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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

fastcompany.com

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#41

Post by linuxftw »

gabbygab wrote: post #21
wallflower wrote: post #2

A few parents have always tried to use their kids as a means for more than attention (fame, money, power). Now that advertisers see the influence that a few parents have, they are rabid with dollars. On the far left side of the power law curve of that, we have: “Online and Making Thousands, at Age 4: Meet the Kidfluencers“ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/01/business/media/social-med... https://news.ycombinator.com/it…

You mean like the british royal family? Politicians? Movie stars? Which the news exploits for money as well? It's so funny how the media pushes neverending anti-social media stories and yet exploits children themselves for money. Is it okay when the elites and the news industry does it but not when ordinary people do it?

It's important that society maintains the illusion of fame through talent. If we decentralize our entertainment, the established political class has much less authority.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#42

Post by gabbygab »

She quits social media and writes a public article in traditional media so that people can talk even more about her?

Is this her idea or the idea of her mother who probably is friends with someone working at fastcompany?

I'd be interested to find out how a "random" 8th grader got to write an article for fastcompany and if she or her family has any ties with anyone at fastcompany or even Mehta, the editor.

Also, couldn't this also be viewed as fastcompany exploiting an 8th grader for money and agenda? And is this girl's parents any better than the social media parents?

The internal contradictions and hypocrisy in this article is quite something to behold.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#43

Post by honkycat »

I'm free of most social media. I only have a twitter, which I use to wile away time and keep up with bands going to my local music venus.

I have considered resurrecting my social media presence lately. I live a long ways away from my parents. I think it is kind-of nice to allow my parents to form a para-social bond with my online presence. Just so they can see how I am doing.

However, I keep coming back to the same mantra about social media: There is no wisdom here. I love learning, reading, experimenting with new hobbies. I am lifelong learner. Social media does not enhance that.

I tend to be a spitfire, and chewing out old people on facebook is NOT a good look. I do not want my past social media posts to come back to haunt me.

Also, I get a lot of anxiety when I am on social media. Old friends, old lovers, all of these messy complicated situations and people I have moved away from. Dragging all of that back up... no thanks.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#44

Post by scott_s »

Kids realizing they already have an online presence made by the people who were teaching them about being responsible about their online presence is becoming A Thing. Two other stories with similar circumstances:

"When Kids Realize Their Whole Life Is Already Online" https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/when-...

"My daughter asked me to stop writing about motherhood. Here’s why I can’t do that." https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/01/03/my-daugh...

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#45

Post by malvosenior »

coldtea wrote: post #20

> When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed. Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like. It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on. It's only embarrassing to her because she's 1…

She said her mom and sister's profiles were public. I think that's definitely cause for feeling betrayed and very different from having a private profile and sharing with friends/family.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#46

Post by IshKebab »

franciscojgo wrote: post #4

I'm more surprised by the story telling and narrative of the 14 year old author! Impressed. Pretty sure the only thing I was worrying about when 14 was how to get past the min. word count and not use "however" so much.

She definitely didn't write this as-is. No 14-year-old writes this well. It feels as it if was the result of an interview, transcribed by an adult into the first person.

"How did you feel? Did you feel betrayed?" "Yeah I guess. It's embarrassing."

=> "I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed."

Also this...

> I feel like I’m being spared from what could potentially be dangerous for me at such a young age.

... is definitely written by an adult. For one thing, 14 year olds don't think they are young.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#47

Post by interfixus »

coldtea wrote: post #20

> When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed. Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like. It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on. It's only embarrassing to her because she's 1…

I don't know this girl or these people, I'm quite a few generations older than 13, and it's embarrassing to me even reading about it. I hope - and believe - my own offspring would seriously cut me off if ever I did such a thing. At least that's the way I raised them.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#48

Post by _jal »

beamatronic wrote: post #24
ravenstine wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One of the reasons I left Facebook was the amount of web presence people give their young children. It's not that I don't think children are adorable. I'm talking about parents who have a baby and then spend every day posting photos about every event in the child's life. I know 3 people in my relatively small circle who have been posting on behalf of their children for years . Maybe I'm a freak, but I think there's s…

To your point about strangers: There are two basic ways to use social media: public to the world and friends only. I feel like the first is a non starter, do you feel the same about the second use-case?

Your description of the second omits participants: FB and their hundreds of "partners".

Of course their participation is much different than what you're thinking of, but those unknown databases should be part of the calculation.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#49

Post by clarkmoody »

I love the idea of data locality: your home server contains your trove of photos, videos, music, and you grant limited shares to visitors. The digital equivalent of pulling out the photo album from under the coffee table.

This sort of idea dovetails nicely with the Secure Scuttlebutt concept that the social network graph mirrors the physical network: you swap the latest posts with others as you find yourself on the same local network.

Perhaps someday we will live in a more sophisticated world that relies less on centralized cloud providers and everyone runs a home server. Stories of youth pushing back against social media are certainly a step in the right direction.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#50

Post by fhood »

samayylmao wrote: post #29
coldtea wrote: post #20

> When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed. Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like. It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on. It's only embarrassing to her because she's 1…

I respectfully disagree. Children have a right to their own privacy from the rest of the world and it is a parents' responsibility to respect that. My son is only 11 months old but neither my wife, our family/friends, or myself post pictures of him or any intimate details on social media. They can be shared privately but not on social media.

I think it goes even deeper than that. I firmly believe in my own right to privacy, but as an adult, I also have some understanding of the consequences and implications of my actions, and this informs what I do, and what I share.

Children do not and cannot have this luxury. They should not be held responsible for their choices and actions in the way that adults are, and a part of this is ensuring that their life is not documented with the level of permanency that is inherent in the internet.

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