"Go to college, get a degree, and get a good GPA."
It isn't that this is necessarily bad advice. It's just that it was bad advice for me.
Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
71–80 of 248 posts
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#72Not from any specific person, but the idea that you have to step outside your comfort zone and do X and Y even though it doesn't come naturally to you. Every time I did that things got messed up and I ended up worse than I was before. If you're outside your comfort zone, you will act in non-authentic ways, and when you're not being authentic, you can't be the best possible you. Examples of stepping outside comfort zo…
The idea behind stepping outside of your comfort zone is that you keep doing it until it becomes your new comfort zone. If you're not ready to invest the effort needed to see it through, you shouldn't do it. Every time I've tried stepping out of my comfort zone "just for the hell of it", it usually ends up being pointless at best and embarrassing at worst. I'm not changed at all, I don't really accomplish anything be…
> The idea behind stepping outside of your comfort zone is that you keep doing it until it becomes your new comfort zone.
That's kinda worse. The only good way to venture into new areas, in my opinion, is to make little steps forward, to the extent that you're not standing still "as-is" but also while you're still in control of your emotions.
This will expand your comfort zone gradually until the thing that was originally very uncomfortable, is now only slightly uncomfortable.
But going completely outside your zone over and over again? No thanks. This might work for some people, specifically people with SP temperament (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artisan_temperament) who tend to seek stimulation, but it's not a good advice for the general population.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#73Earlier quoted context omitted.
The idea behind stepping outside of your comfort zone is that you keep doing it until it becomes your new comfort zone. If you're not ready to invest the effort needed to see it through, you shouldn't do it. Every time I've tried stepping out of my comfort zone "just for the hell of it", it usually ends up being pointless at best and embarrassing at worst. I'm not changed at all, I don't really accomplish anything be…
"The idea behind stepping outside of your comfort zone is that you keep doing it until it becomes your new comfort zone." No it isn't. The point of stepping outside your comfort zone is to see if it really does belong outside your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone and demanding that that be the new way, results be damned, is just as foolish as never stepping outside your comfort zone. Not everything ou…
That's fair too. The point is that you do have to stick with it long enough that you can actually judge the results. If you've been outside your comfort zone for a long time and it's still not comfortable, maybe it's time to try stepping in a different direction. But if you just went to a meetup once and you felt terribly socially awkward and you never went back, how do you know whether it's because first meetings are always awkwards vs. you just don't click with those people?
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#74"Watch your mouth." and "Wait your turn." Perhaps, it's something girls are harassed about more than guys, but until I stopped following that "advice" (early college), things were quite mediocre for me.
Perhaps it's time for some Harry Enfield http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjxY9rZwNGU&feature=youtu...
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#75Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you're trolling this post with spectacularly bad advice about bad advice, well done. If you truly believe that, you have a very cynical worldview. I am quite introverted but whenever I force myself to go to a social event where I don't know anyone and make friends, I always have a great time and meet awesome people, and it invariably goes better than I thought it would. If you just assume the people there WANT to…
It sounds more like you're a shy extrovert rather than an introvert.
No, it doesn't. Introverts are perfectly capable of overcoming their personality tendencies. Introversion or extraversion refer to your natural inclination, but it determines nothing.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#76"Quit your job and start a company" - Yep, that totally didn't work out as I had hoped. Stuff that are easy to do when there is no pressure suddenly become impossible. Thinking about it as walking on a board one foot wide on the ground, easy right. Now, put that board one thousand foot up in the air now try walking on it, not so easy now that your life depends on it. For some bootstrapping after your normal work hours is a better path to startup.
"Change the system from the inside" - If you are apart of a system that encourages physical and mental abuse of its members, don't try to change it, leave. Systems include: Fraternity, Brotherhoods, Cults, Gangs, Churches, Country, Jobs and the like. In general don't try to change systems, just move to a better one.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#77"It'll just happen when you least expect it." It's just something people say to console, not actually anything that's remotely useful or true. Magic never happens on its own. You have to go out there and make it happen.
I'm honestly not sure I'm understanding you properly, but if I am, this is true up to a point. We like to believe in a world where everyone's results are directly correlated with how much work they've done, but that's just as much a fantasy as it is to believe that all you have to do is sit around and wait for the right opportunity to magically appear.
I hate to break it to you, but the most successful people in society usually got there not only from hard work but from being in the right place at the right time.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#78Worst advice for me was "don't let any doors close", "keep your options open", and variations on that theme. Did a lot of damage because it sounds so reasonable, yet the net effect is to prevent or forestall commitment.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#79Nothing that messed up my life, but the pieces of bad advice I'm glad I dropped are "you should try to please everyone" and "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" which are a rough translation of two Romanian proverbs encouraging obedience and complacency.
As soon as I ignored those I started accomplishing meaningful things.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#80Earlier quoted context omitted.
The idea behind stepping outside of your comfort zone is that you keep doing it until it becomes your new comfort zone. If you're not ready to invest the effort needed to see it through, you shouldn't do it. Every time I've tried stepping out of my comfort zone "just for the hell of it", it usually ends up being pointless at best and embarrassing at worst. I'm not changed at all, I don't really accomplish anything be…
> The idea behind stepping outside of your comfort zone is that you keep doing it until it becomes your new comfort zone. That's kinda worse. The only good way to venture into new areas, in my opinion, is to make little steps forward, to the extent that you're not standing still "as-is" but also while you're still in control of your emotions. This will expand your comfort zone gradually until the thing that was origi…
I'm an INTP, not exactly an SP temperament. I have historically been very change-averse, almost Aspergian, enough that I almost didn't want to go to college because I couldn't imagine living anywhere but my parents' house. I moved across the country for a new job in a challenging field, and knew virtually nobody there. That isn't exactly baby steps.
It worked because I pretty much made it the focus of my life to adjust to my new situation. Yes, it was scary. It was also a huge opportunity, and I wasn't going to pass it up.
If the idea of a big change completely fills you with dread, you shouldn't do it. That's my point - you should either go all-in or not-at-all-in. But if it's only a little scary, and you think you can do it, my experience has been that it's almost always better to do it and keep at it until it's no longer scary.