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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#11

Post by delecti »

1zee wrote: post #7
MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

What is "old enough"?

Obviously it's subjective and up to them, but if they're in the US, 13 seems to be a reasonable benchmark.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children%27s_Online_Privacy_Pr...

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#12

Post by Insanity »

franciscojgo wrote: post #4

I'm more surprised by the story telling and narrative of the 14 year old author! Impressed. Pretty sure the only thing I was worrying about when 14 was how to get past the min. word count and not use "however" so much.

Indeed, really impressive. It also impressed me to see what she's involved in at school:

> Sonia Bokhari is an 8th grader and a persuasive and narrative writer. She is also the leader of her middle school’s Gay-Straight Alliance and a member of the school’s Environmental Club.

She might not be the average 14yo :)

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#13

Post by MattBearman »

jedimastert wrote: post #8
MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

We did the same thing. We told my inlaws that before she was born and my mother-in-law still posted my daughter's birth announcement before my wife was done with skin to skin. She would not stop taking pictures in the post-partum room.

Aw that sucks! We had a similar thing. Told everyone during the pregnancy that we didn't want it on facebook, and MIL still posted information on Facebook.

We deliberately didn't tell anyone when my wife went into labour, as she didn't want anyone else there.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#14

Post by ravenstine »

MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

One of the reasons I left Facebook was the amount of web presence people give their young children.

It's not that I don't think children are adorable. I'm talking about parents who have a baby and then spend every day posting photos about every event in the child's life. I know 3 people in my relatively small circle who have been posting on behalf of their children for years.

Maybe I'm a freak, but I think there's something seriously messed up with having one's life broadcasted to strangers. I'm not saying that it's bad to include updates about/with one's children occasionally in social media posts, but I think it's wrong to make a child's entire life an open book without their consent.

Worst of all, it's not really about the child. I mean, it kind of is, but it's mostly for the parents to feel good.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#15

Post by gringoDan »

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides.

I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. It makes the experience much more valuable than blasting out content for everyone to see.

Makes me think that Gen Z is much wiser than the Millennials. People coming of age today are much more cautious than those who did 5-10 years ago (lots of drunken party photos on Facebook, etc). They understand the consequences of having information in the world that never goes away.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#16

Post by jaredcwhite »

We've always been protective of our young children's presence on social media, because of all of these concerns. (Bravo to the author for articulating them so well!)

One of the big challenges has been other people (family members, etc.) who want to take pictures of our kids or record some funny quote and post it on THEIR profiles. We as the parents don't always have control over that (and we've had to request more than once that somebody take something down they posted). It's awkward all around, and I'm not sure what the solution is other than developing manners as a society (just like people have been trained to write SPOILER ALERT before they blab about a movie in comments or whatever).

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#17

Post by MattBearman »

ravenstine wrote: post #14
MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

One of the reasons I left Facebook was the amount of web presence people give their young children. It's not that I don't think children are adorable. I'm talking about parents who have a baby and then spend every day posting photos about every event in the child's life. I know 3 people in my relatively small circle who have been posting on behalf of their children for years . Maybe I'm a freak, but I think there's s…

I totally agree, I deactivated my Facebook a few years back. We use WhatsApp to share pictures and information about our baby with close friends and family, just hope the end-to-end encryption is legit. One big concern for me was the idea of Facebook having a 'shadow profile' of our daughter without our consent.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#18

Post by taude »

franciscojgo wrote: post #4

I'm more surprised by the story telling and narrative of the 14 year old author! Impressed. Pretty sure the only thing I was worrying about when 14 was how to get past the min. word count and not use "however" so much.

Probably went through some professional editing before publishing....

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#19

Post by austincheney »

1zee wrote: post #7
MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

What is "old enough"?

114. A better question is at what age do social media participants stop being toxic or easily offended?

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#20

Post by coldtea »

>When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed.

Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like.

It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on.

It's only embarrassing to her because she's 13. When she's older, she will cringe that she used to be embarrassed about such a thing.

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