theirs" or "original" etc. The group can have some pathologies itself, but it can help shape everyone to be better too.

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#196

Post by i6mi6 » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:48 AM UTC

AmazingAtalanta wrote: post #188

I wonder if one of the biggest drivers of loneliness isn't necessarily that kids are spending more time on their phones or even that they have less face time with their friends, but that their social media can tell them more about what their friends are doing when they aren't together. First, everyone knows people curate their social media presence so that they look cool and that they are doing fun things. Second, if…

I fully agree about the FOMO part and would add that this also drives “competition” in those experiencing it by making them try to also look “interesting” and on their part causing FOMO in someone else. This also reduces the actual enjoyment in a specific activity and promotes seeking validation and trying to look like you are having fun without it being the case which fuels more dissatisfaction.

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#197

Post by Ntrails » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:49 AM UTC

DanBC wrote: post #154

chillingeffect wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow, so if I, say buy a cooking knife and get "caught" carrying it home from the store, "A court will decide if you’ve got a good reason to carry a knife if you’re charged with carrying it illegally." Or if I take a chef's knife to a friend's house to cook dinner with them, the same court will intervene? Presumably following an arrest? That second link is just so creepy to me (pacifist American). I can see how it use…

You've been given misinformation. If you're carrying a cooking knife there's no reason to stop you or search you. But if somehow there is a reason to stop and search you, and you have your new knife in its packaging with a receipt the police will say "what's this?" and you'll say "it's a cooking knife I've just bought and am taking home" and they'll say no more about it unless eg you have a conviction for stabbing pe…

Precisely. I could entirely legally carry my knife roll on the train up to my friend in Leeds, and if stopped explain "I'm intending to cook whilst there, these are my knives for doing so". The police have every right to corroborate this story, but there is no crime there.

The thing I've potentially fallen foul of is a chunky pocket knife I keep with my climbing/camping gear bag and have on occasion forgotten to remove before going to indoor walls in London. I suspect I'd potentially be told off a bit for that, but again no fear of being charged with anything.

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#198

Post by abledon » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:50 AM UTC

hbosch wrote: post #49

bitxbit wrote: post #42

The sense of community is gone. And it really takes a village to raise a child but that’s disappeared in the US outside of small rural communities.

No, sense of community is actually stronger than ever I think. But those communities are less geographic and much more ideological. The communal bond these days happens more in ideas and beliefs than in physical proximity. Social media made it so, and this shifted sense of community has given rise to increasingly radical and extreme ideologies — but also much stronger bonds in my opinion.

"The communal bond these days happens more in ideas and beliefs than in physical proximity"

Ideas & Beliefs aren't gonna change a stinky Diaper. Or Drive over to your house and take care of your kid for an evening when you are _BEAT_ down by life and need a break.

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#199

Post by dsfyu404ed » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:51 AM UTC

DanBC wrote: post #154

chillingeffect wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow, so if I, say buy a cooking knife and get "caught" carrying it home from the store, "A court will decide if you’ve got a good reason to carry a knife if you’re charged with carrying it illegally." Or if I take a chef's knife to a friend's house to cook dinner with them, the same court will intervene? Presumably following an arrest? That second link is just so creepy to me (pacifist American). I can see how it use…

You've been given misinformation. If you're carrying a cooking knife there's no reason to stop you or search you. But if somehow there is a reason to stop and search you, and you have your new knife in its packaging with a receipt the police will say "what's this?" and you'll say "it's a cooking knife I've just bought and am taking home" and they'll say no more about it unless eg you have a conviction for stabbing pe…

So convicted criminals and people with restraining orders have to have someone straw purchase the items required to have a properly outfitted kitchen?

In one of the Chinese social credit comment threads someone said "well of course people who haven't run a foul of an authoritarian system generally approve of it" and I think that applies here too.

Re: U.S. teens are spending less time with their friends in person

#200

Post by Phenix88be » Wed, Mar 27, 2019, 11:52 AM UTC

strken wrote: post #149

cududa wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dunno, when I did cub scouts / Boy Scouts even 20 years ago it was basically glorified arts and crafts

When I did it about 15 years ago we got dumped in a fenced in bit of eucalypt forest with our pockets stuffed with "normal" items like knives/shoelaces/mueslibars/1.25L bottles of water/first aid kits and told to survive for 24 hours. Granted it's almost impossible to actually get yourself killed in 24 hours, we had quick access to leaders if we needed them, and we were all relatively trustworthy kids who'd trained f…

I think a lot of parents would refuse such exercise today since they precious children could get hurt. I also think no one will do it anyway since parent will hold you responsible for any scratchs or dommages.

> Granted it's almost impossible to actually get yourself killed in 24 hours

You should not under estimate the stupid thing children/adolescent can do today...