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Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

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Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#201

Post by sagarm »

petercooper wrote: post #108

I wouldn't go quite as far as "messed up" but between 2003-2007 I was frequently hassled by people to "buy a house" because it "never goes down (much) in value." I argued that that was a nonsensical claim, although over the previous 30 years it was pretty much true (the UK dip in the early 1990s was quite short and localized). In mid 2007 I noticed prices continuing to go up and up and bit the bullet. Naturally, I ex…

Your obligations are spelled out in the contract, and defaulting is (normally) a legitimate course of action.

The bank and you made a mutually beneficial contract: the bank loans you money, and in return you promise to give them back their money plus interest or your collateral. If you've elected to assign a moral value to one of your options, it can only hurt you.

I've never done this myself, so definitely make sure you know what you're getting into.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#202

Post by evgeny0 »

kadavy wrote: post #185

"You should buy a house - it's the best investment you can make!" This was the advice I was given countless times when I lived in Nebraska in the early 00's, at my first job out of college. Thank God I didn't listen. It just didn't make any sense: I was 23 years old, had plenty of talent, and could't wait to get out of Nebraska, but I was supposed to buy a house? I couldn't think of a worse way to spend my money, tim…

+1 I think many people like houses as investments because they FEEL so "real" and tangible - you can touch them! Feelings are not a good way to decide what to invest in, however.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#203

Post by syllogism »

evgeny0 wrote: post #202
kadavy wrote: post #185

"You should buy a house - it's the best investment you can make!" This was the advice I was given countless times when I lived in Nebraska in the early 00's, at my first job out of college. Thank God I didn't listen. It just didn't make any sense: I was 23 years old, had plenty of talent, and could't wait to get out of Nebraska, but I was supposed to buy a house? I couldn't think of a worse way to spend my money, tim…

+1 I think many people like houses as investments because they FEEL so "real" and tangible - you can touch them! Feelings are not a good way to decide what to invest in, however.

People also like houses because they've seen them go up all their life. In their anecdotal experience, it was the best investment. But the fact that house prices rocketed up in their lifetime is exactly the problem! People think it's a good investment for precisely the reason it's a terrible investment!

The property bubble in Australia hasn't burst yet, so I'm still listening to this. It's painful. Sometimes I find it hard not to advise people to sell their houses now...

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#204

Post by hackerblues »

j_baker wrote: post #82
rfrey wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it doesn't. Introverts are perfectly capable of overcoming their personality tendencies. Introversion or extraversion refer to your natural inclination, but it determines nothing.

Back up a minute... "Introverts are perfectly capable of overcoming their personality tendencies." The first thing you're assuming is that introverts either want or need to overcome their introversion. There isn't anything wrong with being an introvert. There is something wrong with being an extreme introvert.

I'm fairly introverted myself so I can relate to the notion of just spending time by myself and feeling quite happy about it. However, you miss out on so many opportunities.

I just moved overseas to a new university and I've been forcing myself to go to many, many talks and chat with the people there. Some huge proportion of time I walk away with some useful bit of information "You have to read the new paper by x! It covers exactly what you're looking for." or "Y just got a grant and is looking for PhD students in your area."

Every connection you make adds potential access to another life times experience and knowledge.

[I'm vaguely expecting you to weasle word "Ah, but not doing that is being an /extreme/ introvert."]

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#205

Post by syllogism »

Xurinos wrote: post #104
j_baker wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm honestly not sure I'm understanding you properly, but if I am, this is true up to a point . We like to believe in a world where everyone's results are directly correlated with how much work they've done, but that's just as much a fantasy as it is to believe that all you have to do is sit around and wait for the right opportunity to magically appear. I hate to break it to you, but the most successful people in soc…

I hate to break it to you, but the most successful people in society usually got there not only from hard work but from being in the right place at the right time. According to studies on "luck", one key is to be in a LOT of places. It increases your chance of being in some right place at some right time. Another key is a positive attitude, of seeing opportunities and taking advantage of them. So it is difficult to t…

The best way I've heard this described is, you've got to maximise your luck surface area.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#206

Post by hackerblues »

nostrademons wrote: post #61
mduvall wrote: post #2

Everybody in college pretends to be not working hard as they like to admit, thus the advice that comes from colleagues along the lines of "don't do the homework, it's really a waste of time" when everybody is actually doing it, could screw you over. It didn't mess up my life per se, but definitely had an impact on my grades when I was a naive freshman.

It's funny, all the advice I had from upperclassmen when I started college was "do your homework and go to class", and I did neither, and I don't regret it at all. Yes, it hurt my grades. However, I've found that my grades haven't mattered at all.

Given grades are correlated with having understood the material, I assume the implication is that the material you might have learned but didn't hasn't been at all relevant.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#207

Post by hackerblues »

masterj wrote: post #177
mduvall wrote: post #2

Everybody in college pretends to be not working hard as they like to admit, thus the advice that comes from colleagues along the lines of "don't do the homework, it's really a waste of time" when everybody is actually doing it, could screw you over. It didn't mess up my life per se, but definitely had an impact on my grades when I was a naive freshman.

> Everybody in college pretends to be not working hard as they like to admit My experience was the exact opposite. People liked to compete to see who had the most coursework to do. People would complain about having to pull all nighters, but still spend hours on youtube or facebook beforehand. Some people were genuinely overwhelmed with work, but it was never downplayed as far as I could tell.

I have been told that it might be a cultural thing by someone who has studied in the UK and the US. US = overplay amount of work done, UK = under play it.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#208

Post by resdirector »

jdietrich wrote: post #157

Never, never, not in a million years, listen to a single word of advice uttered by someone who isn't happy with their life. They have absolutely nothing to teach you. This is strong stuff, granted, but I think it is tremendously important. Every single piece of bad advice I have ever received was from someone who didn't like their life. If you're unhappy, you have two basic options. You can do something to make yours…

> Never, never, not in a million years, listen to a single word of advice uttered by someone who isn't happy with their life. They have absolutely nothing to teach you.

What about what-not-to-do advice?

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#210

Post by mping »

irahul wrote: post #195
jdietrich wrote: post #157

Never, never, not in a million years, listen to a single word of advice uttered by someone who isn't happy with their life. They have absolutely nothing to teach you. This is strong stuff, granted, but I think it is tremendously important. Every single piece of bad advice I have ever received was from someone who didn't like their life. If you're unhappy, you have two basic options. You can do something to make yours…

I don't agree. As already point, many philosophers, scientists, programmers have been bitter people, largely unhappy with life. Some people are bitter by design. No matter what I do, I will always have many complains to be unhappy about. Right now, I am trying to boot-up my startup. If it doesn't work, I will be bitter. If it works out, I will be bitter about my other pet peeve - schools killing creativity and I woul…

I believe that unless you are chemically, neurologically or biologically imbalanced, there's no excuse to be bitter or unhappy. I won't discuss happiness here, but even if the advice of some bitter person is good, I would say that an advice of a person who I lookup to will always be "better".

Of course, things should be placed in context. An advice of a bitter math teacher on mathematics will always be better than an advice from a happy ignorant person.

On a personal note, don't be bitter. You can accomplish the same without the bitterness, it's just weighing you down.

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