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Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

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Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#191

Post by okdo »

jeofken wrote: post #169

For years I struggled to become financially independent (as Mr Money Mustache). Years upon years of watching the clock until it hit 17:30, hating the dumb coders who made a mess for me to clean up (because I know FP, and if we had types these bugs wouldn’t be here in the first place!). A year ago, I pulled the plug, and retired. Finally, I could work on my dream project every day. I did so for 6 months, and travelled…

These kind of problems solve themselves depending on the people around you. If they are a bunch of slackers or don't care about you enough, yes this is the kind of life outcome you can expect kiddos. So make the right friends.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#192

Post by x3n0ph3n3 »

operakadabra wrote: post #19
wccrawford wrote: post #2

Correction: "Decided to become a therapist". >Shortly after beginning my Hakomi training, I applied and was accepted to the professional mental health counseling masters program at Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where I'm studying and training through 2020 to get my licensure. Going through schooling is not the same as becoming something. The title implies that there was success found here, but so far…

"Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome." -Arthur Ashe

Good for Aurthur, but that's not how the world views success, and rightfully so.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#193

Post by monktastic1 »

lm28469 wrote: post #58
short_sells_poo wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd like to prefix this as _anecdotal_ as it is only some speculation I've done on the matter, but here is my take on it: The brain is in the end a neural network, and like all such devices, can get stuck in various local minima that are difficult to get out of. An old habit that has been reinforced through many years can take a considerable "shock" to dislodge. All the little cognitive and behavioral biases that one…

The problem is that we shouldn't feel the need to use drugs to make our lives bearable. Depression, burnout and other mental issues is amplified by our lifestyles and the system that allowed them. Sure you can take psychedelics, anti depressant, alcohol, and other drugs to make it bearable, it won't fix the underlying issue(s). I agree with most of what you say on psychedelics, I don't see it as a cure to what we're…

I agree we shouldn't need drugs to make our lives bearable. I do find that psychedelics behave differently than other things called "drugs" though. Here's a quote I love from someone who took ayahuasca:

"The medicine was saying, “You only need to come here when you forget! Remember that the miracle is the dimension you normally live in. The more you can find the Divine in what you think of as the ordinary world, the less often you need to come back here.""

In contrast, drugs generally say "It's more fun over here! Come back any time!"

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#194

Post by andromedavision »

balabaster wrote: post #188
andromedavision wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is what I have a problem with; one cannot even share a simple poem without it degenerating into a virtue signalling debate. Now you're forced to defend something that you had nothing to do with. Yuck.

Unfortunately, that's the world we live in at this moment where too many people need to find validation by belonging to some virtue group or another because they care what other people think. In hindsight, I'm not sure why I even cared enough to defend my position. Perhaps I'm not so different as I'd like to hope.

No, you're alright.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#195

Post by jeofken »

okdo wrote: post #191
jeofken wrote: post #169

For years I struggled to become financially independent (as Mr Money Mustache). Years upon years of watching the clock until it hit 17:30, hating the dumb coders who made a mess for me to clean up (because I know FP, and if we had types these bugs wouldn’t be here in the first place!). A year ago, I pulled the plug, and retired. Finally, I could work on my dream project every day. I did so for 6 months, and travelled…

These kind of problems solve themselves depending on the people around you. If they are a bunch of slackers or don't care about you enough, yes this is the kind of life outcome you can expect kiddos. So make the right friends.

The people around me are already more than I deserve :-). It’s not their responsibility that I don’t waste my days. Thanks to my close friends for being there for me during my depression.

To you who suffer out there, you know that happiness exists, so it is rational to keep the hope for it.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#196

Post by iamdave »

eeeeeeeeeeeee wrote: post #42
sleepysysadmin wrote: post #9

There is a severe workplace burnout problem in IT(especially MSPs); which when not addressed grows into bigger mental health issues and even literal sicknesses. There just isn't enough skilled IT people. The industry is immature and is bottom heavy. The top performers and seniors, are then overwhelmed with work and the business is unable to hire more senior people to reduce workload. Then the business keeps growing a…

I have experienced everything you cited. Especially the death threats. Even when we shut off a customer for non-payment we would sometimes get them at my one job. The negativity seems to be pervasive at companies where tech is viewed as a cost center. At those kind of companies, IT tries to be proactive at first, but being proactive usually costs money, so it's often ignored. And then a failure happens as a result of…

IT tries to be proactive at first, but being proactive usually costs money, so it's often ignored. And then a failure happens as a result of ignoring that issue and then the tech people get yelled at.

Reminds me of a line I heard once, can't remember where but it was definitely in the very context you mention here, it goes: "When people realize they can't reliably work with you, they start looking for ways to work around you"

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#197

Post by dsfyu404ed »

sleepysysadmin wrote: post #94
agumonkey wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Slight digression: how many thinks that there's also a strong "burnout" trend across the whole job surface ? health, teachers, programmers ..

These statistics exist and have been reconfirmed many times. For the last 10 years healthcare has been #1 burnt out. IT following up very closely. In the last 1-2 years IT has been showing up as #1 in the studies done. Up around ~65%. Major corps like Nvidia and Cisco being worse yet. ER was something like 90%. Nursing was 40%. Over 1/3 of healthcare has been diagnosed with depression. Whereas industries like Educati…

>In fact there's a negative relationship with burnout and unions.

Or people feel locked into union workplaces because they don't want to give up their seniority and the benefits that come with it. "I hate my job but I have X more years until I've worked here Y years and my pension jumps to Z% of my pay" may as well be the official motto of the state employees union (in my state at least). They may be burned out but they keep their jobs because the cost of actually quitting is higher.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#198

Post by zanny »

nabnob wrote: post #36

I've been having the same existential crisis for a couple years now. I started working at a FAANG company right out of college, then after a bunch of personal health problems ended up taking a leave of absence that I didn't return from. I took a long break from software and started learning politics, philosophy, and history, and eventually came to the conclusion that most of the world's problems are social/political…

What really worries me is that thinking about it probably the greatest positive influence you can have, at least in theory, would be to build something massively exploitative and unethical, siphon gross amounts of money out of the economy with it, and then insure that money is not spent unethically again.

A large part of why things are the way they are is because both wealth hoarders and consumers incentivize the status quo with their economic influence. Building systems, writing software, trying to raise awareness, etc does little to displace an economic system centered on exploiting weakness and maximizing profit. The most any one person can really, truly do is amass such a substantial portion wealth that they can dictate and control to be a force for good and not evil.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#199

Post by Baeocystin »

balabaster wrote: post #188
andromedavision wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is what I have a problem with; one cannot even share a simple poem without it degenerating into a virtue signalling debate. Now you're forced to defend something that you had nothing to do with. Yuck.

Unfortunately, that's the world we live in at this moment where too many people need to find validation by belonging to some virtue group or another because they care what other people think. In hindsight, I'm not sure why I even cared enough to defend my position. Perhaps I'm not so different as I'd like to hope.

Letting people know your honest thoughts in a straightforward manner is important. I know plenty of folks who hold opinions along the same line as the person you replied to. They are usually various degrees of shocked when I give them civil yet straightforward pushback, and more often then one may think, when done in person, it leads to real discussion, and ideas outside of normal worldview enter both our minds. It is a good thing.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#200

Post by influx »

jeofken wrote: post #182
driverdan wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A common problem with FIRE is that people don't have hobbies other than FIRE. Once they retire they don't know what to do. Get some hobbies, try new things, build something physical, volunteer with non-profits. If I could stop working today I'd never be bored. I've taken two extended periods of time off (6 months and 18 months) and both times the primary reason for going back to work was money. I had plenty of things…

That might be, but it wasn’t the case for me. I play music, have some pretty cool coding projects, am self-studying science, do sports, and have good friends. When this contract is up I’ll def take some months off, maybe another half year. Would have never imagined the situation to turn out like this for me, but apparently that’s the kind of guy I am. Born a work horse, distressed with no heavy load to carry. I just…

I know that one year I worked from home and hated it. I realized most of my social interaction came from work. I wonder if volunteering or teaching part time during the day might be a solution for you.
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