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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#171
I think a big part of this is consent. My kids know I post their photo on Facebook/Instagram. They pick which one, and even tell me to "like" it after it's posted.

It brings up the question of how old they need to be (my kid was about 3-4 when she started telling us to put up her photos). But I guess we can always remove it later, and just don't put anything embarrassing up there.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#172
I made an X.500 OSI directory services entry for my eighteen month old child. This was in 1993 twelve years later he had to ask me to try and delete it. It was still popping up in searches for his name and he didn't like it. It was remarkably hard to erase since the quipu directory was basically offline then and the data only existed in Wayback style archives.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#174
post #171

I think a big part of this is consent. My kids know I post their photo on Facebook/Instagram. They pick which one, and even tell me to "like" it after it's posted. It brings up the question of how old they need to be (my kid was about 3-4 when she started telling us to put up her photos). But I guess we can always remove it later, and just don't put anything embarrassing up there.

I think you're right.

How can a 3-4 year old give meaningful consent to having her biometrics irrevocably recorded by one of the world's most aggressive and pernicious surveillance corporations? How fully did your kids understand all the implications of posting photos on social media before you agreed to do it?

> But I guess we can always remove it later

No. You can't. Maybe you can ask FB to stop showing the photo to other people, and maybe they'll comply, but FB will still retain it and any data derived from it (e.g., facial biometric data). Other people could have saved that photo and could re-post it at any time. Or FB could have a bug and that photo could resurface.

Once something is published on the www, there are no backsies. This is something every parent these days needs to impress upon their children. I'm honestly shocked that you, fellow HN poster, need to learn this lesson, too.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#175

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

I never thought about it until yesterday, when my daughter asked that we take a "selfie" together; I thought it was a great picture and put it on Instagram. Later she wanted to browse through my pictures and asked me, shocked: "You put that on Instagram?!" I had never really considered it to be an issue (I have a private account, pictures only get shared with friends family), but thinking more on it- she really shoul…

A few years ago now I had a slightly distant cousin ask if she could take photos of my nephew and I thought needing to ask was some ridiculous paranoia about pedophiles or something, she's family, of course she can take photos.

Now you've made me wonder if "can I take a photo" carries an implicit "and share them around the world" with it. In hindsight as someone constantly being forced into photos it seems to.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#176
My wife and I don’t use Facebook or Instagram. When we have children I plan to setup an email account for them. I’ll document their life by sending them photos and messages as they grow up. If something ever happens to me they’ll know how much I cared about them. When they’re old enough they can choose what parts of their childhood they want shared with the public.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#177
post #83

This seems to me (albeit as a probably completely unqualified person to have a real viewpoint here, as a 50ish male without children) to be much ado about nothing. Somehow, perhaps because of the pervasiveness of social media, the sense of self has expanded quite a great deal. In a family, and later in public life, we don't have the right to control how we are perceived in the public. (I know some countries in the EU…

> Just as the daughter has the right to not share herself or her life on social media, I don't believe she has the right to demand approval of her mother's or sister's posts. A legal right? Absolutely not. A moral right? Absolutely. Knowingly disclosing information about someone that that person has expressly confirmed they would like to remain private is certainly not a friendly act. When the parties involved are in…

> Such a betrayal can permanently damage that relationship.

The demand also damages the relationship.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#179
post #44

Kids realizing they already have an online presence made by the people who were teaching them about being responsible about their online presence is becoming A Thing. Two other stories with similar circumstances: "When Kids Realize Their Whole Life Is Already Online" https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/when-... "My daughter asked me to stop writing about motherhood. Here’s why I can’t do that." htt…

That's not far from doxxing or harrassment (from the child's point of view).

Can those kids contact website support to have it all removed, or relatives accounts suspended? If a stranger posted about your kid, the consequences would be something else and of different magnitude.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#180

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

I made the same decision. My daughter is now 5, no social media pictures of her. I do share pictures of her to a few family members over Google Photos, and I keep track of her life in a private email account that I will give to her when she turns 13.
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