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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#131

Post by matz1 »

jpfed wrote: post #71
gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

>There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

Its more practical to teach the younger generation to assume that everything is public by default and equip them with necessary skill to deal with this. At least thats what I will teach my kid.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#132

Post by stuaxo »

MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

I've done exactly the same, with the exception of google photos, but I'll probably pull that by the time she gets a bit further into toddlerhood.

While you can't prevent everything, I've only asked people to take pics down a couple of times and they've been understanding.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#133

Post by asdff »

clarkmoody wrote: post #49

I love the idea of data locality: your home server contains your trove of photos, videos, music, and you grant limited shares to visitors. The digital equivalent of pulling out the photo album from under the coffee table. This sort of idea dovetails nicely with the Secure Scuttlebutt concept that the social network graph mirrors the physical network: you swap the latest posts with others as you find yourself on the s…

Why build a home server and sit every family member down to teach them how to ssh and ftp when you can just have a dropbox/icoud/onedrive/etc that is already plug and play and out of the way of the user? You take a photo and it's on icloud immediately and synced to every account and machine. It would be great to have your own home server and be off the grid or whatever but that's just a tall order for a lot of people's computer skills, and if you start selling these theoretical easy to use home servers and dominate the market suddenly you wake up and you are also the big bad dropbox/icloud/onedrive/etc central entity.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#134

Post by Mediterraneo10 »

Jaruzel wrote: post #110
clarkmoody wrote: post #49

I love the idea of data locality: your home server contains your trove of photos, videos, music, and you grant limited shares to visitors. The digital equivalent of pulling out the photo album from under the coffee table. This sort of idea dovetails nicely with the Secure Scuttlebutt concept that the social network graph mirrors the physical network: you swap the latest posts with others as you find yourself on the s…

Commercialise a shiny black box that plugs into the power (like a Wifi Extender), that: 1. Connects to the internet 2. uPnPs silently port 80 to itself 3. Registers a name with a dynamic DNS service (remember those?) 4. Has ~4GB local storage 5. Runs a 'newsfeed' type web portal or API. 6. Has a Phone app for easy sharing/creation of content. Make this 100% turnkey for non-technical people and you MAY have a chance a…

> uPnPs silently port 80 to itself

Besides the fact that in the post-Let’s Encrypt world we should start expecting port 443 by default for any web service, for many ISPs running a publicly accessible server violates the terms of service unless your contract with the ISP is their business tier.

To make things worse, a lot of people are issued a router by their ISP where uPnP is disabled, and they do not have access to its firmware to change this or other settings.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#136

Post by asdff »

aboutruby wrote: post #25

Being anonymous or more likely pseudo-anonymous is very undervalued. I think there is already a trend but in the future people are likely to have many pseudo-anonymous identities and one public one with as few data possible and as curated as possible.

Even Kevin Durant has burner twitter handles for flaming.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#137

Post by jpfed »

godshatter wrote: post #128
jpfed wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

How permanent would such a thing be in the long run, though? I ask this as someone who will soon have to download their G+ data before the service is shut off in a couple of weeks. Not to mention the recent MySpace debacle where a lot of data was lost due to a system migration. Also, the assumption of privacy is nice, but how private is it actually? For example, you'd have to break into my house and steal my photo al…

The thing about G+ is that it wasn't their core business. There are a lot of replies to my comment talking about existing solutions... which are also peripheral to the companies offering them. I hope that at some point someone makes what I described their core business, with the ability to get your data out painlessly as a hedge against the finite lifetime of the service.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#138

Post by asdff »

penciljencil wrote: post #52

When I was a child my parents would consistently tell me that I should never put details about myself on the internet. But when Facebook became a thing it was suddenly okay to share pictures of your birthday party with complete strangers. Personally, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of my photos being taken out of context and used in a way that I wouldn't agree with. Oddly enough, most of my friends don't see t…

When Facebook first became a thing you only added people you knew, rejecting friend requests from people you didn't, so it didn't feel as weird to share a group photo from your birthday party. When I first joined the site I really only added my friends and acquaintances from school, I wouldn't even add relatives unless they were around my age.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#139

Post by oarsinsync »

asdff wrote: post #127
JimBrimble35 wrote: post #89

Why quit? Why not just tell your parents to make their accounts private, or remove the images that you're not comfortable with? I feel like there are solutions here that don't involve delaying the parent's participation in social media until the child is old enough to choose to accept it. As much as this concerns the child's social media life, it's also a matter of the parent's experience. Parents post this stuff to…

People have been sharing wallet photos of their kids for generations now, no one has a problem with that because you are basically saying "here's what my kid looks like these days" or "didn't he look like uncle dave in this picture? same nose," all very benign and also maintaining the kids privacy on their daily life, their feelings, and embarrassments and failures that can be so demoralizing when you are a kid. When…

Indeed, my kids did not ask to be in their own real life truman show. Their lives are theirs to live, not for the rest of the world (or even extended family and friends) to constantly observe.

We take a lot of pictures and videos of our kids, but we don't share almost all of it. I keep everything backed up safe with the intention of handing it all over to the kids once they're old enough. They're the subjects of the pictures, they're the owners.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#140

Post by kbenson »

gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

> There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. It makes the experience much more valuable than blasting out content for everyone to see.

While I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment, and mostly agree with the idea, a part of me sees that only as a change in scale. As someone that doesn't really partake in social media sharing (I use FB for event notification) or take many pictures, I see parallels between sharing the album and posting online. I've had plenty of embarrassing childhood photos shown. Generally the only difference is time from the event.

I mean, it's not like a couple hundred years ago we even had the option to do this (other than the obscenely rich getting portraits painted).

I note all this because I find often when it appears it's just scale that makes a difference, that's just hiding the real things that are causing concern (or perhaps we should also be concerned to some degree about the small scale as well). So in this case, is sharing an album really all that much better? If so, is it because of temporal distance to the events, reduced group size per sharing instance (the overall size might be the same, over time), or sharing with people that aren't in some tighter group (or some combination thereof)?

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