I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me • Hacker News Board

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#121

Post by samayylmao » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:10 PM UTC

fhood wrote: post #50

samayylmao wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I respectfully disagree. Children have a right to their own privacy from the rest of the world and it is a parents' responsibility to respect that. My son is only 11 months old but neither my wife, our family/friends, or myself post pictures of him or any intimate details on social media. They can be shared privately but not on social media.

I think it goes even deeper than that. I firmly believe in my own right to privacy, but as an adult, I also have some understanding of the consequences and implications of my actions, and this informs what I do, and what I share. Children do not and cannot have this luxury. They should not be held responsible for their choices and actions in the way that adults are, and a part of this is ensuring that their life is n…

Good point, I should have said "responsibility to ensure that" instead of "responsibility to respect that". Parents have the responsibility of protecting their child's privacy.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#122

Post by asdff » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:13 PM UTC

sacado2 wrote: post #31

gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

Yes. The last generation was taught from a very young age that what you put online is available for all, and learned from the mistakes of their older siblings / parents. I see way more "controversial" content on facebook / instagram from my older friends than from the younger ones.

Lets not speak to soon until we see this gen at adult age. The self censor in the past was that college admissions will dig for your social media pages. I remember in high school people changed their names on Facebook until they were accepted to their colleges. One kid at another local school got an offer rescinded over a tweet even back then. Once these kids got their first jobs after college, then my feed was a deluge of psuedoscience, political bait, and multi level marketing, all of which these same people would have avoided posting during highschool out of fear of consequence, and now that they are employed adults there are seemingly no repercussions, to them at least.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#123

Post by ljf » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:14 PM UTC

jpfed wrote: post #71

gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

>There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

google photos stores all your images and videos for free (well it downscales them to 14m if they are over) - but for most people this is essentially free and forever. You can choose to share images and folders/albums - or even share everything. You can also ask it to pull from folders on your phone or computer - so every time I take a new photo it is saved.

It then does nice 'reminders' of your images and videos from years back.

This plus google docs if you want to save private writings has you pretty much covered.

I am very happy to be off social media now - my vague replacement is sharing things to Whatsapp with selected friends and family.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#124

Post by teekert » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:15 PM UTC

It's almost unimaginable that a 14y/o is so wise. I was going to yell "Fraud!" but Fast Company seems trustworthy and the last sentences suggest it really was a 14 y/o. Amazing, when I was 14 I was like an 8 y/o compared to this girl.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#125

Post by dragonwriter » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:19 PM UTC

jpfed wrote: post #71

gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

>There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

> My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

Really, the only reason Google’s collection of online services (Google One, basically,though the individual services mostly are older than that bundling) falls down here is that several of them use unguessable URLs and URL sharing as the private sharing mechanism (at least for read only sharing), instead of revocable access delegation.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#126

Post by dqpb » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:20 PM UTC

Insanity wrote: post #12

franciscojgo wrote: post #4

I'm more surprised by the story telling and narrative of the 14 year old author! Impressed. Pretty sure the only thing I was worrying about when 14 was how to get past the min. word count and not use "however" so much.

Indeed, really impressive. It also impressed me to see what she's involved in at school: > Sonia Bokhari is an 8th grader and a persuasive and narrative writer. She is also the leader of her middle school’s Gay-Straight Alliance and a member of the school’s Environmental Club. She might not be the average 14yo :)

Wait, so she's not an engineer? - "We are also the next generation of engineers and innovators"

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#127

Post by asdff » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:22 PM UTC

JimBrimble35 wrote: post #89

Why quit? Why not just tell your parents to make their accounts private, or remove the images that you're not comfortable with? I feel like there are solutions here that don't involve delaying the parent's participation in social media until the child is old enough to choose to accept it. As much as this concerns the child's social media life, it's also a matter of the parent's experience. Parents post this stuff to…

People have been sharing wallet photos of their kids for generations now, no one has a problem with that because you are basically saying "here's what my kid looks like these days" or "didn't he look like uncle dave in this picture? same nose," all very benign and also maintaining the kids privacy on their daily life, their feelings, and embarrassments and failures that can be so demoralizing when you are a kid. When you start religiously blogging your child's daily life, I'd say you have an unhealthy obsession toward social validation and it's unfair to your kid to use them to further your obsession.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#128

Post by godshatter » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:22 PM UTC

jpfed wrote: post #71

gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

>There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

How permanent would such a thing be in the long run, though? I ask this as someone who will soon have to download their G+ data before the service is shut off in a couple of weeks. Not to mention the recent MySpace debacle where a lot of data was lost due to a system migration.

Also, the assumption of privacy is nice, but how private is it actually? For example, you'd have to break into my house and steal my photo album to see pictures of me as a baby.

Not trying to be contrary, I guess I just don't resonate with social media that much. A private personal archive of my data would be one that I control on my own devices. I treat posting to the cloud, in whatever form, as making it public despite whatever assurances they have about privacy, unless it's something like my taxes or banking information where there are strict laws involved.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#129

Post by dragonwriter » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:22 PM UTC

ljf wrote: post #123

jpfed wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

google photos stores all your images and videos for free (well it downscales them to 14m if they are over) - but for most people this is essentially free and forever. You can choose to share images and folders/albums - or even share everything. You can also ask it to pull from folders on your phone or computer - so every time I take a new photo it is saved. It then does nice 'reminders' of your images and videos from…

The one problem (as far as owner privacy/access control) with these Google services is that the read-only sharing method is essentially irrevocable (without moving the item in a way which causes Google to host it at a different URL) and infinitely resharable by anyone who gets access independent of the owner.

As I discussed here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19444392

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#130

Post by jdlyga » Wed, Mar 20, 2019, 5:24 PM UTC

Facebook launched when I was in college, and we were taught to treat it as a way of sharing pictures with your friends. We never got any training on what to share, what not to share, how permanent an online presence is, or anything since we were the first to use that sort of thing. It was just expected that new parents would post everything about their kid on there. Because you had that illusion of that it was "just for your friends". Most other social media sites like Xanga acted that way, and were usually gone within a few years. I think we have a lot to learn from Gen Z about the implications of making everything public and the dangers of social media. Because I can tell you that us millennials never learned any of that stuff except from news reports and by making mistakes.